I had a "discussion" with a fellow recently about the nature of the spatula. I'm particular about which tools I will call spatulas (spatulae?); I feel that most people are too free with the word.

The most common error — and the one that grieves me most — is to call a pancake turner a spatula. It's not a spatula: it's a pancake turner. (Or, if you must, simply a "turner".)

Now this fellow with whom I had a "discussion" found my dogmatic view ignorant and annoying. To bolster his case he pulled out a dictionary and read me the definition: "An implement with a broad, flexible blade for spreading or blending foods, paints, etc."

He smiled smugly and held up the turner that he was using to grill hamburgers. "See?" he said. "This is a spatula."

"No, it's not," I said. "It's a turner."

He shook his head in exasperation.

I'm not sure why I'm so dogmatic on this particular word, but I am. A turner is a turner and a spatula is a spatula and never the twain shall meet. I think the difficulty lies in the manner in which the words are defined. Most people define a spatula in terms of shape, and in doing so, they're able to justify calling a turner a spatula. (Let's leave out that they have fundamentally different shapes; they're close enough for most people, I guess.) Not me. I define the two implements based on function: I would never use a spatula to flip a burger, and I would never use a turner to scrape cookie dough from a mixing bowl.

The manufacturers are on my side.

This Amazon page shows several different kitchen implements. Some of them are turners, some of them are spatulas. The featured item is a hybrid spatula-turner (and is pretty damn cool, I must say). The product's description clearly states that it is two tools in one: a spatula and a turner. If a turner were a spatula, there'd be no need to claim this.

How about some spatula fun?

• America's Best Spatula Clip Art — whee!
• The less exciting spatula.com.
• Spongebob Squarepants: Legend of the Lost Spatula video game
• SPOON!

My pet peeve with the word "spatula" may seem silly, but I'm sure all of you have similar peeves. :)