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06 November 2003 — Exquisite Corpse (10)

Another Wednesday, another writing class.

I like this class because Rick, our instructor, is focused on procedure, not product. Most writing seminars focus on the end-product, which can ultimately be frustrating to amateur writers such as myself. The work we produce just isn't that good, it doesn't hold up well to scrutiny.

Rick is more concerned with the process of writing. He wants to teach us how writers work. It's been revelatory.

Compare the first draft of my second story with the second draft. It's still not a good story, but it has improved (I hope). More to the point, it's been heavily revised and altered. It's moving in a different direction than the one I had initially intended. By using the writing process, I'm learning to produce a different product that I've always done before.


We discussed point-of-view in class last night. Rick noted that the most important question in choosing the story's point of view is: whose truth do you want to tell? I liked that, of course.


Our in-class writing exercise was fun. We did what Rick called an "exquisite corpse", a variation of an old parlor game.

Here's how it works. Each participant takes out a blank piece of paper. Then:

  1. We write 1-3 sentences introducing a character in media res (in the middle of the action). We pass the page to our left.
  2. With the page passed to us, we add to the story by writing 1-3 sentences introducing a second character and a conflict. We pass the page to the left.
  3. With the page passed to us, we add to the story by writing 1-3 sentences escalating the conflict. We pass the page to the left.
  4. With the page passed to us, we add to the story by writing a single sentence of dialogue with "gestures". (Meaning, "he said, pointing the gun menacingly", etc.) We pass the page to the left.
  5. With the page passed to us, we add to the story by writing 1-3 sentences of naked dialogue. (Naked dialogue has no gestures, is just "he said", "she said", etc.) We pass the page to the left.
  6. With the page passed to us, we add to the story by bringing everything to a climax in 1-3 sentences. We pass the page to the left.
  7. With the page passed to us, we complete the story by writing a two-sentence denouement.
The resulting stories were fun, if sometimes siderailed by punk kids who think it's better to be funny ("A zombie lept from the bushes and sucked out her eyes!", etc.) than serious.


The writing class has been chewing at my free time. It takes several hours to complete the homework every week. Unfortunately, that generally means I'm giving up time I'd normally spend writing here. When I'm finished, though, my story-telling skills ought to have improved some.

On this day at foldedspace.org

2002Sunrise   I was almost late for work this morning because I stopped on Goods Bridge to photograph the sunrise.

2001Computers, Comics, and Classics   Thoughts on Internet Explorer, Tintin comics, and on Wuthering Heights.

Comments
On 06 November 2003 (09:20 PM), Denise said:

I think your second draft is a great improvement. It caught my attention much faster, the character is better developed, and I like the overall flow better than the first draft.

Great job, J.D. - keep it up.


On 06 November 2003 (09:50 PM), dowingba said:

I didn't like the second one. I mean, Neo can bring people back to life? What is he, Jesus?

Oh wait, wrong thread.


On 07 November 2003 (08:48 AM), mac said:

comment gone


On 07 November 2003 (08:55 AM), Lynn said:

I really liked the paragraph about Ecclisiastes being a book for a younger man. That's the type of paragraph I read in a book and think, I could never come up with stuff like that! Very cool.


On 07 November 2003 (12:10 PM), Lynn said:

On an unrelated topic, though I am not really a science fiction fan per se, I know that many of you are. Therefore, I thought I would mention that the Oregonian's A&E has a list of the best 50 Sci-fi movies of all time. Interesting list even for us non-sci-fi-buffs.


On 07 November 2003 (12:58 PM), Tammy said:

Great story Jd. The second draft is a huge improvement. But then I would think that . I like stories with human interest. Adding the wife makes it a little more real for people who aren't into photography. Thats why I don't like Science fiction. Theres nothing real to get a hold of. Nothing to relate to. I can't relate to your passion for pictures; the different lenses, how light is filtered, the shole thing. Boring! But you add that dead wife of yours in there and suddenly I'm interested. I wnat to know how one gets past a thing like that. How does that old man view his life now? How does he handle his grief? Oh, his passion for photography. Now I'm interested in the photography. It helps me understand the man. Good story.


On 07 November 2003 (02:33 PM), Mom (Sue) said:

I especially like the way you generate suspense, J.D.


On 07 November 2003 (03:56 PM), Aimee said:

JD ...

Great beginnings - One always has to start somewhere, eh? Like Tammy, I am very intrigued by the element of human interest (i.e., Anne and Louise) ...

I have a simple question: What would happen to your story if your told it backwards? Try it. Begin with the field photography and then try cutting in bit about family, etc., and conclude with Anne's death. Learn to love your cut-and-paste! Just a thought ... I think that you can make the photography bits metaphoric and potent if you name-drop (e.g., Remember your audience: Do we really care about this character's feelings about Corbis? Or, can the same notion be expressed in more vague terms?) a bit less and generalize a bit more - Talk more about the process of photography: Capturing a image, catching the light, adjusting the focus, and so on ... Your opening lines about the greys embrace these ideas without blatently stating: "I'm a photographer. I notice how exterior light plays across a dark room because of my relationship with my Nikon."

Very brave, though, JD ... Hats off.

Yours,


On 08 November 2003 (09:31 AM), Joel said:

Editing note: "It's a small thing, just a cub, and in a shortly it is dead."
should probably read:
"It's a small thing, just a cub, and shortly it is dead."
Though I would prefer "soon it is dead."
I think the story is very good. Does Diego bring the rifle because he fears the mother will return looking for the cub?


On 08 November 2003 (10:21 AM), Nikchick said:

When I read the title of this entry, I thought it was going to be about Andrei Codrescu's Exquisite Corpse.


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