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21 March 2005 — Brushless Shave Cream

Prologue
I have a bad habit of putting off my haircuts. I'm not sure why I do this since I love having my hair cut — it's a very sensual experience — but I often go six weeks or longer between haircuts.

I prefer old-fashioned barber shops, the kinds with gossipy old men standing around telling stories about hunting and fishing and the kid who burned down the old barn last Saturday.

Choose from a selection of shaving cream and shaving sets for your hair care needs. We can remove hair too

Story
I've been going to the same barber shop in Canby all my life. This shop added a new barber recently. Before Christmas, when he cut my hair for the first time, I was pleased that he wasn't too talkative. I may enjoy the shop conversation, but I don't necessarily want to participate in it.

Toward the end of the cut, the new barber raised my chin and examined my neck. "You have trouble shaving, don't you?" he said. I nodded. "I thought so. Ingrown hairs. I have the same trouble. You know, what you need is the brushless shave cream that I use. It's great stuff. Gives you the smoothest, closest shave and no ingrown hairs. We don't have any here — I used to get it in at my old place — but I'll have some for you next time."

I left the shop and promptly forgot about the conversation. In mid-January, I had my hair cut at the place in Oak Grove. (It's an old-fashioned shop, too, with three gruff old guys cutting hair while they watch Perry Mason and ESPN — they flip channels during commercials. On the day I had my hair cut, Perry was exposing a man who had driven his car backward to take miles off the odometer, and ESPN was showing a cross-country bike race.)

Last week, I went back to Canby to have my hair cut. I drew the new guy again. (At these types of shops, you take whichever barber comes up, or you can defer your place in line to have a specific fellow cut your hair.) He didn't ask me how I wanted my hair cut, so I started to tell him: "Clipper cut on the side with a four, but longer on top, just—"

"I know," he said. "I remember. I cut it last time, didn't I?"

"Er, yeah," I said. No barber ever remembers how to cut my hair, even after they've done it a zillion times. I figure they have far too many clients to remember how some anonymous guy likes his hair done.

The old guy cut my hair, and I listened to the talk about Dr. Kevorkian, recent land annexations in town, and the Iditarod. (One of the barbers, Howard, is a big fan of the Iditarod.) My mind entered a Happy Place.

Eventually, my barber started talking. "So, I got some of that brushless shave cream in," he said.

"What?" I said.

He explained. "Last time you were in here, I told you about this brushless shave cream. You have trouble shaving." He gently ran his finger under my chin. "Your skin gets irritated. You're shaving too close, and you cut the whiskers off below the skin. I ordered this brushless shave cream for you."

"Oh. Since the last time I was in, I've been trying to use an electric shaver," I said. "But it doesn't really work."

My barber stopped cutting my hair. He was horrified. "You don't want to use one of those. They're awful. They chew your skin up. No, you need this stuff."

He walked to the back room and came back with a big pink tub. He unscrewed the cap and held the tub for me to sniff. It smelled medicinal, almost like Icy-Hot.

"This stuff is great," he said. He took a dab of it and rubbed it on my neck. "You don't need a lot. Just a thin film. You don't want to lather it up. If you need a lather, use a bar of soap. You apply a thin film of this and it makes your skin extra smooth. Feel it."

I felt it.

"Now stand up," he said, removing the hair cloak (what are those things called, anyhow?). I stood and followed him to a mirror. He lifted my chin and pointed. "Look at those hairs. See how they're standing on end? You want to leave this stuff on for ten seconds, thirty seconds, even longer. The longer you leave it on, the more your hairs will stand up, the closer shave you'll get."

He motioned for me to sit back down so that he could finish the haircut.

"You don't have to buy this," he said. "And if you do buy it, and you don't like it, just bring it back. I'll give you your money back."

I was dumbfounded by the whole exchange.

I left the man a large tip. I would have tipped him even more but (a) he didn't trim my ear-hair and (b) the blade with which he shaved the back of my neck was rough, so that it felt like he was scraping it with sandpaper.

Epilogue
"I'll see you next month," my barber said as I put on my jacket.

"Yeah," I said, but then I caught myself. "Actually, I guess not. Every April, I spend a weekend in Bend with some guys. I get my hair cut there every year."

The other barbers perked up. I was the only customer in the shop by now. "Where do you get your hair cut?" asked Howard. He and I have had this conversation before, but apparently he'd forgotten.

"At the Metropolitan," I said. "I love that place. Also, the guy who used to own this place — Jerry — he works there."

Howard beamed. He went to his drawer and dug out a newspaper clipping from the Bend Bulletin. It was an article about Jerry and another guy. They'd left The Metropolitan and opened their own barber shop one street over. Their trick is that they serve you beer while they cut your hair.

"That's going to be rough," I said. "Now I'll have to choose. I love the Metropolitan, but Jerry's been cutting my hair since I was a boy. My family once traded a parrot to him for a hundred haircuts."

"No shit!" said Howard. "That was you? Jerry loved that bird." I'd already told him this at least once, possibly twice, and yet it was as if it were new information. Still, I don't hold it against him. I know how my memory is.

I'll bet the new barber will remember every detail of the conversation, though...

Comments
On 21 March 2005 (09:13 AM), Rich R said:

I use a Kiehl's product. It is also a brushless cream. I started using it over a year ago (along with sereral other Kiehl's products) and it has changed my face. I get great close results with almost no irritation.


On 22 March 2005 (07:55 AM), mac said:

So, does the stuff work j.d.? If it does, i'm going to the barber in Canby on Monday after school!


On 22 March 2005 (07:59 AM), jenefer said:

I'll be waiting for a review of the shaving before I get some for Bob and Adam. Don't forget.


On 22 March 2005 (08:02 AM), J.D. said:

I'm still testing it, Mackenzie.

I've shaved with it twice now. The first time, I had a thick ten-day's beard that I thinned first with the beard trimmer. I shaved after showering. I applied the brushless shave cream in a thin layer, and it made my face tingle just a little. I let it rest for half a minute, then shaved. It worked very well on the firmer parts of my face, but less well on my neck. My neck still felt raw during and just after shaving. When I'd finished, I applied a second thin coat of the stuff as an after-shave.

The neck irritation faded with time and seemed to leave no lasting blemish. The shave was smooth. Very smooth.

I shaved again after 36 hours, which is very quick for me. (Because shaving bothers my skin, I often shave only once a week. Twice a week is a quick turnaround.) This time, I suffered more irritation, especially on the neck. I would have suffered more irritation with any other cream, though.

Tomorrow morning will be 48 hours since my last shave, and I'll try the stuff again. Based on its performance so far, it may actually do the trick. I like it. I'm not completely sold yet, but I could be after a few more uses.


On 23 March 2005 (03:07 AM), molliwogg said:

Does anyone know if this product is appropriate for a lady's more delicate areas?


On this day at foldedspace.org

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2006How to Get Me to Exercise and to Eat Right   In which a customer pats my belly.

2004Sunny Sunday   In which spring is here and I take photographs.

2002Non-Competitive Competition   In which I look for non-competitive games that Kris might like to play.