Dishpan Dribble

"Can she make a pumpkin pie, Billy boy, Billy boy"

Well all my smart talk about my ability to make pumpkin pies and my lack of inferiority thereof and what do I do but turn out the worst pumpkin pies a soul has ever cared to eat! I left them in the oven too long and the tops got much to brown. Of course they cracked from being overbaked.

My girlfriend was here and she watched the kids while I ran to the store to get more pumpkin aaaannnd more frozen crusts! On the way to the store I was mentally going over the ingredients involved in making a pie. Lets see I have two more cans of evaporated milk. I have 6 eggs left and plenty of sugar. Sugar! Heaven forbid. I had forgotten to put sugar in those overcooked pies! I have never in my life made such terrible pies!

What was it I was just saying this morning? I can make pies. Old hat. Nothing to it! Well didn't I just get my comeuppance! There you have it! My pies are resting nicely behind the garage in the garbage can! So there!

Kids, finances, and pies

There's so much to get done today and here I sit writing on this thing. I've got all the baking still to do and a couple of girlfriends are coming this morning to visit and to let our kids play. There's one particular girlfriend that I would really like to invite over but there is no school today and that would mean that I would have her older children here too. Her older kids are just too rough and things easily escalate in a negative way when they are here.

I wonder how often I may have been invited to go somewhere but nobody wanted my kids there! Hmm. Probably pretty often. So many times when a persons kids are obnoxious I end up not really caring to have my friend around either. I don't know why, but no matter how I try that friendship usually ends up in the dust. I just cannot sustain a friendship with someone who lets their kids run rough shod all over my house, pulling out every toy and book imaginable, making other kids cry, then leaving without helping to clean things up. This girlfriend that I wanted to invite today is one of the rare women that I like in spite of her naughty kids. But today I have too much to do to deal with it, so they remain uninvited.

Sunday pastor preached a sermon on how to get and stay out of debt. He had five points that were just normal everyday practical points like keeeping track of everything you spend in a journal, and knowing what you owe and what you own. He said people think they own their cars and their houses but if they're making payments on them then they don't own them, the bank does. Therefore to take out a second mortgage on the house when you can barely make the first mortgage would not be the thing to do.

Anyway I said all that to say this. His sermon tapes were all bought out by the evening service and people still wanted more. Now doesn't that seem strange to you? I was sitting there thinking how incredibly basic this was and that it would probably be helpful to young kids starting out but not very helpful to older people because it's just common sense. Well obviously I was wrong. That sermon was in great demand!

We are having special meetings at our church with Dr. Jack Treiber from California some where. He is my all time favorite preacher. So last night I took the kids and went to hear him preach. An amazing man with an amazing way of delivering his sermons!

When I got home I put the kids to bed and colored my hair. I love the color it turned out but it did not cover the gray hair in my bangs! I'm bummed.

I went to a meeting at school for Anna Lise again yesterday. This time the special ed teacher was there and showed me what she had found through her testing of Anna Lise. The tests show that Anna Lise is at risk for problems with reading later on; not normal, not severly at risk, but at risk! So I wait for my trip to the pediatricians.

Now I have to go pack for tomorrow and get some laundry and cleaning done. Then on to the baking. Psst! I cheated! I bought my piecrusts! Don't tell anyone.
I asked Greg to buy them for me on his way home from work but he thought it was a waste of money so I just bought them with my money. I didn't feel like dealing with the mess today. I met a friend in the store and she raised her eyebrows at the piecrusts in my hands, but it's like I told her; I have nothing to prove. I know I can make my own crusts. I've been making them for years. I'm confident enough in my ability to make them that I have no problem buying them! So there!

Thanksgiving prayers

There's a couple of things I want to share with my readers today; just varied things I have found heard and read and found on the web. I just had to share this 4th graders politically correct report on the pilgrims to his fellow students. Here is his report:

The pilgrims came here seeking
freedom of you know what.
When they landed, they gave
thanks to you know who.
Because of them, we can worship
each Sunday, you know where.

I also found this amazing prayer by a Pastor in Kansas. Let me preface this prayer with saying I agree one hundred percent with everything this man said. Some of you who frequent my cousin's blog already know where I stand on these issues and will not be surprised that I have copied this prayer here. I also hope that by now anyone else who reads this also knows where I stand on these issues.

When Pastor Joe Wright was asked to open the new session of the Kansas State House, everyone was expecting the usual politically correct generalities, but what they heard instead was a stirring prayer, passionately calling our country to repentance and righteousness.

The response was immediate. Although a number of legislators walked out in protest during the prayer, after just six short weeks, Pastor Wrights Central Christian Church has logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only 47 were negative. The church is now receiving international requests for copies of his prayer from India, Africa, Korea and other countries. Commentator Paul Harvey read the prayer on his radio program and as a result, received a larger response from his listeners than any other program he has aired! The prayer reads as follows:

"Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask Your forgiveness and to seek Your direction and guidance. We know Your word says, 'Woe on those who call evil good', but that's exactly what we have done. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values. We confess that: We have ridiculed the absolute truth of Your Word and called it pluralism. We have worshiped other gods and called it multi-culturalism. We have endorsed perversion and called it an alternate lifestyle. We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery. We have neglected the needy and called it self-preservation. We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare. We have killed our unborn children and called it a choice. We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable. We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self-esteem. We have abused power and called it political savvy. We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition. We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression. We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment."

"Search us, O God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and set us free. Guide and bless these men and women who have been sent to direct us to the center of Your will. I ask it in the name of Your Son, the living Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen."

It is truly a shame that this country, founded on God, has come to this place of tolerance and acceptance of things that are against all the principles our forefathers worked so hard to establish.

Here are some thoughts from atheist Jim Naughton on Thanksgiving:

Thanksgiving is not a purely civic holiday like Memorial Day or Independence Day, although we are, in part, celebrating the fortitude of our Pilgrim forebears. Nor, like Christmas or Passover, does it come freighted with the content of a particular faith. Rather, Thanksgiving straddles these two categories; it is civic and religious. To paraphrase Jesus, Thanksgiving gives both to Caesar and to God. In doing so, it discomfits believer and unbeliever equally. For giving thanks assumes the existence of one (One?) who deserves our gratitude--anathema to atheists. But giving thanks as a nation assumes that we stand before God as citizens of a country, as well as members of a faith. And that should offend anyone who believes that salvation flows from the church and not from the state. Thanksgiving, in other words, assumes the existence of something that doesn't exist: an American faith. On these grounds, I suppose one could argue that this holiday violates the establishment clause of the Constitution. I leave that task for some particularly dogmatic member of Americans for the Separation of Church and State. What interests me is the ubiquity of gratitude, the understanding, even among witnessing atheists, that it is important to be grateful for our good fortune.

For me, the desire to give thanks is evidence, at a minimum, that human beings are innately religious. The theologian Karl Rahner wrote that there is a "God-shaped hole" in every one of us. With Rahner, I believe that it is God who put it there. You can take that argument or leave it. But if you leave it, help me to understand why we experience this particular species of gratitude. I'm not talking about the kind of gratitude we feel toward someone who has done us a favor. I mean the sort of global gratitude inspired by gifts we could not have known enough to ask for, or the kind we feel when matters beyond our control end well for us.

Hmm I had really never thought about what atheists think of Thanksgiving. It does seem like a complete paradox.

Last but not least is this little kids Thanksgiving prayer;

Thank thee, Lord
For all my many blessings,
thank thee, Lord.
I have bread,
thank thee, Lord.
for room and board.
thank thee, Lord.
for friends and family.
God takes such good care of me.
Amen

For their Thanksgiving, they "Play

For their Thanksgiving, they "Play Turtle", have chair fights, do circle dances and eat rice cakes.
Learn more here and here. Korea

In Canada:
Thanksgiving is a time for family and friends to get together and have a large meal and give thanks for all that we are thankful for. We do not celebrate it as much as our American neighbors. Often grandparents and relatives will come to visit because it is a long weekend. Thanksgiving is the second Monday of October. We usually eat turkey, mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie.

We’ve got our favorite Thanksgiving food and traditions on the brain. But what about other countries? Is Thanksgiving a purely American holiday?

Only a handful of other countries celebrate a day surrounding giving thanks for a plentiful harvest. Two countries that celebrate something that looks like the American Thanksgiving are Canada and Germany.

According to Web-holidays.com, the Canadian Thanksgiving is celebrated on the second Monday in October. Unlike the American tradition of remembering Pilgrims and settling in the New World, our northern neighbors give thanks for a successful harvest. The harvest season falls earlier in Canada compared to the United States due to the simple fact that Canada is further north.

The first formal Canadian Thanksgiving was held just over 40 years prior to the pilgrims landing in Massachusetts. An English explorer named Martin Frobisher had been trying to find a northern passage to the Orient. He did not succeed but instead established a settlement in what is now Canada and he celebrated a harvest feast.

During the American Revolution, Americans who remained loyal to England moved to Canada where they brought the customs and practices of the American Thanksgiving to Canada. There are many similarities between the two Thanksgivings such as the cornucopia and the pumpkin pie. Instead of the traditional U.S. turkey, Canadian Thanksgiving meals usually feature venison and waterfowl.

In 1957, Parliament announced that the second Monday in October would be “a day of general thanksgiving to almighty God for the bountiful harvest with which Canada has been blessed.”

According to Germanculture.com, the Germanic Erntedankfest ("harvest festival of thanks") is primarily a rural and a religious celebration. When it is celebrated in larger cities, it is usually part of a church service and not anything like the big traditional family holiday in the United States. Although it is celebrated locally and regionally, none of the German-speaking countries observe an official national Thanksgiving holiday on a particular day, as in Canada or the United States.

Erntedankfest is often celebrated on the first Sunday in October. This puts the German holiday closer to Canada’s Thanksgiving than to the United States’ on the fourth Thursday in November.

A typical Erntedankfest celebration is an all-day affair that begins with a service at 10 a.m. A parade is held at 2 p.m. and concludes with the presenting of the traditional "harvest crown" (Erntekrone). At 3 p.m. there's music, dancing and food inside and outside the church. A 6 p.m. evening service is followed by a lantern and torch parade and fireworks. The ceremonies end around 7 p.m.

Some aspects of the North American Thanksgiving celebration have caught on in Germany. Over the past few decades, turkey has become a popular dish. The bird is valued for its tender, juicy meat and is slowly becoming more popular than the more traditional goose on special occasions.

Holiday turkey may not be for everyone
By Nicole Spiridakis and Marisa Torrieri
Diamondback staff writers

Most Americans are initiated into the Thanksgiving tradition before preschool. Bedtime stories about pilgrims and Native Americans, the Macy's annual Macy's Day Parade with big, fat turkey floats bouncing across a TV screen and the smell of buttery stuffing simmering on the stove are just a few common memories.

Even campus students whose parents have spent some or most of their lives in other countries often assimilate the American holiday's traditions, and have adapted Thanksgiving to their own cultural or ethnic beliefs. And while most Americans might enjoy turkey, campus vegetarians will be cooking dishes such as pasta, tofu and rice instead of the traditional Thanksgiving Day fare.

Raymond Cheong, a freshman chemical engineering major, is a first-generation Chinese American whose family now lives in Columbia. Cheong said his family is just like its Howard County neighbors.

"We normally go to my aunt's and uncle's house for dinner of turkey and various other stuff, both American Thanksgiving food and Chinese food," Cheong said.

Nina Chio's family, which lives in Rockville, has eaten vegetarian Korean Thanksgiving cuisine for the past five years. One of her favorite traditional Korean dishes is "duk-guk," a sweet soup with rice cakes.

"It's chewy and sweet," said Chio, a senior neurophysics major.

As for the other Thanksgiving holiday traditions, Chio's mother, father and 16-year-old sister keep it simple.

"We just say grace," Chio said. "It's a family time, which is not very common since I live on campus."

But not everyone's family lives so close to campus.

For some students, such as Suzette Benitez, a senior criminology and criminal justice major from Puerto Rico, college life meant leaving behind close-knit family traditions.

"When I was back home, every year [Thanksgiving is] in a different house of the family ­ we have three turkeys, bowls of rice, all that. It's a very big family thing," Benitez said.

Benitez has not been to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving since fall 1994, and this year she will spend the holiday with her older brother, a law school student at George Mason University.

But for some students, turkey isn't a even a part of the Thanksgiving Day festivities. For vegetarians, Thanksgiving poses no more of a problem than any other day of the year in terms of preparing food. And for students of other nationalities, Thanksgiving Day is simply another day off.

"It's just another day of the year," said senior theater major and vegetarian James Samkubam.

Samkubam, who works at the Maryland Food Cooperative, is from Cameroon and does not celebrate the holiday. He said his weekend plans include cooking his favorite foods and studying.

"I just stay home. I like [Thanksgiving break] because I'm usually alone and it's quiet," Samkubam said.

Jessica Grandon, a sophomore psychology major who has not eaten red meat for six years, said her mother typically makes pasta for her Thanksgiving meal.

"I'm going to eat lots of veggies and macaroni and cheese," Grandon said. "My parents don't care. We usually have lots of food and the only thing that has meat in it is the turkey."

Vegetarians who want to eat a dish similar to the standard turkey served at Thanksgiving dinners have the option of consuming a tofu loaf prepared in the shape of a turkey, sold at many health food stores, or other tofu dishes.

Tofu, made from soybeans, is often used as a meat substitute by vegetarians. It is lower in fat and cholesterol than most meat products and provides a fair amount of protein.

"Tofu is what a lot of people substitute for turkey," said junior women's studies and psychology major Mandy O'Neill.

O'Neill, who said she doesn't eat much meat "and will probably eat less and less as time goes by," said a good friend who is a vegetarian, is planning to make a tofu dish for the holiday. Her friend also plans to make a Chinese dish because it is "interesting" and contains many vegetables, which she said are essential to a nutritious vegetarian diet.

Senior economics major Jimi Hyde, who is from Belize and also works at the Food Co-op, said he will probably prepare a tofu dish for Thanksgiving although he doesn't usually celebrate the holiday.

"I don't do anything personally for Thanksgiving, but I'll probably make tofu," Hyde said.

Both Samkubam and Hyde, who don't celebrate Thanksgiving in their native countries, said they wonder about the basis for the holiday.

"A lot of people don't know what the reasoning is behind it," Hyde said.

Samkubam said he felt sorry for the turkeys many Americans enjoy each November.

"In Cameroon, we have turkeys as pets and people don't kill them," said Samkubam. "I think it's a massacre of turkeys [in the U.S.]. I don't think people take it into account that they're alive."

All articles and materials contained herein are property of the Diamondback newspaper, copyright 1998. If you'd like to reprint or reuse them, please contact us. Thanks.

Santa's List

I cannot believe that Thanksgiving is practically upon us. Anna Lise only has school through Tuesday. This week is going to be incredibly busy. About 25 of us are renting a ranch house West of Corvallis for Thursday and Friday. It's just about 20 minutes from the coast so Thanksgiving afternoon my brothers and husband will be clamming. My sisters -in-law who live closer to the house are doing the two turkeys.

Interested in knowing what I'm bringing? Well let me tell you. I'm making 5 pies, sweet potatoes, jello salad, and ... ooops there is one more thing and I forgot. I'll have to call my sis-in-law and see if she remembers.

My mother-in-law leaves today. We had a very busy weekend; not so much work wise, just busy wise. Saturday morning Greeg went to the gun show and and Bucia took Anna Lise shopping. I was left here with Wally like every other day. I was so bummed. I called a girlfriend and arranged to go for coffee in the afternoon.

Then I got busy and cleaned the back bedrooms. When Greg got home I announced that I was going to meet my girlfriend. I told him I didn't care what he did or where he went but it had to involve Wally as I was going to take a break! To his credit he didn't have a problem with that. How could he? He'd spent the morning at the gun show!

I left early for my appointment to go to Toys R Us and make sure I had everything on my kids list for Christmas. I was Santa; making a list checking it twice... uh.. you get it I'm sure.

Anyone interested in my kids Christmas list? Here it is. Feel free to get ideas for your own kids or even for yourselves. Ahem! Here goes:

Wally
Buzz Light year
Little People Ramps Around Garage
Thomas the Train
any toy motorcycle
any muscle racer car
Road Rippers Lightening Blast cars
Legos
army jeep
toy soldiers
play chain saw
books about trains
wood puzzles

Anna Lise
My little pony Celebration castle
Bratz dolls
Barbie Cheerleader
Fur real kitten
Fisher Price Craft Binder
Shrinky Dinks maker
purse
books
umbrella
Disney Princess vanity set

That's the list that goes out to the family. Greg and I are getting the kids their own little suitcases, and Legos. Wally gets a magna doodle and Anna Lise an etcha sketch. I'm also getting play tools for Wally. Anna Lise's big gift is a bike. Wally doesn't get a big gift. He doesn't know the diff yet poor kid.

I still haven't gotten my living room furniture so I told Greg that the furniture could be our gift to each other. He wasn't too sure. Bummer indeed!

What's on your kids' list? Care to share? Hey, and while we're sharing, what are you doing for Thanksgiving? Fill us in!

The poor you have with you always

What is there about this season that makes me all nostalgic and even sad? Today my girlfriend called and she was crying. She had been in a big fight with her husband over finances and she was so sad. It so happened that she called me on my cell phone while I was driving to Toys R Us to make out my kids Christmas lists. My girlfriend was crying because they would basically have no Christmas this year and now she and her husband were fighting and the future looked so bleak.

It so happened that minutes before I got the call I had been sitting out at the end of my road waiting for traffic. My mother inlaw was ahead of me in her Lexus. In the back seat of the Lexus I could just see the blue bow of my daughters sticking over the seat. She was so excited because earlier she had gone to the mall with her grandmother and they had shopped for clothes for her. Now here she ws going to the theatre with grandma to see the Dr. Suess. movie.

Behind the Lexus was me in my Expedition. Somehow just sitting there it struck me how truly blessed we were. We live in opulent luxery compared to most of the world population. Do I take that for granted?

After the call I decided to stop in and visit my girlfriend who had called. I went in to find her husband gone and her sitting there in tears. This girlfriend is not nearly as well off financially as we are and it makes me sad to see her like this.
Her kids need so many things and my kids have everything.

While I'm trying to comfort her from across the room I hear the strains of music from the TV. It's singing, " Oh come all ye faithful," on some Christmas show. I felt like crying.

It's Christmas but for the majority of the world Christmas is an illusion; as unreal as a picture on a Christmas card. While I'm making out lists for my kids of toys they do not need, other peoples kids need food.

I enjoy an old fashioned Christmas every year complete with three "Christmas days," Christmas parties, listening to the singing Christmas tree, attending ornament exchanges with girl friends, going to Christmas Brunches with girlfriends, Christmas caroling, Christmas musicals at the church, days of baking cookies and pies, Christmas shopping, wine, fine restaurants, expensive gifts. The list goes on and on. The season is full of fun and laughter. My kitchens full of friends and good food. The coffee is always on because it's the season to be jolly.

Then there is my friend who is fighting with her husband. For them Christmas is a time of sadness, of barely getting by.

What right have I to enjoy my Courier and Ives Christmas while others suffer?
Many times we have adopted a family for Christmas. So far we haven't yet this year.

I wonder. Is it the choices we make that lands us in the spot we are today? Did I make better choices on who I married than my girlfriend? Did I spend my money more wisely than she? What did I do that she didn't? Or does it have nothing to do with that? Is it just the way the cards are shuffled? Is it Gods plan for our lives? Is it fair? Have I lived a life more deserving of good things than my girlfriend? I think not.

Then why? Why is one life blessed and another not?

"Have a holly jolly Christmas".

Back pain and IEP's

I've just been so busy today I haven't even been able to get on the computer. Shelly is still pregnant! sigh! I'm baking pumpkin pies and some cookies to carry us through the weekend. My back has been killing me all day. ! awoke inthe night to extreme pain and it's persisted all day, making it hard to get things done.

Anna Lise's IEP meeting went well. Hopefully we can get her on track now. They are going to cut her spelling words from 7 to three so she has more of a chance to get them right. The special ed teacher didn't show up which was a disappointment. I really wanted her to be involved in this meeting as Ihad many questions to ask. Anyway sounds like they're going to run Anna Lise through some sort of team there at school called SWAT. It's a more detailed evaluation of where Anna Lise stands academically. I've made an appointment with the pediatrician and they are going to work with the school and hopefully we can figure out what's wrong with her.

O.h. m.y. w.o.r.d. My mother in law just walked in from Seattle and I didn't even know she was coming! Gotta run!

Anna Lise

Anna Lise Jata

Anna Lise was born December 27,1996. She weighed 7lbs. 14oz. at birth. The pregnancy and delivery were practically without complication; the exception being that she was delivered via vacuum suction.

I began to notice there was something wrong with Anna Lise around the age of 2 years. She still was not speaking and she was barely eating. What food she did consume had to be entirely smooth in texture. She only drank milk. She had her first glass of apple juice at about 4 years old.

Along with her strange eating habits came chronic constipation. At four years of age she was still wearing pull ups to bed. She had bowel movements once a month and they were extremely painful. She would lay on the couch for several days before each bowel movement and moan with pain. She was taken to a urologist who recommended everything that was already tried: juice, mineral oil, suppositories, enemas, fiber, etc. He eventually put her on sorbitol; three teaspoons a day for the first dose and then increased by one teaspoon daily until we got results. Anna Lise went all the way up to 12 teaspoons before she had a bowel movement. She stayed at this dose for 6 months. Although she no longer needs sorbitol her eating and bowel problems persist.

At three and a half years of age we became very concerned about her speech. I was the only one who could understand her. I called Marylhurst for a speech evaluation and a lady was sent to our home to test Anna Lise. It was determined at that time that she did not need intervention. I strongly disagreed with this but was told that I needn't worry because our home environment was such that Anna Lise would not fall through the cracks.

When Anna Lise entered Kindergarten at 5 years old she still had had no speech intervention of any sort. I asked the school to evaluate her for speech problems and they never got around to it the entire year. I asked several times but got nowhere. I was told there were children who needed the services worse than she did. Her kindergarten teacher did not seem concerned. In fact, she told me she hadn't even noticed a speech problem.

One day in the classroom I heard my daughter ask the teacher if she could go the restroom. The teacher looked down at Anna Lise and at the paper she held in her hand and said, "Uh huh , that's very nice." I watched my daughter get tears in her eyes as she took her seat. I then told the teacher what Anna Lise was trying to say and of course she gave her permission to go the restroom. This is only one example of the many times I saw my daughter frustrated from being misunderstood.

The teacher and therapist couldn't see a problem but the other kids could easily see it. One day I was asked by a couple of little girls in her kindergarten class why Anna Lise talks funny. It seemed odd to me that the children knew it but the school didn't.

I finally found help through Anna Lise's CHIPs teacher in Kindergarten. She saw that Anna Lise was not keeping pace with her classmates and did her best to keep me abreast of what was happening.

Along with Anna Lise's speech problems came behavioral problems. When Anna Lise began her Kindergarten year she was a very aggressive child. She hit and kicked and punched other kids without regard to their pain and suffering. During story time she would crawl off the mat and scoot behind the teachers desk, or hide behind the wastebasket. By the end of the year these behaviors seemed to have disappeared. However, her behavior at home seemed to worsen.

Her frustration at life results in major fits of temper. If she can't hear a phonetic sound she will throw herself on the floor and flail her feet in the air yelling that she can't understand it. I have to move on to an entirely different activity before she will quiet down and even then it don't always work. Many times I lose her at this point and cannot get her back on track for the rest of the evening.

I have learned that it is better to pronounce the word for Anna Lise rather than have her phonetically sound it out. When she is reading and comes to a word she don't know I must quickly insert the correct word or she gives up. Her odd behaviors range from throwing herself on the floor to aggressively hitting and terrorizing her little brother. When she is in this mode I cannot reason with her.

I have tried to talk with her afterward about her behavior and it's as if she doesn't even know she was naughty. After one such time I was scolding her and she looked at me and said, "So was I good?" I couldn't believe it. I had just explained to her how unacceptable her behavior had been. I told her no, she was not good and she looked at me again and said, "But was I good?" It seemed like there was no comprehension there.

Anna Lise cannot handle any changes to her routine without acting out. When she has a friend over she gets uncontrollably loud and uncooperative. She keeps up a running stream of chatter and seemingly cannot help herself. She loves going to McDonald's but I don't take her there very often anymore because she cannot handle it emotionally. One of the last times I took her was with a friend of hers. The entire way she was yelling out the window at everything she saw. Everything was "poopy" and everybody was an "idiot". She does not use these words on a regular basis; only when she's in this hyper mode. No amount of threats from me could stop her behavior. It continued until we reached the restaurant.

I tried to talk to her before going in and her eyes were practically glazed over. It was like she wasn't even in there. While at McDonald's she was loud and aggressive, talking nonstop the entire meal. She spilled sweet and sour sauce all over her pants and tipped over her brothers Pepsi. We had to leave early as I could not stop the behavior. When we got home I sent her to her room and you could visibly see her wilt. She was so tired. It was like a totally different child. This hyperactive behavior is getting worse not better.

Many times she will scream the entire way down the street to our house after getting off the bus. I have discovered this is a release to her from holding it all in at school. She tells me it feels good to yell.

Many times when Anna Lise is yelling or crying she will tell me that she cannot stop. I noticed this inability to stop crying when she was a baby. As a toddler it did no good to tell her to stop. She absolutely couldn't. I thought she would outgrow it. So far she hasn't.

Anna Lise cannot tolerate tight clothing and everything scratches her. She told me one day after throwing a major fit getting dressed that she didn't want to wear those clothes because she couldn't "itch".

Her bedtime prayer is full of rituals that dare not be broken. She prays the same thing every night and at a certain point she stops. Then I am instructed to pray. Then she prays some more and motions to me when I am suppose to say, "In Jesus name". I dare not say Amen. That is her part. She has divided the entire prayer this way.

I saw her hit her grandmother with her book bag and kick her repeatedly when she arrived home from school one day. Her grandmother had made the mistake of meeting Anna Lise at the door. Anna Lise did not know she was here and was expecting me to open the door as usual. The change in the regular pattern of things was more than Anna Lise could handle. My mother-in-law was reduced to tears and was talking loudly to me; telling me how naughty and uncontrollable Anna Lise is. This excited Anna Lise and made the situation worse. I had to physically pull my child off of her grandmother and restrain her in her room until she calmed down. Now I always make sure I am at the door to greet her.

Anna Lise is content to play long hours by herself. She will setup her pony's on one couch, her Bratz dolls on another, and her Polly Pockets on still another. She will then turn the TV to Disney and play by herself for hours. If her brother comes into the room she flys at him kicking and hitting and screaming. But if left alone I have seen her play this way for close to 5 hours at one stretch. Even when her friends beg her to come play outside she cannot pull herself away. At those times she is completely focused and calm if left undisturbed.

I am frustrated at her behaviors and feel like I have nowhere to go. I have tried every form of discipline imaginable. Nothing works. I am hopeful that somewhere I will find help for Anna Lise. But as of today she remains a mystery to me.

Hope for my child

It's raining. That means the snow left on the ground will soon be melted. I wonder if we'll see any more snow this year. Shelly is still at home. She didn't go into work today. I think she plans on starting her maternity leave. I'm not sure. But I do know if she isn't planning on it she should be! She has a doctors appointment this afternoon and I can't wait to hear what the doctor has to say. The contractions continue but they are still not hard enough to get that baby here!

I have a meeting with the people at school today to determine Anna Lise's IEP for the year. I'm hoping we can get some clear answers on what's wrong. I've spent my morning on the phone with a gilrfriend whose oldest son has some brain damage from birth. She was sharing her frusterations with me. You know, I think the worse thing about these kind of kids is that a parent feels like it's their fault that the child isn't behaving.

I have mixed feelings about all this. My girlfriends son is bad enough that you can tell from looking at him that somethings not right. He's not really retarded in the old fashioned sense of the word; just lax muscle control and academic learning disabilities. But with him everyone knows there's a problem.

Whereas with Anna Lise it's hard to see there's anything wrong. I should be glad about that and I am to a large degree but on the other hand because she behaves so normally at school and church no body sees the problems I see. They don't realize that she is holding herself together until she can get home and vent. Therefore it sounds like I am making a mountain out of a molehill. Maybe I am. But let me tell you that molehill looks pretty big when you have to deal with her on a daily basis.

I've been doing some research on her and I think I may be getting some answers. I'm going to video tape her in one of her uncontrollable times and show it to her pediatrician. I'm almost done with a lengthy paper on her problems from birth to now. I want things documented. It helps when I try to talk to her therapists and such.

Well I better run. Wally has dumped mens cologne all over and the smell is sickeningly sweet.

Snow baby

We now have a good half inch or more of snow. My daughter called and she is in some form of labor whether real or not we do not do. She works out on Kruise Way and her boss is taking her to the doctor. The doctor wants to see her before sending her to the hopsital. Thank God for my Expedition. I hate driving in the snow. My first job when the call comes willbe to place all these kids at other sitters! Gotta go put supper in the crock pot just in case!

To blog or not to blog

Many times in the last couple months I have almost quit blogging. I knew when I began that my ideas and thoughts and beliefs were far from normal. But I never expected the backlash of e-mail and even phone calls that have been perpetuated by this blogging idea of mine. All I wanted to do is find a corner to voice my thoughts. It turns out that the way I think is too different for the normal run of people.

Hey, I know I'm blunt and tactless, and, as my cousin put it, crass. I try not to be, but I am a very opinionated person. I keep those opinions quite tempered in real life I believe. But here I vent and in venting people are finding out exactly how I think without the sugar coating. They can't swallow the pill.

Aother reason why I have considered stopping is that I never get a chance to write a well thought out entry. Many times I'll post an entry and realize I have about a dozen dangling thoughts within that one post, all of which could have made an entry by themselves if I would only have the time to develope the thought.

Sometimes the misunderstandings are a direct result of me throwing a thought in the midst of my writings and then leaving it there, never finishing what I meant to say or why I threw that in there to begin with.

When I come to my computer to write I am almost never alone. I usuallly try to start out that way but it doesn't take long for the kids to realize that I'm otherwise occupied and come up here demanding attention. One thing that blogging has shown me quite clearly is that I cannot go back to college until the kids are quite a bit older. There is no way I would have the time or peace of mind to form coherent thoughts and ideas sufficient enough to make a paper worthy of a grade.

I'm also frusterated with the time it takes. If I didn't love to write I would have quit soon after I began. But I do. I love writing! Which brings about more frusteration because I can't stand writing something only to discover it has no cohesion and is full of fragmented ideas.

I think if I was more "middle winged" and more modern in my thinking my blog entrys would be more palpable to the average blog reader. But I am not. I remain weird and unconformed. I stand alone in most of my ideas. Not that I care it's just that others seem to care mightily.

So maybe soon I will close the door on this weblog and go back to being an island unto myself. I stuck my neck out. I got my feet wet. I now know that I am just plain weird! The world is not ready for me. I may just have to admit defeat and retreat!

The Edwardian Period

I was born in the wrong era. I know that for a fact. Everything I find lovely and appealing about life is found in another era of time. If I could choose a time in history to have been born it would have been in the Edwardian period. Now those people knew how to live life to it's fullest.

Of course, it goes without saying that I would have been among the rich. The Edwardian period was not a good time to be poor. I realize it's never a good time to be poor but the social classes of that era had a greater division between the poor and the rich then about any other time in British history. The poor were very, very poor, and the rich were very, very rich.

The women were very curvacious. They're models were six feet tall and not at all thin. The one thing I would not have liked was the corset. I hate wearing anything tight. That would not have been a good thing. The women changed dresses five or six times a day! They were not allowed to eat any meal in the dress they had worn to the previous one! Ladies maids were everywhere. As the lady of the house I would have nothing to do but sip tea and entertain. Oh yeah, the ardous task of figuring out the seating arrangements for the evenings dinner would also fall into my hands. Such entertaining and fine wine as I would have!

I would wear long flowing dresses and big poofs under my hair to make it all puffy. I would ride in carriages and in the winter I would have my own horse drawn sleigh. All my food would be prepared by a renowned chef and served on silver platters. My children would be tutored in their own home. I would get a nap every day. I would... ahhh.. the things I would do!

Yes, I'm fully aware that for me to enjoy these luxeries there would have to be many servants working for me. I don't really have a problem with that. You see, I would pay my servants well so they really wouldn't mind.

I'm going to admit something here that you all may find a little disconcerting. I don't think slavery was such a bad idea. It was just how the slaves were treated that was so bad. Basically the slaves had it better in the employment of a kind master than they did once they were liberated and left to their own devices. If slavery could have been handled better; I mean without all the beatings and seperation of families and long working hours it could actually be a good thing. But then maybe without all that it wouldn't have been slavery?

Anyway I feel the same way about the working poor in the Edwardian period. Many jobs were created by the upper classes' desire to live high. Again if they were treated properly and given respect due a human I see nothing wrong with the great divide between the two classes. It's unrealistic to expect that there will never be poor among us. That's life. I don't think that the poor should be allowed to live without a roof over their head and food in their belly. That's just wrong. But to have a difference in social class is necessary to make things flow, and at no time was this more true than the early 1900's in Britain.

Ok now that I've said my piece and revealed how truly terrible I am inside I will add this. If you follow the link you can take a test that will show exactly what your position would have been in the Edwardian period based on your gender and your fathers occupation. After all my big ideas it turns out that I would have been a mere servant in the employ of the upper crust. Here is who I really would have been if I would have been born back then.

You'll be in Service!
- A Snapshot of your life as it might have been in 1905

Education
You go to elementary school where you learn cookery and housework and occasionally a little arithmetic, history and geography although this is thought to be unimportant for girls.

Career Prospects
You go into service, working extremely long hours. You leave the job when you marry, but you supplement the family income by doing unskilled temporary work whenever you can get it.

Leisure Time
You escape when you can to meet friends at the music hall or in pubs.

Living Conditions
You're one of two servants working in a new villa on the outskirts of a city. You spend much of the time on your own in the house, working 14 hour days. When you marry and leave the house, you live in one gloomy room in a run-down house with your husband, children, your mother, father and brother. You share one smelly latrine between several families.

Marital Relations
You marry at the age of 25.

Who cares? Thats just a stupid test. I would rise above my fathers occupation and become a true high society lady. I still wish I would have been living in Britain between 1901 and 1910 or thereabouts!

Tough love

My husband and I don't always see eye to eye. That's no new thing. Most marriages have the same problem. But this time the disagreement involves what I consider to be practically life and death.

Greg has always been big on tough love. I have not. Before Shelly left home at 17 years old Greg sat her down and told her in no uncertain terms that if she left right then he would consider that she was in rebellion and he would in no way help her out. Her smart comment coming from her vast life experience was, "Fine, I don't want your help. I want to be an adult and totally on my own."

Greg's answer to that was, "Okay, but the door only swings one way. You walk through that door and it will never swing back for you." Shelly loudly declared that was precisely how she wanted it to be and no matter how I pleaded with her to realize that things were tough out there she would see it no other way.

The door swung open and she left that morning. True to his word, Greg has never allowed the door to swing the other way for her since then. Oh sure she can come visit but she cannot ever move back home. There have been times in the past four years that Shelly has cried and begged to come home but Greg always reminds her that this is the choice she made.

Well she's no longer begging to come home what with a husband of her own and a baby on the way but she is in dire straits. Her husband is laid off and she is in so much pain from the baby practically falling out of her, that she can scarecly bear it. The doctor wants her to quit work and ordered her on bedrest for the weekend. She refuses to quit work because they will be short $300.00 to pay the bills if she can't get the last check due her in November.

She spent the weekend crying. Greg has helped her out financially a few times since she's been on her own but this time he says he will not help. He says maybe if she ends up in a shelter somewhere she will learn that life isn't handed to her on a silver platter. He says she has a husband now and they are a seperate family and if Jared could take off a week to go hunting right after he was laid off then it's no problem of his that there isn't enough money to pay the rent.

While I see the logic I just can't watch Shelly in so much pain and so stressed over the possibility of losing their apartment. What is it about a mother's love? One of my male friends told me last night that he can easily see what Greg is saying and that's exactly how he will be with his daughters. They are now only 7 and 3. How can men be so calloused? Is it really tough love? Or is it just plain lack of love?

Is there a mother anywhere in this broad earth that could sit and watch her heavily pregnant daughter be turned into the streets days before she is to give birth? How can a man let his head dictate all his decisions. What may be an incredible learning experience for Shelly is also almost inhuman. Greg only sees the growth that he thinks would happen in Shellys life if she were left to struggle through this on her own. I say let her grow some other time, not now, with a full term baby in her womb.

Although I understand the tough love advocates my heart would never let me go that route. And while Greg understands that my heart is hurting over my daughter his head will never let his heart dictate his decisions.

Is tough love always the best? Doesn't there come a time when just plain love needs to rule? How much do we leave our kids to fight their own battles? When is it time to step in and time to step out?

I don't know. Maybe you do.

Saturdays menu

It's a rainy weekend, perfect for the job I have in store. This weekend I will be nose deep in reading. I have decided to aggressively research Anna Lise's problems. I have a stack of books a mile thick to read; books on Aspergers syndrome, dyslexia, the slow learner, and children with speech problems. Somewhere hidden in the dusty shelves of the library or somewhere in the wide open space of cyber space, somewhere, there's an answer. This mother will find it.

Yesterday I bought some grapevine and sconce type shelves and made arrangements for both sides of that lovely fruit picture. The grapevine and grapes make it look superbly rich. Each arrangement, including the cost of the shelves, cost me $16.00. Can you imagine what it would have cost to buy those arrangements made up? I also saved mega bucks on the sconces because I bought them at one of my favorite store, Big Lots. It has the best prices! So altogether that wall arrangement has cost me $136.00.

I don't have much time today to write on this. It seems the laundry has just piled up partly because of Gregs hunting stuff. He dumps on me a weeks worth of laundry when he gets home. So much of it is bulky stuff that has to be washed one or two pieces at a time.

And then there's a lot to do just because it's Saturday. If I don't have everything under control around here on Saturday, then Sunday becomes a night mare.

I need to run out today and buy Anna Lise a dress. She has postively nothing to wear to church. Gregs mom is ordering her some holiday type dresses from Lands End but I need dresses for her now! I also need to buy Greg a shirt. His birthday is Monday and he needs dress shirts so badly it isn't funny. I saw some beautiful ones at Mervins. I just need to get over there now!

There is always so much to do! One wonders how anyone can ever say they are bored! It just is not in my vocabulary. Someday though I really would like to experience boredom just to see what it's like.

The American Nightmare

Shelly went to the doctor this evening for a regular weekly check up. When she entered the office the doctor asked her how she was doing. She started to tell him she was in severe pain and could hardly walk but then broke down in tears. She called me from work several times yesterday almost crying. She was complaining of pain and pressure in the pelvis.

When Shelly started crying at the docter he tried to soothe her and assured her that he would check and see if he could alleviate the pain a little. What he found was a huge surprise.

Shelly was dilated to a three and 100% effaced. The babies head was an a inch from crowning. The doctor was in disbelief. He said you usually don't see the head that low unless the mother is in active labor. Shelly was having mild contractions in his office.

The doctor gave her tylenol with codiene and sent her home. She's still working full time. Her husband just got laid off and when she goes on maternity leave she only gets 66% of her pay. So she can't afford to stay home even though the doctor feels she should. Soooo ... she's going to work in the morning with the babies head practically hanging out!

Needless to say, I'm sleeping with the phone next to my bed! Poor kids. I don't know why rent and everything has to be so high. Kids can't even make it nowadays. Their rent is $716.00 a month and her car payment is $165.00. Car insurance is $120.00 a month and then they've got their utilities and gas and food still to pay.

Right now Shelly is only making eight something an hour. Jared is making nothing! Sounds like he was out all day from seven this morning walking the streets and bussing around trying to find a job. We help them out as much as we can but we're still raising babies ourselves! Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to experience my married daughter and her baby without being hampered by my little ones. It's like I can't enjoy the entire grandmother experience because I'm still a mom to very young children.

When Shelly gets back from maternity leave she'll receive a raise. She don't know how much yet because the Corporate headquarters hasn't okayed her position and subsequent pay. I guess that happens at the first of the year.

Her bi-weekly check is around $500.00. It's not hard to do the math and discover there will be no money for Januarys rent if Jared don't find a job. Shelly only brings home a thousand a month as it is. In December she will be bringing home 66% of that! Poor Jared is feeling so badly over this. I just feel so sorry for those kids. It just seems like it shouldn't be so hard for young people to make a go of things. I mean after the babys born there's diapers and formula on top of everything. She's going to nurse the baby for at least the first 6 weeks during her maternity leave.

It always seems like stuff like this hits right over the holidays. When the city is alive with the sound of shoppers and ringing bells, and everywhere there's that holiday feel in the air it's just sad to know that there are those among us who are barely making ends meet. At least Jared and Shelly have a roof over their heads for another month! One has to wonder what happend to the American Dream! It's more like an American nightmare for the unemployed!

When Shelly told me that Jared has been walking to find a job (they only have one car which Shelly needs) I thought of a song that used to be popular in the seventies. I don't know how many remember the song "Living on a Free Food Ticket"? Well here it is. It's just so sad and yet heart warming at the same time.

Living On a Free Food Ticket

Living on a free food ticket;
Water in the milk from the hole in the roof
Where the rain came through,
What can you do, what can you do?
Tears from your little sister,
Crying cause she doesn't have a dress without a patch
for the party to go.
Oh but you know
That she'll get by cause she's..

Chorous:
livin' in the love a common people
Smiles from the heart of a family man
Daddys gonna by you a dream to cling to,
Mamas gonna love you just as best as she can, she can!

It's a good thing you don't have a bus fair,
It would fall through the hole inyour pocket
and you'd lose it in the snow on the ground
walkin' through town to find a job,
tryin' to keep your feet warm
but the hole in your shoe let's the snow come through
and it chills you to the bone.
ya better go home, where it's warm and you can.. (Chorous)

Livin" on dreams aint easy,
But the closer the knit, the tighter the fit
and the chills stay away.
Ya take them astride for family pride.
Ya know that faith is the whole foundation.
With a whole lot of love and a warm contemplation
And the voices of prayer,
Making you strong the way you belong
cause you're... (Chorous)

THE END

I know somehow they'll make it. At least they still have the love of family and friends. In that they are rich!

A family reunion

Greg is home! I'm so happy! The week long odyssey is over! And no he didn't get an elk! Poor man. He never does. There were 16 men in his group and only one man actually got one. Greg says that man was messing around camp after everyone else had already hit the woods. At about 10:00 am he decided to join the others in the hunt. So he gets in his truck and barely starts down the dirt road when two elk cross in front of him. They cross the road, go up a little incline and just stand there. He fires and gets one of them. Of course the others hardly thought this was fair! It sure does away with the old adage of the early bird getting the worm!

Greg walked into the kitchen just as I had finished cooking dinner. The dinner table was loud and lively as everyone tried telling all their stories at one time. We finally decided to listen to the kids and save our talking until later. So after the kids were done eating and Anna Lise had told every little insignificant story she could think of I sat them down to watch Quest for Camelot while Greg and I visited over our dinner of stuffed peppers and ice tea.

There were many things to tell. Four of my nephews and neices had been in a severe car accident since he left. Thankfully no one was killed. My four year old nephew broke both legs and my 18 yr old niece was knocked unconscience. She now needs surgery on a broken nose, broken eye socket bone, and displaced teeth and jaw.

My daughter Shelly had bought a new car. And I had bought a new picture for the upstairs livng room. Let's just stop right there! You guys this picture is awsome! My living room has walls painted in a soft yellow and blood red accents throughout. The bulk of the furniture is black leather and I have a red chair with a huge ottoman as accent pieces. The end tables have lamps, bowls of fruit and vases of sticks and fruit, candles, and sort of old world pieces on them; old books and a clock and such.

So anyway I went to a Home Interior party Monday night and there was this gorgeous picture on display. It had a brownish black frame with a table loaded with fruit and an old water basin or gourd on it. The background was... you guessed it .. goldish yellow with blood red draperies hung around and over the tables edge. It was a must have. I bought it on sale for $104.00. It was cash and carry! Let me tell you about the grapes on it. They are etched in gold and hang lusciously over the tables edge in purple and bronze and green colors! It's to die for it's so gorgeous! It's perfect for hanging above the living room couch!

Now back to the news. We had finalized Thanksgiving plans while he was gone and I had quit a babysitting job. Then of course was all the news about what the kids and I had done and what our friends had been up to. Greg told of his adventures in the woods from an adult perspective. He had already told them to the kids but now I got to hear the real nitty gritty of what transpired.

As I write this the stories are told and the excitement as abated. Everyone is asleep but me and I'm heading into the living room to watch The Batchlor, while seated under my lovely new picture!

Traditional Marriage Roles

Let's talk about marriage. Shall we? Or maybe more to the point, traditional roles for spouses verses the modern role.

First bear in mind that my husband and I are a little older than the average reader of this blog. We're on the cusp of a time when nobody thought about roles. They just did what they had to do to survive.

I was born in 1960 to a very Conservative Mennonite family with strong German influences. Greg was born in 1957 to a very Orthodox Catholic family with strong Polish influences. The two of us were wed and you have two very traditional individuals with very traditional values.

I do all the housework, laundry, and basic care of the kids. Greg is the sole bread winner and takes care of all bills and investments, all grocery shoppping, and all the repairs and remodel work around here. Together we take care of the yards, which includes, pruning fruit trees, making wood, chipping most of our own bark dust, spraying the orchard trees, weeding, mowing, growing blueberries,and relandscaping after a major rennovation.

The mental, emotional and spiritual needs of the kids are also met by both of us. And it goes without saying that the needs of the marriage are met by both of us.

I think where my readers are struggling is not in the division of roles so much as what is included within those roles. I know that most women no longer hold to the traditional housewife role. I do and that in itself is enough to mark our family as way behind the times.

Gregs mother did all the cooking, cleaning, quilting, sewing, canning , baking, cleaning... everything that I do. Is it any wonder that Greg did not get married until he was thirty-one? He was looking for someone who embodied all those traditional roles, someone who could keep him in the lifestyle he was accustomed. By then it was 1989 and there weren't many women out there that could fill that role or were willing to fill it.

Enter Tammy; next to the oldest of nine children, taught in all the ways of running a household and never giving a thought through all her growing up years of having a career other than home and family. The match was made in heaven.

Statistics still bear out that women carry the brunt of the housework even in this enlightened age where both parents have their careers. But because I still cling to traditional values I am doing more than the average women does in her home. I am not stating this as a put down to others or as setting myself up as better than others. I am simply stating a fact.

Who among you all are still canning their own food? Who among you bake their own bread, cookies, bars and pies. Who makes their childrens animal crackers and snacks from scratch? Who among you still darn their families socks or sew? Who still makes quilts and comforters? Who has never had pizza or any other food delivered to their door? Who does all or most of the schooling of the kids? Who still changes bedding from winter to summer, turning out feather quilts to air before summer storage? Who still hangs clothes on the line?(periodically)Who still irons? Who goes out and buys huge cuts of meat on sale to grind their own hamburger so their family has better quality meat? Who still uses cloth diapers on their baby without having diaper service? Who still cooks three square meals a day? Who makes all their own soups never opening a can? Who still makes their own macaroni and cheese without buying Kraft? Who grows their own apples and makes their own cider? Who's child runs to the juicer for fresh orange juice?

I could go on and on. But I'm sure you get the picture. It's because of what I am including in my wifely duties that it appears like I carry the brunt of everything. It's also because of what I include that I feel like I carry the brunt of it.

So I guess I've said all that to say this; This kind of division of labor works for our family, but like all people I am prone to whining and complaining and my readers are good listeners with a lot of good advice. Thus you find me groaning under the load some times.

Does this make sense to you all? Or do you still think I'm off the mark? Okay tell me like it is. I can handle it. I'm just trying to clear up why things appear lopsided around here. Maybe I just made things worse. :)

My one wish

Today I must clean house. Of course there's no school cause of Veterans Day but I still had to babysit the three kids that come at five -thirty. There's just so much work to do around here that I don't know where to begin.

So I' think I'll read a book instead. Oh yeah, thats a good idea. All that would accomplish is a messier house. Why is it that as soon as I get on the computer or sit down to read, or answer the phone, the kids choose that time to be naughty!?

I really have to get something done around here. Greg comes home tomorrow night and I want things all cleaned up. Tonight I'm going to our monthly Ladies Night Out at the church, and this morning I have to go grocery shopping so I can't procrastinate with the housework for long.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to live a mans life; have clean clothes magically appear in your drawers, sit down to eat every night never having had to cook, finishing dinner and retiring to the living room for some wind down time never worrying about cleaning up the dishes.

I mean how easy is there life? They go to bed at night knowing they can sleep through till morning without having to get up with crying babies.

Their shower and toilet are always magically sparkling and the sink where they shave is always cleaned. They never stop to wonder where the whiskers went that they left in the sink the day before. They never have to make their bed or change the sheets. They never have to dust their own computer! Everything is done for them.

I wonder. Does a man have any idea how much it would cost to pay someone to do all that we women do? And to think the misguided souls think that we have it easy. We get to just stay home and take care of the kids. Most guys never think past that.

They never stop to wonder how those fresh cookies ended up in the cookie jar or how that loaf of baked bread ended up all crunchy crusted on the counter. Do they know it takes three hours to make a loaf of bread from start to finish? No. They only know that it takes about 10 minutes to eat that said loaf another 10 to empty the cookie jar.

Today if I had but one wish it would be to be a man! Aaaaahhh. That, my friends, would be the life!

An atheists prayer

OH MY GOD....

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods.

What majestic trees!
What powerful rivers!
What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7 foot grizzly charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw
that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, and
the bear was even closer.

He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw
the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising
his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out: "Oh my God!..."

Time stopped.
The bear froze
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky:

"You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist,
and even credit creation to a cosmic accident.

Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a
believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me
to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could
you make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice.

The light went out.
The sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together
and bowed his head and spoke:

"Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty
through Christ our Lord. Amen

Life

This past weekend was a good one. I was a little at loose ends because of Greg being gone. Nothing seems right with him not here. I had no idea how badly I would miss him. I tried to stay busy so the time wouldn't drag. Fortunately there were some things I had really wanted to do this weekend.

The kids and I went to the Harvest Bazzar at the church. I bought two beautiful lamps that matched the decor of Shellys living room. They were only five bucks a piece. Most of the time I just sat and visited with friends. It's nice to visit in an unhurried way once in a while. The kids played with all their little friends and stuffed themselves with hotdogs and coke.

Afterwards we went to Shellys place. Her mother in law was there helping her put up the nursery border. A girlfriend had given Shelly a brand new crib and changing table so Shelly was itching to get things all in place. Her nursery is gorgeous. It's done in pink and lavender butterflys. The furniture is white. She even packed her diaper bag for the hospital. We're all soooo excited for this little babe. It's going to be a wonderful Christmas.

Sunday I attended morning and evening church. A family of six sisters gave a concert in the evening. They are some friends of ours. It was lovely. I ended up hanging around visiting afterward for about an hour and a half. Needless to say it was way past the kids bedtime. Listening to those sisters sing made me miss singing with my own four sisters. I've often wondered what we would sound like if we would have kept singing into adulthood. But alas, my sisters are scattered across the United States! Several of these girls that sang last night are married but the farthest they live away is Idaho.

Sunday afternoon Shelly and the kids and I went out for lunch. I came home and took a much needed nap and folded some laundry. I'm not sleeping well since Gregs been gone. I got about 2 hours of sleep last night, in part because I drank a cup of coffee at church around 9 pm. That was dumb! But the other part is because of a head cold and ... well... because my honey isn't in bed with me.

Well I've got 5 kids waiting to get dressed and eat and have their heads combed. I better quit rambling. Before I do anything I have to take my migraine medicine. Every time I miss my sleep I can count on a migraine. Oh and did I tell you my asthmas been acting up for the last several days? yeah, well, it has. Lifes a little uncomfortable right now.

A mothers prayer

Four little feet are trusting me
To show them how to walk.
Two little tounges depend on me
To teach them how to talk.

Grant me patience and forbearance;
The wisdom of a king.
Help me not to whine and worry,
O're every little thing.

Teach me to number all my days;
To bask in childhood joys.
So fleeting are these early years,
Of storytime and toys.

Through daily reading of Gods word,
And bedtimes whispered prayer;
May all I do and say each day,
Point them to heaven fair.

In hurried rush and stress of life;
Help me to slow the pace,
So not one tiny soul be lost,
And trampled in the race.

Dear God I pray that you will bless,
These children that I raise.
May everything that's said and done,
Be only for your praise!

by- Tammy Jata

Book of the Bible Quiz

I found a great quiz for a Sunday afternoon. Mine is a little hard to read but read it anyway. It turned out amazingly correct! i'm sure anyone who knows me well will agree!

You are Romans.


Which book of the Bible are you?
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The deeper part of mothering

It's Friday night.

Anybody with half a life is out having fun tonight.

This mother is not.

She is sitting at her computer- worried.

I am worried about Anna lise.

Something isn't right.

How much do I trust the schools? How much do I confide in them?

How much do I trust the pediatrician? How much do I confide in him?

Is there really anything wrong?

Why does my gut tell me that somethings amiss?

Why can't others see it?

Am I all alone?

Greg is worried but he's more at a loss yet than I am.

Why don't kids come with an instruction manuel?

The things that are wrong with Anna Lise are not glaringly obvious.

It's the subtle things--

the things a mother notices and ponders in her heart.

Somethings wrong.

Somewhere... out there.. . lies the answer.

Do I have what it takes to pursue this?

Do I trust my intuitions enough to believe in my ability to carry this through?

If I don't help her--

if I don't find the wherewithal to carry through-

will she forever be lost in a world of her own?

Portrait of an old lady

Okay. so you always wondered what I looked like. Well there's is my picture. That's me in the post below. So many people have been asking for a pic that I decided it was time to post one.

Leave me alone, already! A girl can dream can't she? Anyway the part that is true is the test result. I am a very classy lady! Never doubt it!

Last night was Shelly's baby shower. I hurt so badly afterward it took me forever to get to sleep. I have three herniated disks in my lower back and a pelvis that is all torked out from carrying an 11 pound little moose baby in utereo. This combined with tendonitis in my feet and arthritis in my knees makes days like yesterday more than hard to get through. I laid in bed last night and felt every single muscle in my body contracting in pain.

I had done the underneath type cleaning the day before so yesterday was vacuuming and picking up last minute stuff. Oh yeah, and running to Home Depot to get some touch up paint to paint over some of Wallys artwork on the family room wall.

I had one lovely surprise yesterday. I discovered that the Dollar Store has helium ballooons for- you guessed it- a dollar! I bought the cake at Albertsons because I was too lazy to run to Costco. I sell myself short. I wasn't too lazy. I was tired and sick from this cold. I had no strength to run to Costco. I could have made a prettier cake myself than the Albertson one, but oh well, it saved me lots of time and energy.

We had 18 women at the party and Shelly got lots of beautiful things. She was thrilled. So was I. (It's less for mom to buy)

Gregs gone hunting so I had to manage the party and games while taking care of the kids. They just get so hyper when company comes. I walked into the living room at one point only to find the kids going round and round in the recliner and all the party ladies watching aghast. Well they didn't say they were aghast but who wouldn't be? The worst part was that as they swiveled around I noticed that the wood base of the recliner had not been dusted. I grabbed the chair and put it in the correct position ( the one that showed the base the least) and marched the kids to their rooms.

Wally hit another little girl. He accidently kicked a lady in the knee as a result of hurling himself off the foot stool. Twice in the middle of the games we were playing I had to stop and take him potty. He had diarrhea like water from drinking too much apple juice. Let me just say it was quite a fiasco to try and manage the party and the kids. I'm sure everyone left thinking what little brats I had. The party was a lot of fun though. I just love parties!

Now I have a free day ahead of me. The house is clean and I only have a little bit of laundry to do. I feel like playing. Most likely though, I will end up taking advantage of this rare time by delving deeper in to some hidden closet or drawer and doing some serious organizing. What can I say? I can't help myself. I walk a thin line between sanity and insanity! Knowing the corners are clean helps keep me on the sanity side of things!

Vincent

Note: This is a follow up to yesterdays entry. I decided to make a new entry for it so it becomes immediatly obvious.

I found the words to Starry Starry Night. Now tell me if this doesn't sound like some gay lover. I can only hope I'm wrong. But it's just weird that a man would feel like this for another man!

Vincent (Starry, Starry Night)

Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and grey
Look out on a summer's day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills
Sketch the trees and daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills
In colours on the snowy linen land

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen
They did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now

Starry, starry night
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds and violet haze
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue
Colours changing hue
Morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain
Are soothed beneath the artists' loving hand

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen
They did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now

For they could not love you
But still your love was true
And when no hope was left inside
On that starry, starry night
You took your life as lovers often do
But I could have told you Vincent
This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you

Like the strangers that you've met
The ragged men in ragged clothes
The silver thorn of bloody rose
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow

Now I think I know
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen
They're not listening still
Perhaps they never will...

Everything I don't know about music

Browsing through some weblogs this morning I noticed how many people write about music. It's funny how we all have our ideas about what is good and what isn't. Very few of us actually have talent enough to sing ourselves but we definitely know what we like or don't like.

You won't find much about music on my site. The reason is simple. I don't listen to music. Much of the music one hears is on the radio to and from work or in the office at work. Since I'm always home I don't have that opportunity.

But.. I bet there's a lot of music that I know that you don't. Can you sing the theme song to Sesame Street? Thought not. And what about Elmos World? Who's Elmo you ask? Well, dear you better get a life. And what about Fruit Salad by the Wiggles? And speaking of the Wiggles, how many of their songs have you heard? If you haven't heard them you are out of the loop my friend.
The Wiggles come on TV at least three times a day. They are in.

I'm just not big on the popular songs of today. How can I be? I don't even know what they are. I listened to music some in my early twenties but thats the last I've really paid attention to what people out there are singing. Islands In the Stream" was one of my favorites. There was also some song about the blue bayou that I loved.

There's also another song that alludes me just now. It went something like, pictures hung in empty halls about some guy named Vincent I believe. You know now that I'm writing this I 'm amazed at how little I can recall. Whoever sang that haunting Vincent song was a wonderful singer. I used to like all of his songs. Now I have no idea what his name even was.

On the rare chance that I do listen to music these days I've discovered that I like soft rock. That angers me. I hate, loathe, despise, rock music. It wasn't until recently I discovered that a lot of the music that does catch my ear is soft rock. Don't even ask what songs I like because I couldn't tell you. I just know when they play that I like them.

I hate country music about as much as hard rock! It's so depressing. Again I used to listen to alot of country in the early 80's. I liked trucker songs and Kenny Rogers. Now I can't stand to listen to Kenny Rogers; too many bad memories associated with his songs. It was a bad time in my life.

Music sets my mood and I hate to have my feelings determined by whats playing at the time. I feel nearly suicidal when I listen to country, so I never do. A lot of bloggers have the cd's they are listening to posted on their side bar. Not me. Here's why. My cd player has in it a cd with a collection of old Disney songs on it and two Christmas cd's. The other two slots remain empty.

Thats right. I'm listening to Christmas music; my all time favorite. My favorite Christmas song is, "Oh holy Night." Gospel is definetly a favorite of mine but I rarely even listen to it.

Okay now that I have shown you all how totally "music illiterate" I am I will close lest you think I'm from another planet!

Put me to Bed

I knew the minute the alarm went off at 5:00 am that this was not going to be my day! I was so tired I could hardly get up. I had gotten to bed late as a result of the Blazer game the evening before. We had a wonderful time last night. We ate dinner at this new little mexican dive in town and then on to the game! It was so nice to be out with my husband but I'm paying the piper today!

That's the thing about never going anywhere; when you do your body shuts down, not knowing quite how to handle the break in routine. That's where I'm at this morning! That breakdown!

I made pancakes for breakfast only to discover there was not enough syrup. So all 5 kids put just a taste on theirs and we called it good. Wally didn't eat anything. They were just to dry for him! Poor kid!

Then the one little girl I babysit had accidentally brought her little sisters jeans to wear to school. They absolutley wouldn't fit. I tried everything Anna Lise owned practically and finally found something to fit her. They're only 6 months apart in age but Anna Lise is much smaller than the other girl.

I finally got them out the door to school and then concentrated on the other kid who leaves an hour later. I had accidently dribbled syrup in her hair while reaching over her at the breakfast table. She's three and didn't know the diff but it took quite some combing and washing to get that syrup out. Finally she was out the door and Wally and I left to pick up some paint for Shelly.

I get to the counter and pay for my paint. As I'm paying Wally is screaming in the cart that he wants to eat there. I'm trying to quiet him down but this results in louder screams. I quickly pay and get out of there only to realize I've forgotten the liner to the paint tray. Back in I go, all the way to the back of the store.

I'm finally out of there and in the car. I head over to Shellys. Then it hits me. I've left the pan and rollers and brushes at home. So back home I go to get those. I stopped and got Wally some hash browns and pop at Jack-in-the-box. He's finally quiet! I drop everything off at Shellys and come home. We're finally back in the nice warm house with all the breakfast dishes waiting.

Wally wants his pop. Where is his pop? Oh. It's still out in the car. Back out I go to get it. I hand it to him in the kitchen thinking he would take a drink and set it on the counter. Oh no. That would be too easy. Instead he trys to take the lid off and dumps it all over the kitchen floor. Now I'm cleaning up sticky pop and none too happy let me tell you.

It's always the little things that push me over the edge. The entire time we are in the car Wallys going, Yook mom Yook, a car, Yook mom, Mooooomm! yuk a back hoe. Whats that mom? Fire truck? I'm scared. I hide fire truck. Yook mom. Moooom whats that? Dump truck? Dump truck. I'm scared fire truck. Dump... Oh yuk mom Yuuuuuuk! Mail man! Mail man come to our house?Mooooommmm!

I'm telling you all I'm losing it! When I'm tired and spacey like I am today I just want to scream. Oh and get this. I'm coming down with a cold. Aaaand.. my throat is starting to hurt. I have no time in my life for surgery! End of story. I don not want a tonsilectomy. But if I tell the doc thats exactly what I'll get.

I called the church and had them put me on the prayer chain. I just can't face another surgery! It would be my fifth and there is no way I'm going through it again!

If only there was hope of this day getting better! Somehow I have to make it until the boys go down for a nap and then I'm going down. I'm getting an unsightly cold sore too. That in itself is enough to ruin a day!

Okay. Now that I've whined on and on I'll quit!

In a nutshell

it's windy and cold
i'm tired
the house is a mess
wallys sleeping
anna lise is playing my little pony in her room
mr dribble is packing to go hunting
need to do phonics with daughter
need to vacumm
it snowed/rained this morning
sermon was on getting to know God
wrote notes to the pastors wife all through the service :-(
wally bit girl in class
had pot roast for dinner
had two candy bars after
got a girl to babysit for blazer game tomorrow
shelly stopped by
every stitch of daughters clothing is cleaned/pressed and ready for school week
blocks/legos all over living room floor
gonna try to cut wallys hair by myself this week
I need a haircut but don't have the money
need to take pumpkins off front porch
need to sleep!