We're watching Alias. A commercial comes on, an ad for Valentine's Day gifts. The problem: the background music is a soft-rock remake of Nena's "99 Red Balloons" (a.k.a. "99 Luftballoons").
"You can't do that!" I shout at the television. "That's not what this song is about!"
"What song is about advertising?" asks Kris.
"But this song is an anti-war song. It's a protest song! You can't use it to sell diamond necklaces."
Here are the (poorly translated) English lyrics:
99 Red Balloons
by NenaYou and I in a little toy shop
Buy a bag of balloons with the money we've got.
Set them free at the break of dawn
'Til one by one, they were gone.
Back at base, bugs in the software
Flash the message, Something's out there.
Floating in the summer sky.
99 red balloons go by
99 red balloons.
Floating in the summer sky.
Panic bells, it's red alert.
There's something here from somewhere else.
The war machine springs to life.
Opens up one eager eye.
Focusing it on the sky.
Where 99 red balloons go by.99 Decision Street.
99 ministers meet.
To worry, worry, super-scurry.
Call the troops out in a hurry.
This is what we've waited for.
This is it boys, this is war.
The president is on the line
As 99 red balloons go by.
99 Knights of the air
Ride super-high-tech jet fighters
Everyone's a superhero.
Everyone's a Captain Kirk.
With orders to identify.
To clarify and classify.
Scramble in the summer sky.
As 99 red balloons go by.99 dreams I have had.
In every one a red balloon.
It's all over and I'm standing pretty.
In this dust that was a city.
If I could find a souvenier.
Just to prove the world was here.
And here is a red balloon
I think of you and let it go.
(I've always preferred the German version, but there'd be little point posting that here.)
I don't mind my favorite eighties synthpop tunes being used for advertising. I thought the ad campaign featuring The Cure's "Pictures of You" to promote digital photography was brilliant. I can think of other great possibilities — "Pretty in Pink" to advertise clothing; "Time After Time" for more digital photography; "Vacation" to sell, well, vacations — but using "99 Luftballoons" to advertise Valentine's Day is just absurd.
What's next? "Enola Gay" to advertise sneakers? (Why this would be inappropriate.)
Related: Songs about nuclear war from the eighties
ARGH! They just played the commercial again!
On this day at foldedspace.org
2004 — A New You In twenty-six days, I have lost eleven pounds. This makes me wonder if I might also be able to regain control of the other facets, too.
2003 — Sulkfest What a miserable little evening we had, eating chicken and dumplings, baking brownies, playing Carcassonne.
Obviously you didn't see the "Heroes" Budweiser commercial that aired during the Superbowl? It featured soldiers returning from Iraq - with the intro to U2's Where The Streets Have No Name playing in the background.