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29 August 2004 — Peeing Off the Back Porch (12)

I grew up in the country.

One of the benefits of this, for me and my three brothers, was that we could pee anywhere we wanted. If we got the urge — no matter where we were — we'd just pull down our pants and take a whizz.

To the best of my knowledge, this is a luxury not enjoyed by city boys.

Best of all, we could pee off the back porch. Even if the bathroom were free, even if the bathroom were closer, even if there were no reason to pee off the back porch, we'd often choose to do so anyhow.

There was something particularly pleasing aboout the long, delicate arcs of urine we sent into the back lawn. Our favrorite target was the utility pole by the back door.

Sometimes we'd have pissing contests. We'd stand side-by-side and pee together: several long, delicate arcs of urine sent into the back lawn. Dad always won, of course: he had more advanced equipment.

It's been a long time since I was able to pee off the back porch. In college, there were people who did so, but they generally got in trouble with Campus Safety. In Canby, peeing off the back porch would probably have been noticed by the neighbors.

Now, though &mdash now, I am free to pee off the back porch again!

Ah — life in the country...

On this day at foldedspace.org

2005Moved In   After fifteen months we feel moved in.

2003Musical Interlude   In which we see the symphony by the river. In which Harrison explains about rainbows. In which I am fond of Eros Ramazzotti.

2002pinched nerve   ow.

Comments
On 30 August 2004 (06:51 AM), Jeff said:

1. It's just not as cute when you are 35.

2. I will be sure to avoid the area around your back porch next time I visit.


On 30 August 2004 (08:00 AM), Dana said:
One of the benefits of this, for me and my three brothers, was that we could pee anywhere we wanted. If we got the urge -- no matter where we were -- we'd just pull down our pants and take a whizz.

You do realize that indoor plumbing is one of the halmarks of civilization, right? And people wonder why I want to be a woman...

=)


On 30 August 2004 (08:11 AM), Kris said:

Darling, let me reiterate: You are NOT FREE to pee off our back porch. Gross! The mingling odors of pipe tobacco, cat spray, and human urine will surely rid us of any potential relationships with our neighbors.


On 31 August 2004 (10:07 AM), Joel said:

Kris: "The mingling odors of pipe tobacco, cat spray, and human urine will surely rid us of any potential relationships with our neighbors."

I laugh, then I pause and think, and laugh again.


On 31 August 2004 (11:23 AM), Anonymous said:

As an undergraduate, a friend of mine and I made it a point to sneak onto the roof of every building on campus and pee off the top of the building. There's nothing quite like the feeling of standing at the top of a 4 or 5 story building, hanging things off the side and lettin' er rip. Look out below!

Given our occassional degree of intoxication, it's amazing we didn't fall off the top of the buildings. Seemed a good idea at the time.


On 31 August 2004 (11:40 AM), Aimee said:

Do I even need to remind anyone about Joel's impromptu compost privy? Complete with rationalization: "Nitrogen is good for the soil!"


On 01 September 2004 (02:52 PM), Dana said:

Good lord, Aimee. Ick.

I remember having to actively convince JD to bring along more than one change of clothing for a week-long geek/camping trip a few years back. He finally relented. It didn't stop the whole 'Fire in the Hole' routine every time he cut the cheese, though.

Sigh.


On 01 September 2004 (02:58 PM), J.D. said:

I am man, hear me roar!


On 01 September 2004 (03:12 PM), Dana said:

How about "You are Man, smell you a mile off!"?


On 21 July 2005 (01:11 PM), skippy said:

i wish i was aloud to do that


On 21 July 2005 (01:12 PM), skippy said:

i wish i was aloud to do that


On 30 August 2005 (11:16 AM), Kyle said:

Ah yes, outdoor pissing. One of the great joys of life. I truly love letting it loost outside. I try to pee everywhere. I love being a man...


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