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29 August 2004 — Peeing Off the Back Porch (7)

I grew up in the country.

One of the benefits of this, for me and my three brothers, was that we could pee anywhere we wanted. If we got the urge — no matter where we were — we'd just pull down our pants and take a whizz.

To the best of my knowledge, this is a luxury not enjoyed by city boys.

Best of all, we could pee off the back porch. Even if the bathroom were free, even if the bathroom were closer, even if there were no reason to pee off the back porch, we'd often choose to do so anyhow.

There was something particularly pleasing aboout the long, delicate arcs of urine we sent into the back lawn. Our favrorite target was the utility pole by the back door.

Sometimes we'd have pissing contests. We'd stand side-by-side and pee together: several long, delicate arcs of urine sent into the back lawn. Dad always won, of course: he had more advanced equipment.

It's been a long time since I was able to pee off the back porch. In college, there were people who did so, but they generally got in trouble with Campus Safety. In Canby, peeing off the back porch would probably have been noticed by the neighbors.

Now, though &mdash now, I am free to pee off the back porch again!

Ah — life in the country...

Comments
On 30 August 2004 (06:51 AM), Jeff said:

1. It's just not as cute when you are 35.

2. I will be sure to avoid the area around your back porch next time I visit.


On 30 August 2004 (08:00 AM), Dana said:
One of the benefits of this, for me and my three brothers, was that we could pee anywhere we wanted. If we got the urge -- no matter where we were -- we'd just pull down our pants and take a whizz.

You do realize that indoor plumbing is one of the halmarks of civilization, right? And people wonder why I want to be a woman...

=)


On 30 August 2004 (08:11 AM), Kris said:

Darling, let me reiterate: You are NOT FREE to pee off our back porch. Gross! The mingling odors of pipe tobacco, cat spray, and human urine will surely rid us of any potential relationships with our neighbors.


On 31 August 2004 (10:07 AM), Joel said:

Kris: "The mingling odors of pipe tobacco, cat spray, and human urine will surely rid us of any potential relationships with our neighbors."

I laugh, then I pause and think, and laugh again.


On 31 August 2004 (11:23 AM), Anonymous said:

As an undergraduate, a friend of mine and I made it a point to sneak onto the roof of every building on campus and pee off the top of the building. There's nothing quite like the feeling of standing at the top of a 4 or 5 story building, hanging things off the side and lettin' er rip. Look out below!

Given our occassional degree of intoxication, it's amazing we didn't fall off the top of the buildings. Seemed a good idea at the time.


On 31 August 2004 (11:40 AM), Aimee said:

Do I even need to remind anyone about Joel's impromptu compost privy? Complete with rationalization: "Nitrogen is good for the soil!"


On 01 September 2004 (02:52 PM), Dana said:

Good lord, Aimee. Ick.

I remember having to actively convince JD to bring along more than one change of clothing for a week-long geek/camping trip a few years back. He finally relented. It didn't stop the whole 'Fire in the Hole' routine every time he cut the cheese, though.

Sigh.


On 01 September 2004 (02:58 PM), J.D. said:

I am man, hear me roar!


On 01 September 2004 (03:12 PM), Dana said:

How about "You are Man, smell you a mile off!"?


On 21 July 2005 (01:11 PM), skippy said:

i wish i was aloud to do that


On 21 July 2005 (01:12 PM), skippy said:

i wish i was aloud to do that


On 30 August 2005 (11:16 AM), Kyle said:

Ah yes, outdoor pissing. One of the great joys of life. I truly love letting it loost outside. I try to pee everywhere. I love being a man...


On this day at foldedspace.org

2006A Girl Named Wayne   In which spammers are dumb.

2005Moved In   In which I finally feel moved in (after being in the house for fifteen months!). In which I photograph bees.

2003Musical Interlude   In which we see the symphony by the river. In which Harrison explains about rainbows. In which I am fond of Eros Ramazzotti.

2002pinched nerve   in which my shoulder hurts


Comments
On 03 April 2008 (03:13 AM), KF said:

I love to pee outside, too. I have been peeing outside ever since I was 12 years old. Behind the barn, in the barn, behind the garage, off the porch or deck, underneath bridges & off overpasses---you name it---I have done it. IT IS GREAT!!!! I love those yellow arcs of urine.


On 02 August 2008 (06:45 PM), KF said:

It is me again. I love getting on my computer and checking out places to pee outside. I think outside peeing should be mandatory. It saves water and you do not have to flush. I love pulling out my penis and whizzing away outside in the grass, or bushes, or by the side of the garage.


On 06 August 2008 (12:03 PM), Troy said:

I am with you on peeing outside. Its probably the only thing that I do that is considered Earth friendly.


On 06 August 2008 (12:53 PM), Troy said:

I also found this site--which pretty much sums up my thoughts on peeing outside: www.peeoutside.org


On 17 September 2008 (05:56 PM), KF said:

It is me yet again. I went to a work associate's party over Labor Day weekend, lots of beer, and the peeing outsidw was great. If people had to go, they just went to a desolate area and whipped it out and peed. His driveway was probably very urine soaked that night.


On 24 September 2008 (08:32 AM), ben said:

I pee outside all the time when i can. I pee in parks on the trees. Guys have it easy because we can take are part out without pulling are pants down.


On 24 September 2008 (08:07 PM), KF said:

Ben, why did you post the same thing 4 times. I understand you pee outside all the time. So do I, I just did not post it 4 times. I go outside my front door and water the lawn, with my penis, all the time after I have had a full night of beer.