« Chilly | Main | Vote! »

22 October 2004 — Trivial Pursuit: Geek Edition (11)

For weeks now, Andrew has been asking me to join him on Thursday nights for the trivia contest at Mickey Finn's, a pub in Woodstock. He calls on Thursday afternoon, usually around four or five, and regales me with tales of his team's past glory. "Come join us tonight," he says. "You have a trivial mind."

"I'd love to," I say, "but I need more than two hours notice. Give me twenty-four hours notice and I'm there."

This week, Andrew gave me twenty-four hours notice. This week, I was there.

Mickey Finn's is a pleasant, open neighborhood pub: no smoking, a good menu, a friendly atmosphere. On Thursday nights Mickey Finn's plays host to Mr. Bill's Traveling Trivia Show. Teams of players write down answers to a series of questions, and then turn the answers in to the scorekeeper. There are four rounds of eighteen questions each. At the end of each round, teams are awarded a certain number of raffle tickets based on their score. Raffle tickets are drawn and prizes awarded.

It was a fun time, especially once I had my fill of (greasy) fish and chips and had downed a couple of Lemon Drops. (Yum!)


Dave is puzzled by a question. Andrew offers to provide an answer: "I could explain it for you in small words and pictures."

"Do they involve naked women?" asks Dave.

"They involve math," I say, making a not-so-subtle joke, one which Andrew is tired of hearing.

"They involve both," says Andrew, an answer that pleases the table. (Because, really, what could please four geeks more than math and naked women. Together!)


"In a 1978 movie, Ma and Pa Kent raised whom?" asks Mr. Bill

We answer the obvious: "Clark Kent". We also throw in, for geeky good measure, "a.k.a. Superman" and "a.k.a. Kal-El".

"A.k.a. that paralyzed dead guy," I say.

Andrew shakes his head, displeased. "You get a couple of lemon drops in him and he's obnoxious," he says.


A woman leaves after the first round. She gives us her tickets. Andrew takes an inordinate amount of time to divide them. He seems puzzled. Exasperated, I exclaim: "What's going on? Do you need me to explain the math?" Ha ha! I've used that old joke twice in one night.


"What is the abbreviation for Nickel?" asks Mr. Bill. "And for bonus points, what is its atomic number?"

Josh and Andrew have the abbreviation — Ni — quickly. Josh begins to puzzle the atomic number. He mutters numbers under his breath, counts off an imaginary periodic table. Since my wife is a chemist, I call her at home.

"What's the atomic number for nickel?" I ask.

Kris has to look it up. "Twenty-eight," she says.

"Twenty-eight," I say.

Andrew points to the paper. Josh has already written twenty-eight. How did he know that? While we wait for the questions to be scored, we make geeky "Knights who say Nickel" jokes.


During breaks in the game, we watch the many television monitors throughout the pub. They're tuned to three different stations, and over the course of the trivia contest, we see bits of Seinfeld, Friends (Dave: "Lisa Kudrow is almost attractive. Josh: "Yeah, if she didn't look like that."), some Japanese stunt show, game seven of the Houston/St. Louis series, and many, many political advertisements.

"Are you guys voting yes on any of the ballot measures?" Dave asks. None of us are, not that we recall. (Later, when I tell Kris about the evening, she points out that I do intend to vote yes on 34, the forest measure.)

We discuss the anti-SAIF measure and how silly it is. We discuss the medical malpractice measure. Josh and Dave take turns explaining why capping damages is a bad idea. They sound positively wonkish. (To be fair, there is another side to this debate.)

(At no time do we discuss measure 36; there's no need. However, I do tell them a little story. That morning the guys in the shop had been joking around, telling each other "One man, one woman," making fun of the Yes on 36 slogan. I told them earnestly, "No. One man, two women." Apparently they hadn't heard that one before; they thought it was pretty funny.)


I'm eating salt. I sometimes eat salt in restaurants. Dave shakes his head and grabs the shaker. "Someone take this away from him. Jesus Christ. He's eating salt."

We disparage Julia Roberts, especially her wide, wide mouth. Dave — the man who finds Lisa Kudrow "almost attractive" — disparages Cameron Diaz. I defend Cameron Diaz. (Even her face, which Dave apparently finds her most offensive feature. "Well, she is kind of ugly," Kris tells me later.)


One of the questions is: "When should you use the Heimlich maneuver?" I think that the correct answer is "never", but the answer they probably want is "for choking". Dave and I argue over which is more dangerous to the victim: the Heimlich maneuver or a slap on the back. (Googling later, I find the correct answer: use the Heimlich maneuver! I was wrong.)


Josh knows every member of Monty Python's Flying Circus (official site). This nets us six points for a question ostensibly worth only one point. We win that round because of Josh's geekiness.


There are several "Name That Tune" questions. Josh does surprisingly well at these. One of the tunes I know is The Final Countdown by Europe. I remark how much the song's keyboards remind me of Only Time Will Tell by Asia (another group named after a continent).

We try to name all of the original band members in Asia. ("The original supergroup," Josh reminds us.) We get Geoff Downes, John Wetton, and Steve Howe, but cannot name the fourth member. (Googling later reveals: Carl Palmer. Duh.)

Another song that plays between questions is Scorpions' Rock You Like a Hurricane. We agree that Still Loving You, from the same album, is one of the great ballads of rock.


At the end of the night, we divided the bill. No problem for four brainy guys, right? Wrong.

We each think we've made the correct calculations, but Andrew insists we're coming up a few dollars short. Each of us goes over our total a couple of times and comes up with the same results. We're still a few dollars short. How can this be?

In the end, Andrew realizes he's made a mathematical error in calculating his share of the bill. All the fuss he made was a result of his own error. The standing joke is just waiting to be trotted out for a third time in as many hours, but I let it go.


Life is good.

On this day at foldedspace.org

2003Another Reason I Prefer Cats to Dogs   In which I cannot sleep because the dog next door won't stop barking.

2002Herb Nelson   My favorite person I ever met while making sales calls was Herb Nelson.

2001Off Kilter   In which the Mariners lose the ALCS, I come upon an accident, Fry's sucks, I do not play Diablo, and Kris and I are sick (but we have a nice time anyhow).

Comments
On 22 October 2004 (08:26 AM), Dana said:

Dagny ran into Julia Roberts in a shop in New Mexico at one point. Her verdict? "She has a mouth like a Muppet."

Cameron Diaz apparently has extensive acne scars on her face, which are hidden by makeup and the fact that the resolution on TV and film isn't that great.

What you are noticing about Andrew is not that he has trouble with math. He has trouble with Arithmatic, which is not the same thing.

Josh knew the Atomic Number of Nickel because he understands how the periodic table is put together, most likely. It is, (duh) periodic. There's a pattern.

The official original roster of Monty Python is easy -- how could you not know: Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, Graham Chapman, Eric Idle, John Cleese, Michael Palin, and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver?

You eat salt? You have the weirdest relationship to food that I've ever encountered, I think.

Re: Same Sex marriage. Intersexed folks and people like me complicate matters -- take "one man, one woman" as 'gospel'. Now, how do you make sure that someone is a man or a woman? Groin checks? Genetics? What about people whose biology is indeterminate (ie, intersexed folk)?

Can and should the government be that involved in determining who is a 'real man' and who is a 'real woman'?

Blarg.

Nice entry, though. Sounds like life is, indeed, good. Now you just need to evict the skunk and get warm, and you'll be all set! =)


On 22 October 2004 (08:36 AM), J.D. said:

Dana: What you are noticing about Andrew is not that he has trouble with math. He has trouble with Arithmatic, which is not the same thing.

But is math the same as arithmetic? :)

Except for Dana, Andrew, and myself, readers will be unaware that there is History behind Dana's claim above. Nearly fifteen years of History. Dana is woeful — woeful — at arithmetic, to the point where she must use a calculator to sum dice rolls when we do geeky things like, oh, play Dungeons and Dragons, for example.

"How can a math and physics major not total dice in her head?" you might ask yourself. "Doesn't one have to be good at math in order to major in it?"

I have asked the same many times &mash; in a heavily mocking tone, I should add &madsh; only to be rebuked, time and again, with the Arithmetic is not math argument.

Of course, I really can't counter that because although I don't know precisely what Dana means, I get the gist: Spelling is not writing. Snapping a picture is not photography. Boiling a hot dog is not cooking.

Still, I would make fun of Caprial if she couldn't boil a hot dog, and I'll continue to make fun of Dana and Andrew because they cannot add. (And, of course, Andrew gets extra teasing — heaps of it — because of his immortal words: "You don't need to explain the math to me!")


On 22 October 2004 (09:02 AM), Courtney said:

Attention wives of trivia geeks:

Karen and I had a lovely dinner at Three Doors Down on Hawthorne while the guys ate greasy food, contemplated the beauty of "friends", scar-faced women and muppets, and answered Mr. Bill's trivial questions.

In contrast, we nibbled on fresh baked Italian bread with a white bean herb spread, took our time with penne in vodka sauce with spicy Italian sausage (Karen) and fettucine with fresh clams and mussels in butter, white wine and garlic (moi), and finished the evening with jasmine and mint melange teas.

The conversation was rich too! We told each other the stories of how we met our spouses, discussed politics, children, parents (and in my case a parent who acts like a child), etc. There were no TV screens to gawk at, no male models to critique and no math/chemistry problems, except figuring out the bill at the end of the evening with ease (total divided by 2).

So, consider this an invitation to join us the next time the guys do trivia. :)


On 22 October 2004 (09:04 AM), Jeff said:

You disparage Julia Roberts for her wide, wide mouth but defend Cameron Diaz? That is like the pinnacle of hypocrisy.

I would agree with Dave and Kris on this one.


On 22 October 2004 (09:05 AM), Dave said:

Geez, Mr. Playback-all-of-the-sexist-bits-of-the-conversation, we did do more than just comment on women (naked and otherwise). Curious that those are the parts you remember best. And for the record, we did get Carl Palmer as one of Asia, it was Steve Howe that we forgot and it was Drew who took the salt from you, not me. Remember, I'm the libertarian. My watchwords are "I hold the right sacred of everyone to go to hell in their own way" which means that if you want to increase your sodium intake, be my guest.


On 22 October 2004 (09:09 AM), J.D. said:

Ugh. Shiver.

Jeff, did you have to link to those photos. Both of them scare me.

Eww.


On 22 October 2004 (09:12 AM), Dana said:

I can do arithmetic just fine. I'm just slow, and I can't do it in my head.

It's all about connotation. Here are some definitions cribbed from merriam-webster:

mathematics 1 : the science of numbers and their operations, interrelations, combinations, generalizations, and abstractions and of space configurations and their structure, measurement, transformations, and generalizations
2 : a branch of, operation in, or use of mathematics

arithmetic 1 a : a branch of mathematics that deals usually with the nonnegative real numbers including sometimes the transfinite cardinals and with the application of the operations of addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division to them

algebra 1 : a generalization of arithmetic in which letters representing numbers are combined according to the rules of arithmetic
2 : any of various systems or branches of mathematics or logic concerned with the properties and relationships of abstract entities (as complex numbers, matrices, sets, vectors, groups, rings, or fields) manipulated in symbolic form under operations often analogous to those of arithmetic

geometry 1 a : a branch of mathematics that deals with the measurement, properties, and relationships of points, lines, angles, surfaces, and solids; broadly : the study of properties of given elements that remain invariant under specified transformations

differential calculus : a branch of mathematics concerned chiefly with the study of the rate of change of functions with respect to their variables especially through the use of derivatives and differentials

integral calculus : a branch of mathematics concerned with the theory and applications (as in the determination of lengths, areas, and volumes and in the solution of differential equations) of integrals and integration

analysis 3b (1) : a branch of mathematics concerned mainly with functions and limits (2) : CALCULUS 1b

calculus 1b : the mathematical methods comprising differential and integral calculus

mathematical logic noun : SYMBOLIC LOGIC

symbolic logic : a science of developing and representing logical principles by means of a formalized system consisting of primitive symbols, combinations of these symbols, axioms, and rules of inference

Do you see? Mathematics is a science (in particular, a form of symbolic logic).

Arithmetic, Calculus, Geometry, and Algebra are all distinct branches of that science, kind of like how Organic Chemistry and Biochemistry are branches of the science of Chemistry.

Chemical Engineering is sort of like Applied Chemistry.

Applied Math is sort of like Physics. Applied Physics is basically Engineering (in the non-chemical sense -- EE and ME, mostly, with a bit of Civil Engineering).


On 22 October 2004 (11:43 AM), dowingba said:

No "NSFW" warning on those Lisa Kudrow pictures? Sheesh, nobody wanted to see that...


On 22 October 2004 (11:47 AM), J.D. said:

Lordy, lordy, lordy. You're right. Jeff just came in and made me scroll down on the page. (On this monitor, I only see the first ten images). Yikes!

So, if you've got this far be warned: the Lisa Kudrow images are not safe for work.

And dowingba, why were you following that link anyhow? :)


On 22 October 2004 (06:04 PM), jeremy said:

Were you able to get the glass installed ok?


On 22 October 2004 (06:05 PM), jeremy said:

After reading yesterday's entry I realized that you may be able to keep the heat in better if the pane of glass in the door is re-installed!


Post a comment
Name


Email Address
(required, not shown)


URL


Comments




Remember info?