I sat down at eleven o'clock this morning and wrote for five hours, working on the first draft of the second story for my writing class. I strove to give the thing a plot. Too many of my stories aren't stories; they're character sketches. I can create a character — Lord knows y'all give me rich source material! — but I have difficulty creating a compelling plot.
I'm not going to claim that I've created a compelling plot yet, but at least this story has one.
I've posted Single Image here if any of you are willing to provide feedback, positive or negative. I'm not sensitive about this kind of thing; you're not going to hurt my feelings. (I'm my own harshest critic in this regard. You should see how I completely disemboweled my first story after the first draft, retaining only a hint of the central theme.)
Remember: this is only a first draft. There are many revisions yet to come. The style is intentionally choppy. You all know how verbose, how loquacious I can be. That's my normal style. The style in this story is forced. Does it work? I don't know. You tell me.
What works? What doesn't work? Is there any sense of foreboding? What's too obvious? What isn't obvious enough? Is the end too abrupt? Does the beginning drag?
I'm looking for any feedback I can get, taking advantage of this weblog's built-in audience in an attempt to get as much criticism as possible.
On 26 October 2003 (06:34 PM), J.D. Roth said:
On 26 October 2003 (10:42 PM), dowingba said:
On 27 October 2003 (08:01 AM), Jeff said:
On 27 October 2003 (08:26 AM), J.D. said:
On 27 October 2003 (09:58 AM), mac said:
On 03 November 2003 (12:38 PM), Lynn said:
On 03 November 2003 (05:07 PM), Aurora said:
On this day at foldedspace.org
2006 — More on the Milwaukie-Gladstone Trolley Trail In which Kris and I attend a community meeting to learn more about the Trolley Trail.
2005 — The Dewey Dumbcimal System In which I attempt (and fail) to organize my nonfiction library according to the Dewey Decimal system.
2004 — Only Joking In which I tell some of my favorite jokes, and you tell some of yours.