I made a mistake recently — a large mistake, or several of them — on an order — a large order &mdash for an important customer. I had hoped to resolve the problems on Friday, but wasn't able to. The dilemma weighed upon me all weekend. It smothered me.
Today, as a gesture of apology, I took B., my customer, a bottle of single malt scotch: The Balvenie 15 year. It's good stuff.
After we'd come to an agreement as to how to resolve the problem, B. disappeared for a few moments. I continued to discuss details with his partner, D.
B. soon re-appeared with three tumblers, each filled with a little scotch. We stood around the warehouse, sipping whisky and discussing food. B. and D. explained the difference between bourbon and scotch. I told them about Friend Thanksgiving. They told me about food groups (like book groups, but with food).
"This is good stuff," I said. "But now I've got trouble. I have to see another customer in an hour."
D. and B. laughed. "Yeah," said B. "It's hard to get whisky off your breath."
"You can't smell it," said D., "but other people can. Even though you've only had a sip, it smells like you took a bath in it."
Great. Just what I need is for a customer to think I'm a lush.
On the way to my next appointment, I phoned W., the only person I thought could help. "What do you do to cover alcohol on your breath?" I asked.
"Well," W. said. "It might work to suck down a bottle of tic-tacs. Get the mint kind."
"No way," I said. "That's a myth. I don't think mint anything covers alcohol." I thought for a moment. "What I really need are onions."
"That might work," he said.
I pulled into a Carl's Jr. and ordered a Western BBQ burger: bacon, cheese, barbeque sauce, and onion rings. And fries. And a soda.
But when I'd finished, I still thought I could smell the whisky. I pulled into a mini-mart and bought a pickled sausage. And some sno-balls.
And a bottle of mint tic-tacs.
The sno-balls didn't seem to help, but then I hadn't expected them to, either. The pickled sausage, however, had a marked effect. My breath was certainly foul when I had finished, and the pickly smell intermingled with the air of whisky to produce someting wholly, well, piquant.
I sucked down the bottle of tic-tacs.
When I reached my appointment with L., I crossed my fingers. "Wow," she said. "Your breath is minty fresh."
No kidding.
I wonder if Tony ever had these sorts of problems when he was making sales calls.
Gather round, children. 'Tis time for the next episode of The Cinnamon Bear:
Episode #8: "Candy Pirates" (06 Dec 1937) — Judy and Jimmy are captured by Captain Taffy and his Pirates. They take the kids to the Magic Island and loan them a rowboat.
And tune in tomorrow for another exciting adventure!
On this day at foldedspace.org
2002 — Friday's Fun Day Friday's fun day at foldedspace.org!
2001 — Inertia Keeping a weblog is an exercise in inertia.
I would have just taken another bottle of scotch to the next customer with a "Happy Holidays" greeting. Perhaps they would have shared. :)