Chat It Up, Chatty.
We here at Toads-In-the-Hole live life on the bleeding edge of technology, what with our blazingly-fast “cablenet” connection, our version 4.2 of iTunes, and our several “gigs” of computerage. The power of these innovations enables us to read class notes on the computer monitor with nearly the ease and flexibility of actual printed out sheets, make it possible to watch short clips at nearly 20% of the size and clarity of the television screen sitting all the way out in the parlor, and, when we’re tired of all the studying, allow us to relax via interactive games in which we (and now the “we” just means “Joel”) perform repetitive actions for no actual gain.
But by far the greatest application of our computer’s “gigs” is communication. We at Toads proudly use the latest and greatest iteration of email, the google-powered “gmail” which is so awesome and powerful that you have to be invited by a gmail user to use it. Yep, more emailing power than money can buy, is what we’ve got right here.
And every few months they’re adding features! First the ads on the side bar, which are tailored to the content of your messages. For instance, an email from my buddy Stac, a formerly inactive Army reservist who was just called up from his civilian job helping war-torn countries clear leftover minefields to go over to Iraq to help America win the War on Terror (the irony would be sharper if he was going to actually be laying landmines, but as far as I can tell his work has to do with helping the Iraqi government govern) was filled with offers to buy “Special Forces Equipment” and this exciting invitation from “Lieutenant X” for “The Terrifying 'Decide-Dominate-And-Destroy' Shocking Secret Banned By Congress That Can Transform ANY MAN (Or Woman) Into A Walking, Breathing Weapon Of Mass Destruction." Thanks gmail!
The newest feature of gmail is live chat. Now when you login to gmail, you can instantly see who in your contact list is also logged in, and instantly break into their life with a chipper instant message. In fact, if you hover over an email in your inbox for longer than .07 seconds, gmail will provide a helpful pop-up window inviting you to start up an instant conversation. I discovered this function while hovering over a message from the U.S. Department of Education reminding me to fill out my FAFSA so I can score some more unsubsidized education loans. I immediately began a chat:
Me: Yo USDE, whazzup?
Me: U seen teh new nelly video?
Me: It’s 2kool :.)
Me: oops I ment :) ROFL!
Me: WTF USDE?
Me: So, I hear that changing the student aid formula eliminated education grants to 1.2 million low-income college students last year, and that this year you’re jacking up the interest rates on all loans, amounting to a $12.7 billion cut of educational spending.
Me: That’ll really make it tough for a lot of Americans to keep up with the changing global economy that requires increasing technical expertise, huh? Didn't the president say something about the American worker still being competitive in that speech he made recently?
Me: Awright USDE, GTG, CU LATR!
So, if you’d like to take advantage of all that gmail has to offer, AND you know my email address, send me a message and I’ll invite you. Soon any man (or woman) in foldedspaceland will be Transformed Into Walking, Breathing Weapons Of Mass Destruction!