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29 April 2005 — Why Star Wars Sucks (33)

"They were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Naturally they became heroes." — Prologue, Star Wars novelization by George Lucas

Star Trek is about to go dormant, a decade after descending into gross suckage. I can't help but hope that it hibernates for decades. It likely won't. The Star Wars franchise once descended into dormancy after a disappointing third film; when it revived fifteen years later, things had become even worse. (Admittedly, the new Battlestar Galactica kicks ass, but that's only because it's a re-imagining of the original concept; if it had picked up where the old show left off, it wouldn't have worked.)

But why does Star Wars suck now? What happened? Where did it go wrong?

I wrote this three years ago during my rant on the last film:

As we left the theater, Pam wondered aloud if George Lucas had even watched the first three films before making the last two. He seems to have forgotten what Star Wars was about. Or perhaps changed his mind.
Now that I've read the script and the graphic novel for the upcoming Star Wars Episode Three: Revenge of the Sith, I've begun to think more on where the franchise failed.

The Role of Our Heroes
In the original Star Wars, Han and Luke and Leia were accidental heroes. They were small players on a big stage. The galaxy in which they lived was vast, and full of wonder.

Luke, for example, was a simple moisture farmer on a backwater planet. He had no future. His dreams of leaving to join "The Academy" were constantly dashed.

LUKE: It just isn't fair. Oh, Biggs is right. I'm never gonna get out of here!
THREEPIO: Is there anything I might do to help?
LUKE: Well, not unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest, or teleport me off this rock!
THREEPIO: I don't think so, sir. I'm only a droid and not very knowledgeable about such things. Not on this planet, anyways. As a matter of fact, I'm not even sure which planet I'm on.
LUKE: Well, if there's a bright center to the universe, you're on the planet that it's farthest from.
THREEPIO: I see, sir.

Now we're asked to believe that all along Luke was some crown prince, destined for greatness. That Chewbacca and Yoda are pals. (Wait and see, wait and see.) Instead of being bit players in a galactic struggle — iconic everymen (and everywomen) — our heroes are actually larger-than-life bluebloods upon whom the fate of the galaxy has always rested.

Give me a break.

Focus Shift
The first film (or fourth, depending on how you count) focused on the periphery of this galactic struggle. The second film shifted more to the center, though it still felt as if our heroes were only small players. The third film, however, crossed the line: our heroes were in the thick of it, key to the galaxy's freedom. And with the prequel trilogy, we're no longer able to see the periphery at all. Lucas has forgotten about it. (Or discarded it.)

And with it, he's forgotten about fun.

Would it be fun to watch a movie about the United States Senate debating trade sanctions? Of course not. Would it be fun to watch a movie about a Kennedy or a Bush kid coming to power? I don't think so. Would it be fun to watch a movie about a poor kid who becomes a karate champion? You know it would. ("Wax on, wax off, Daniel-san!")

Over the past twenty years, Lucas has gone from a young, creative artist to a wealthy movie mogul. His realm of experience has changed, and I think that shows in his filmmaking. If you skim early drafts of The Star Wars, which once included material from all of the films in the series, it's clear that Lucas has shifted from the realm of the common to the realm of elite. What was once important to him, no longer is. He's writing from his experience, and his experience is one of wealth and comfort.

Scale
In the prequels, Lucas has changed the scale of the films. The galaxy seems small. Our heroes play central, pivotal roles in the titanic (but nonsensical) political struggles.

One of the wonderful things about the original Star Wars universe was the diversity of life and civilization, the awesome scale of the story. The galaxy seemed vast. No wonder our heroes were small players; there were simply too many other people for them to be anything else. There were always new and bizarre aliens to discover, strange new worlds to explore. (To be fair, Lucas has continued to entertain with unique worlds; I loved the water world Kamino in Attack of the Clones.)

In the early years, the Star Wars story was continued in novelizations and comic books. Authors like Alan Dean Foster and Brian Daley seemed to grasp the fundamental concept of a vast universe. The comics most certainly got it. These supplementary texts effectively conveyed the sense of scale present in the first film.

The prequels, however, make the galaxy seem like a small and petty place.

Prettification
The original trilogy — or at least the first two-thirds of it — was dirty and gritty. That was part of its charm. The Millennium Falcon didn't work. Luke's garage was a mess (and whoa! so was the jawa's sandcrawler). The base on the ice planet Hoth was in scattered disarray. Yoda was a slovenly housekeeper. The Death Star was mostly polish and chrome, but even it had a stinky trash compactor.

The space ships and the ground vehicles looked real. One got the feeling they might have been produced on a planet called Detroit, and that with time they'd gradually fallen apart. Many of the ships and vehicles we saw had outlived their warranties.

Compare that with the new trilogy. Everything is bright, shiny and new. Only Watto's shop on Tattooine bares any sort of resemblance to the old messes we're used to. (Oh — and the pods for the pod-race; they're fairly junky.) All of the space ships we see are sparkly clean. Maybe that's a cost of moving from models to computer animation.

The water world Kamino (to which Kenobi flies to learn about clone troopers) is fascinating, but I have to wonder: don't things on this planet rust? Isn't there seaweed of some sort? Or is everything just washed clean by the perpetual rain? And, on a larger scale, do all of the planets have oxygen-based atmospheres?

De-Mystification
In the original trilogy — especially the first film — The Force was a mysterious mystical mental power. It was a rare gift, difficult to harness.

The prequel trilogy has made a mockery of The Force. Does anyone say "May the Force be with you?" Of course not. George Lucas has forgotten about it. All he remembers is the Jedi mind trick, that Jedi can jump really very high, and that the Force can let bad Jedi shoot lightning out of their fingertips.

Yes, the Force was a silly quasi-religious structure. So what? It was fun. It doesn't even exist in the prequel trilogy. It's been replaced by midichlorians and magic.

QUI-GON : With your permission, my Master. I have encountered a vergence in the Force.
YODA : A vergence, you say?
MACE WINDU : Located around a person?
QUI-GON : A boy... his cells have the highest concentration of midi-chlorians I have seen in a life form. It is possible he was conceived by the midi-chlorians.
MACE WINDU : You're referring to the prophesy of the one who will bring balance to the Force...you believe it's this boy??
QUI-GON : I don't presume...
YODA : But you do! Revealed your opinion is.
QUI-GON : I request the boy be tested.

I guarantee you, that scene would never have found its way into the first trilogy. (In fact, I'll go so far as to say that if The Phantom Menace had been made first, there never would have been a sequel of any sort. The film would have bombed because of stuff like that.)

It may be that George Lucas has lost religion during the past twenty years. Maybe he's an atheist now, and doesn't want to encourage any sort of religious thought, and so has shifted the Force from "hocus-pocus religion" (as Han would call it) to a pseudo-scientific explanation. I'd rather have the hocus-pocus religion, and so would you.

Bad Acting
Natalie Portman is not a bad actress, but George Lucas' direction sure makes her seem like one.

Ewan McGregor is not a bad actor, but George Lucas' direction sure makes him seem like one.

Even Hayden Christiansen isn't that bad an actor, but it's unbelievable that he was asked to carry this prequel trilogy on his shoulders. To make matters worse, George Lucas seems to have chosen to print the worst possible reading of his every line.

Marketing
Do I really need to go into this? Have you ever seen a larger marketing juggernaut? It makes me wonder if the this prequel trilogy is simply a six-hour long advertisement meant to get consumers to buy toys, tacos, and dark chocolate M&Ms.

The appearance of the first Ewok marked the end of Star Wars as we know it.

Nonsensical Political Struggles
Here's a quiz:

1) What is the plot of The Phantom Menace?
2) What is the plot of Attack of the Clones?
3) Who are the good guys in each of these films? Who are the bad guys? Why?

The first question is moderately easy. The bad guys are the (gasp) Trade Federation. They've blockaded Naboo for some reason (do we ever know why? does it matter?).

(And let me rant about this for a moment: how stupid is it that the "blockade" is simply an equatorial band of ships? A band of ships that may even be in stationary orbit above the queen's palace? Pretty damn stupid, I say. Even stupider is the fact that when our heroes try to escape the planet, they blast off right into the blockade instead of, say, heading toward the polar regions in order to elude the known enemy. Dumb.)

The second question, however: I defy you to answer the second question. (Harry Knowles once mounted a spirited, and earnest, attempt to do so, but only confused me more. He seemed to miss the irony that the plot actually needed explaining, and that it took him several hundred words to do so. Inadequately.)

Here's a second quiz:

1) What is the plot of A New Hope?
2) What is the plot of The Empire Strikes Back?
3) What is the plot of Return of the Jedi?

Hmmm. Suddenly it seems obvious that the prequels lack a...

Loss of Wonder
The fundamental problem with the prequel trilogy is that they no longer impart a sense of wonder.

The first Star Wars films were filled with wonder: the aliens in the cantina, the lumbering Star Destroyers, the awesome power of the Death Star, the Imperial Walkers storming the base on the ice planet Hoth, the cloud city of Bespin, and even the speeder race across the forest moon of Endor.

The first two films amazed because they imparted a sense of wonder. Our heroes were small, but they're actions took place on a vast an awesome stage.

Compare this to the eye-sore that is the climax of Attack of the Clones. Can you follow what's happening? Of course not. Nobody can. It's an orgasm of gratuitous digital effects. There are hundreds, or thousands, or hundreds of thousands, of objects on screen at once. There's nothing to latch onto.

My heart broke for every dead X-Wing pilot in the first film. When Porkins flamed out, I cared. I cared because the battle was kept on a small scale, an identifiable scale. There's no wonder involved in an all-out fight between a gajillion clone troopers and whoever it is they're fighting. (I can't even remember, which is a bad, bad sign.)

Another example: I want to be awed by the vast Asimovian city-world of Coruscant, but I can't. It's an ocean of skyscrapers and painful-to-watch aerial highways. It's nothing but a cornucopia of digital effects. It doesn't give me a sense of awe; it makes me depressed.

What Might Have Been
For several years, I have maintained (and I continue to maintain) that the ideal Star Wars episode one was actually Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. It would be child's play to retcon that film so that it occurred in the Star Wars mythos. It would fit perfectly.

But there are scores of other possibilities that would have worked well. Any half-way literate Star Wars fan could have constructed a better prequel trilogy than what Lucas has produced. My heart aches to consider what might have been.

Conclusion
Is there hope for Star Wars? I think there may be. But if a final trilogy is going to be made, it oughtn't be done for many yeas. A decade maybe. Yes, I know George Lucas is old, but so what? The less he's involved the better, in my opinion. I think it's important that the stories come from his mind, that he provide the basis for the screenplay, but the best thing that could be done for the franchise now is for Lucas to take a back seat. Let others take the helm.

Despite all of these complaints, despite the fact the current state of Star Wars sucks, the fact remains that I will go see Revenge of the Sith in the theaters. My geek friends and I have discussed boycotting the film on principle, but ultimately I'm going to lose this moral battle. And maybe that's the only thing that matters. (The one saving grace is this: my expectations for this film could not possibly be any lower; it's as if it cannot help but exceed them.)

The kids I know have begun to love love Star Wars. Harrison and Emma, for example, have now seen the entire original trilogy. They love it. They play Star Wars all the time, exactly like we used to do. I hope they don't see the prequel trilogy for many years. Let them enjoy this sense of wonder while they can.

Postscript
It's still possible to produce Star Wars material that maintains the feeling of the original trilogy. It happens all the time. Books, comics, and video games all tap into this feeling now and again. For example, the game Jedi Outcast, which I obsessed over several years ago, did an outstanding job of putting the player in a galaxy that felt like the one from the original trilogy. It's possible, but not from the mind of George Lucas.

Links
My memories as part of the Star Wars generation
Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace script
78 Reasons to Hate Star Wars Episode One (as if you needed any more)
Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones script
64 Reasons to Hate Star Wars Episode Two (as if you needed any more)
My review of Attack of the Clones
Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith script (plot summary)

Comments
On 29 April 2005 (10:58 AM), dowingba said:

Plot of Episode 2: Chancellor Palpatine, the Lord of the Sith, secretly builds a clone army and creates a war to secure his place as supreme emporer of the republic. Anakin marries Padme, starts to turn to the dark side.

What is so complicated about that?

And the one thing I love about ALL of the star wars films, is the "lived-in" feel of the universe. As you describe above, how things look worn and used. Same in the new trilogy as it is in the old. Not sure what you're problem is, here. CG has nothing to do with the lack of used-ness of the ships and stuff, because there is no lack.

I'm really sorry to say, but you seem to be falling into that ever growing camp that (at least subconsciously) believes:

A) CG is evil.
B) New is evil.

The old Star Wars films are awesome. I've watched them a bazillion times. The new ones are different, and awesome. Many people complain that the ships' styles are too different. Yeah, they are ships built during a time of peace (there hasn't been a full scale war in THOUSANDS OF YEARS), built for looks, much like cars nowadays. In the old trilogy, we're seeing ships and vehicles built for war, like jeeps and hummers nowadays. The Deathstar is a giant war machine.

I didn't much like the new Yoda puppet in Ep1, but the CG Yoda in Ep2 (which was based on the Empire puppet) is perfect.

Lucas does know what he's doing. He's dedicated his entire life to these movies, trust me he hasn't forgotten about the original trilogy. The whole point of the prequels is to better explain the original movies. It's backstory, much like the appendices in any given Tolkien book.

Now, maybe someone like me, who loves reading the appendices in Tolkien books, is who these films are tailored toward. I don't know. But I'm definitely a fan.

The acting, while not great, doesn't bother me. The acting in the original trilogy was just as bad, in my opinion. There are some definite weak spots in the Ep2 script, though -- near the beginning of the film, it seems way too rushed as they try to cough out as much plot build up as possible. The worst actor in any Star Wars film to date, though, is the black guy who plays Padme's chief of security in Ep2. Man, that guy can barely even choke out his lines.

And the Luke being a "crown prince, destined for greatness" isn't even a construct of the new trilogy; it was revealed during Empire, hailed by many as the greatest Star Wars film to date.

Furthermore, as each new film gets closer to the timeline of the original trilogy, they get more "Star Wars"ish, if you follow me. Ep2 was definitely much more reminiscent of the original trilogy than Ep1, and I'm very excited to see Ep3 (and I've been very careful not to see any spoilers...your links on this page not helping matters much...the dark side of the force is strong...)


On 29 April 2005 (11:27 AM), jeremy said:

Harrison and Emma won't be able to handle the most recent three movies for some time - the first three were a stretch. Believe it or not, I think the new computer effects make the newest movies way to hard-core for the kids.


On 29 April 2005 (11:58 AM), Rich R said:

Well, I'm not a big fan of the last 2 movies, but I'm not 8-14 anymore. I have also been exposed to lots of special effects, vs. not having seen very many good ones when the original came out.

I heard that the IMAX version of ep2 was the one to watch. They had to cut 45 minutes out because IMAX film is hard to string up and can't be longer than about 90 minutes. SO the entire love story got cut out. I may have actually liked the movie in that state.

As far as ep3 goes, I think I may like it best of the newest set-- maybe even better than Jedi... because it lends it self to less fluffiness.

The point I have to really disagree with you on is marketing. Yes the machine for ep3 is a juggernaut, but Lucas was showing his prowess when he made ep4. He was the first director to keep all of the toy/ancillary marketing rights to his little film. The studio happily gave those rights to the young fool. And he had the last laugh. Was the marketing as sophisticated and as prevalent-- no. But he was the start of making money from a movie outside of the box office.


On 29 April 2005 (12:54 PM), dowingba said:

Also: Luke starts out as a young poor farmboy from the far outreaches of space who dreams of becoming a star pilot.

Anakin starts out as a young poor slave boy from the far outreaches of space (same planet as Luke) who dreams of becoming a star pilot.


On 29 April 2005 (03:16 PM), Denise said:

You know - I read this whole post thinking my thoughts exactly but then I read dowingba's comments and I can see the argument. Looking at it from a pre-war point of view makes it easier to swallow.

I still agree that I don't like the CG, but mostly when dealing with actual characters in the movie. I loved Chewy - he was one of my favorite characters in the first three movies - but I despise Jar Jar Binks. I think he would have been much more believable if they would have made a real costume for him instead of just using the computer graphics.



On 29 April 2005 (04:16 PM), Dave said:

Although I agree with JD on his overall disappointment with the state of the Star Wars mythos as it has progressed (and degraded), I do see some redeeming qualities to the arc as a whole. I also think that the series (original) is not without it's warts and that JD would gloss over them in a wave of nostalgia.

I agree with JD's disappointment with the Force becoming just a matter of midichlorian manipulation and losing the mystical nature that seems to pervade the first three movies. To salvage the difference between series (original) and series (followup), in the second (pre-Empire) films, the average person probably didn't know that midichlorians formed the basis of Force-sensitivity and so to the average person it looked mystical. By series (original) the only people around who would have known about them would be Palpatine, Vader, Yoda and Ken-obi (so spelled b/c JD's filters won't let one write out "K" "E" "N" "O" "B" "I"). The former two aren't going to advertise this, nor are the latter two going to let on that they know a whole lot about it for fear of being exterminated. Of course, it robs us, the viewers, of the mystical experience when we find out about it/them.

Second, I view the glossy and new, nearly devoid of wear, nature of the series (followup) films as being the cause of the Republic's fall. Palpatine uses that sterility and complacence to topple the Republic and replace it with the Empire. Similarly, Lucas is using it to simultaneously provide us with what in many ways is a picture of an egalitarian utopia in order to show us just how poorly things go (for certain people) under the Empire and how much is lost in the fall of the Republic. Under the Empire things get much Darker (from the Death Star to Bespin to the Emperor's quarters) and grittier for most of the common folk. In contrast, the Death Star is the epitome of sterility, both in form and function (excluding the trash compactor, which I’ll deal with in a moment).

Third, the series (original) is not without it's gaping holes. Most critics thought that Mark Hamill's acting (along with the majority of the rest of the cast except for Alec Guiness) was absolute crap and couldn't believe that Lucas would cast such a neophyte in such a pivotal role. And who puts something as mundane (and worthless) as a trash compactor on a brand new space station that's designed to vaporize planets? You'd think they'd come up with something better to do with trash than mash it once they figured out hyperspace travel. Worse, why bother to stick some kind of monster in the brand new space station's trash compactor? How did it get there? Is this some kind of Sith garbage disposal technology, or merely a really old style trash compacting defense system?

What I've never understood is why, when Vader's wandering around on that first ship (and every scene thereafter) in the original film, doesn't he recognize a) the astro mech that was his buddy for years and which was used to help pilot his fighter, and b) the protocol droid that he built from scratch as a boy, was his companion for decades, and used to assist Padme (his wife)? Would it not tell even the casual observer that there was something fishy going on, or at least some connection to one's former life and spouse when your former property ends up in the hands of your sworn enemy? Or better yet, wouldn't both droids know that Anakin Skywalker = Darth Vader? You might think that they'd say something to someone (ie, Leia) at some point. Or, hmmmmmm, why wouldn't Vader figure out that there are some Skywalker's around and keep an eye on them? Oh, wait, his mother didn't have any family, so apparently Luke went into the infant Jedi witness protection program but they decided to throw everyone off the scent by keeping the same last name as his father and making some poor dupes who just appear to be hapless moisture farmers when in fact they are really highly trained Alderaanian or Naboo-ese agents who are sworn to protect Luke from his heritage by raising him as a hapless moisture farmer keep him in squalor and absolute ignorance. Fortunately there's a hermit nearby who dresses like a Jedi and has the same last name as Vader's original master but because he's changed his first name to Ben, no one can see that he's really Superman.

Or whatever...

I find that the books that've been published in the Star Wars universe go a long way toward rectifying some of the flaws JD notes in the films and filling in many of the blanks. On the other hand, let's face facts. Lucas didn't have the whole story arc in mind when he wrote "Star Wars", "The Empire Strikes Back" and "The Return of the Jedi". The second set of films is a cobbled together set of ideas that's designed to capitalize on the success of the first series of films. That, ultimately, is what handicaps the new films.


On 29 April 2005 (04:21 PM), Jennifer said:

As I write this response Emma and Harrison are playing Star Wars. They have built and Imperial Walker out of k'nex. Han, Luke and Leia are actually characters from Harrison's pirate set. Legos are used to create various ships. It doesn't matter the toy, the play is always Star Wars.
Harrison's favorite part of the trilogy is when Darth Vader saves Luke and returns to the good side. He also likes to act out Luke getting his arm cut off. Harrison has also learned how to play the theme music from Star Wars.
Emma's favorite part is when Princess Leia gets chained to Jabba, because she says it is silly. Of course she also loves the ewoks.
I prefer to enjoy the fun of the original trilogy and ignore the new releases. I have to go now, an argument has ensued over the color of Leia's eyes.


On 29 April 2005 (09:42 PM), dowingba said:

I assume the droids have had their memory erased at some point. I also assume that Episode 3 will explain when and why this happens. Also, when does Darth Vader see either of the droids when he's in that ship? That's right: never.

What we also don't know: does Darth Vader know he has surviving children? From what I understand, he kills Padme when she's pregnant, perhaps even when she's in the early stages of pregnancy -- so he might not even know she was pregnant in the first place. I don't think he's gonna spend much time combing the outer reaches of the galaxy for skywalkers, in that case. Not that he probably has much free time to do so anyway, as I assume the life of a Sith is much the same as the life of a Jedi, in that they generally just embark on various missions, without much vacation time.

I don't think secrecy is why Leia's name was changed...she was adopted by people named Organa. Luke was adopted by people named Skywalker, so his name remains Skywalker. I don't know how many sextillions of lifeforms live in the galaxy, but I'm sure there are plenty of Skywalkers around -- so even if Vader was looking around for Skywalkers, it might be hard to pinpoint who his son is, who he doesn't even know, or care, exists. Also, I doubt Tatooine has much in the way of a registrar of names on hand, as there isn't any government to speak of there. So unless Vader goes there and knocks on every door asking "is there a Skywalker here?", while getting truthful answers out of each resident, even though he looks so menacing...


On 29 April 2005 (11:14 PM), J.D. said:

I am so dedicated to you, the readers of foldedspace. How dedicated? I'm so dedicated that I spent my afternoon re-watching The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones.

Here's a dirty little secret: although I complain about these two films, although I just wrote an entire weblog lambasting them, I still watch each of them a couple of times a year. I've probably seen The Phantom Menace ten times and Attack of the Clones at least half a dozen times.

Usually, I find it an exercise in sadism. Today it was kind of fun. Today, I took notes. Lots of them. I mean that I annotated the damn films down to the second in order to reply to some of dowingba's points. In the end, however, I think that'd be counter-productive. Instead, I'll reply with general impressions.

First off, I was surprised to find that this time I found the second film more enjoyable than the first. This has never been the case before. Today, though, Jar-Jar Binks grated just a little too much; the political intrigue was slower in the first film; and, perhaps worst of all, there were actually more plot holes in the first film.

What about the "lived in" feel of the universe? Dowingba's right that the first film does share that with the original trilogy. I'd missed it before, but sure enough, it's there: Watto's junkyard, Anakin's home, the various ships (except the Naboo flyers), and even the close-ups of the battle droids all exhibit signs of wear and tear.

(That's not to say that I don't have problems with the CGI, because I do. The large CGI armies in the final battle scene are painful to watch. I wish that those who work on CGI battle scenes would watch some actual footage of battle scenes staged with live actors, or, preferably read accounts and view drawings/photos/paintings of historical battles.)

However, Attack of the Clones is guilty as charged. Every set in the film is spotless. Nearly every ship is spit-and-polished. Remember how I complained about the structures on the water world Kamino not exhibiting any signs of rust of mildew, etc? It's worse. Ken-obi and Jango Fett have a fire fight in which lightsabers, blasters, turbo lasers, rockets, and a jetpack all bombard a landing platform. Yet how much damage is visible? None. The platform is untouched. Bizarre! There are many similar examples. Attack of the Clones does not exhibit the same lived-in feel as the other Star Wars films: not the bars, not the ships, not the living quarters. (There are a couple of exceptions, particularly on Tattooine, but they simply serve to accentuate the problem.)

Re: CGI in general. I am guilty as charged. It's not that I dislike new things — I don't — but I do generally dislike CGI. It's not that I dislike CGI out of spite, or for an arbitrary reason; it's just that I feel that it's often misused. Filmmakers seem unable to show restraint. There are many films that use CGI in a judicious fashion, and I'm quick to praise these. (Examples include Amelie, Spider-Man (and its sequel), and even the new Battlestar Galactica.) Too many films, though, follow the Peter Jackson's Helms Deep path, or the Phantom Menace path, the path to the dark side, the path down which more is actually less.

Dowingba's right about another thing: the CGI Yoda looks damn good (except during his lightsaber battle).

I still think the acting isn't that great. I suspect this has to do with Lucas' direction. However, after taking careful notes, and rewinding the bad scenes multiple times, it's pretty clear that the script is the culprit. Some of the lines are just awful, no matter how they're read.

Ultimately, some sense can be made of Episode Two's plot. And, for the most part, dowingba has it nailed. The problem is, this whole muddled thing is very difficult to follow. As I say, I've watched the film a half dozen times. I'm a smart guy. I have a college degree. I read Proust for pleasure. I love the twisty passages found in a film like Rashomon. Still, I could only decipher Attack of the Clones when I took notes on the damn thing. Maybe I'm not as smart as I think I am. Maybe I'm an idiot. Or maybe we're all confused because the plot, though present, is muddled and difficult to see.

The plot of the second film is not as simple as dowingba makes it out to be. It can be summarized thusly: for whatever reason (we're never really sure), a group of star systems has begun to break away from the Republic. These "Separatists" are led by Count Dooku, is secretly Lord Tyranus, a dark lord of the Sith, and partner with Darth Sidious (aka the Chancellor). Tyranus has been employing Jango Fett to create an army of clones. This army, in development for ten years (since the end of episode one), is destined to be used by the Republic to fight the Separatists. (But wait! didn't I just say Dooku led the Separatists? I did indeed.) The Separatists basically comprise various financial interests, groups with names like the Trade Federation, the Banking Guild, the Commerce Alliance, etc. Dooku — and, apparently, Jango — are helping them construct an army of battle droids. They've also begun to develop the battle station that we know will become the Death Star. Dooku/Tyranus is doing all this work behind the scenes while Sidious/Palpatine is manipulating the Senate and the Jedi council.

So, you see, a plot is present, it's just rather complicated. Certainly more complicated than any of the other films in the series. Basically, Dooku/Tyranus and Sidious/Palpatine are leading the galaxy into Civil War for their own nefarious purposes.

I'm still not persuaded that the stories of the first two films (and what I know of the third) do a good job of setting up the original trilogy. In fact, they do a rather poor job. Yes they connect the dots, but they do it in a very clumsy way. They try to hard. They take the feeling of magic out of it for me.

Moving on: Dave, I'm well aware the original series has warts. Most of Return of the Jedi is one big wart. However, the problems with the first three films are smaller, to me. Also, I'm apt to be much more forgiving of these because I grew up with them. I love Buckaroo Banzai despite the fact it's a bad film for this very reeason.

I think Dave has an interesting point regarding the clean/gritty dichotomy based on the descent into Empire.

Rich, I was actually going to mention the whole bit about Lucas negotiating for the marketing rights for the first film. I had it typed out under the marketing subhead, but then I edited it out for some reason. I should have left it in! :)

There you have it: Dowingba makes some good points, though I don't agree with all of them. (Par for the course!)

Favorite part of Phantom Menace: uh, I'm thinking here — oh yeah! the pod race!

Least favorite: Jar Jar Fucking Binks

Favorite part of Attack of the Clones: Ken-obi dives through Amidala's window, catching the assassin droid thing

Least favorite: the painful, painful, painful love scenes (followed closely by Yoda with a lightsaber)


On 01 May 2005 (08:29 PM), Paul said:

The 5/1/05 article about Star Wars.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/05/01/weekinreview/01fount.html?


On 02 May 2005 (08:44 PM), Nendae said:

You rock. Star Wars is the WORST movie ever, i am glad you know that it sucks. And the only use for a Lightsaber is as Christmas lighting. Darth Vader has Asthma. Yoda is a green prune with a speech problem. Luke is a loser. Leia gets her hair done at "Cinnabon." George Lucas is an idiotic moron. The answer to every question in star wars is the Force.
Why did that happen?
the Force
How did it happen?
the Force
Why does star wars suck?
the Force


On 03 May 2005 (11:19 AM), Keith said:

Years ago I read a book called True Believer. This book is about how someone can put forth a dogma, a set of beliefs and then preach them to people in such a way as to totally suspend their ability to analyzethe truth. In other words, you tell the people a lie, and they believe it, and follow the teachings that accompany the lie. This is a simplified explanation, but it covers mass movements like Nazism and Communism and anti-Starwarsism.

Are the movies perfect? No, none of them are. There is poor acting in all 5. There are numerous mistakes in all 5. One complaint I've seen over and over is that the starships are clean...well if thats a flaw in the first 2 movies how about in episode 5 where the Falcon flies from Hoth to Bespin...without using the hyperdrive. How many thousands of years should that have taken?

And the complaint about how the story has shifted from people on the side to people in the center is silly. Obi Wan was a General who came to fame in the Clone Wars. Of course he was going to be a character in the center, and anyone involved with him would be too. Princess Leia was a Princess and a Senator...she was not an accidental heroine by any means.

I feel the poster has fallen into the True Believer school of thought that the SW movies suck. Are they perfect? No. Do they entertain? I think so. Lucas changed moviemaking, and continues to do things no other filmmaker does.

I could go on to comment on the other points the initial poster attacks the movies on. I think in the end it would be an attack on the intelligence of the poster...If he can't even comprehend the subtle story Lucas is weaving or enjoy the storytelling, then I doubt any criticism of mine will sway him. If he hates Star Wars so much, I suggest not seeing Episode 3, and never doing anything at all related to the 6 works.


On 05 May 2005 (07:35 AM), A.R.Yngve said:

All you diehard fans who feel a need to "defend" STAR WARS against criticism, please bear this in mind:

1. Lucasfilm Corp. has not paid you one red cent to do this costly PR work.

2. Lucasfilm Corp. does not owe you anything.

3. You do NOT own the STAR WARS franchise. Lucasfilm Corp. does.

4. Lucasfilm Corp. is owned by George Lucas, not by you.

5. George Lucas does not owe you anything.

6. You do not owe George Lucas anything.

Now, my opinion on the prequel films... I've worked many years in the IT industry and seen a LOT of computer graphics.

Computer graphics in film should NEVER DRAW ATTENTION to itself.

Because when it does, it ruins the experience. You simply stop caring, when you're constantly reminded that you're not watching physical objects.

CGI works best with subtle effects and enhancements - such as editing or background detail - or water and cloud effects which require lots of small, anonymous particles.

The ONE acting CGI character I've seen who really worked in a movie, was Andy Serkis' Gollum in THE LORD OF THE RINGS. (Maybe Peter Jackson knows something about CGI that George Lucas doesn't.)

And yeah, the plots of the prequel are convoluted and boring. I don't need the prequels. I have the original trilogy, and that's fine with me.

And as for the Ewoks... I LIKE the Ewoks! I think there are a lot of people who like the Ewoks, but are scared to admit it... because they think this "emasculates" them.

-A.R.Yngve
http://yngve.bravehost.com


On 07 May 2005 (09:35 PM), Darth Joe said:

I read the article, and found that I agreed 100% :-( :-( :-(
The prequels.....well....Sucked. "From a certain point of view." OK, they weren't good stories, but I like seeing how Anakin became my hero. I believe that is the 1 saving grace....the 1 thing everyone wants to see....unless George screws that up too....
I can forgive him IF he apologizez to the public for these blunders and uses the profits to correct the mistakes....basically rewrite the series. But after reading parts of the script for Revenge of the Sith, I think the Force has left him, and the midi-chlorians are cutting off circulation. Characters need to be rethought for who they are...scenes need to be reshot to make sense...Yoda needs to continue to have Intelligent, Wise things to say, not just Yoda-ish. Everyone remembers "Try not; do or do not; there is no try" How many people are going to quote "Around the survivors a parameter create"??
The Jedi and the Sith BOTH need to be mysterious... that is the way of things; the way of the force.
Mabe the Midi-Chlorians can be a RESULT of access to the force, as if they depend on it for survival rather than the source of the force.
Mabe someone should create Star Wars X.
But then, mabe we should let a terminal dog die.


On 08 May 2005 (07:48 PM), John C. Welch said:

If they wanted to keep Luke hidden, they should have changed his name to match Owen and Beru's last name...Lars

But they did the aunt & uncle thing, so that was at least sensible.

The problem is, Lucas backed his ass into a corner with 4-6, and he's just not good enough to handle it without being lame.

there is one essential store arc in the first 6 films...Vader's. If the films succeed or fail it's on the strength of that. 4-6 created a damned good villain. I mean, he tortures Han in "Empire" because he CAN. Probably because he's trying to sucker Luke to the city.

When Vader picks up the head of Threepio, there's a long pause there that's never explained until the first movie. That was great.

The 4-6 Vader/Anakin was Miltonian. The 1-3 Anakin/Vader is Spearsian. There's just nothing in 1-3 that makes you give a rat's ass about Anakin. He's a whiner. Hell, when I read the book where Obi-Wan finally accepts that his former student's a jackass, he just lays the beatdown on him, and I was almost cheering.

Then in the same book, when Palpatine finds him, you realize that Vader's a Jedi Loser because he's got no skin. What the hell? The Force comes from your soul, but you need hands? GAHHHHHHH!!!! WHY IS THAT EVEN IN THERE? When the force goes from "The thing that binds the universe" to "A side effect of bad water, and it's not for crips" then it goes from cool to sucks.

But at the same time, i was crying over what Lucas had done to vader. He's small now. He's not the embodiment of tragedy and evil. He's just a jock who Peaked in a pod race. I was crying because never again would I be able to watch 4-6 and be as impressed by Vader. that scene in 4, early on where he's pointing his finger at Leia? I'll always hear, "DON'T YOU SASS YOUR FATHER LITTLE GOIL". When he tells Luke in 6 "Now his failure is complete" I'll be hearing "1 PWN3D K3N0B1!!!"

Lucas took Vader and made him into less that what he was, and for that, I'll never forgive him. I haven't paid to see a star wars movie since "Jedi" was in the theatres. I have the original series on tape. I imagine I'll dump it to DVD. It's wonderful, warts and all.

The new series? It's like everything else created for the sake of technology...dead by the time you get it.

john


On 17 May 2005 (08:52 PM), [CLONE] 1147 said:

I agree with you completely about what you had said about recapturing that original feel that isn't a product of whoring the CGI. I thought a movie version of Jedi Outcast would be wonderful if it stayed as true to the game as it did to the star wars universe. If you haven't played the KOTORS yet, we highly recommend them. Didn't think I'd like them since I was never really into star wars or RPGs, but if you have already played through them you'd know what I mean.


On 20 May 2005 (12:12 PM), Davey said:

One small point that no-one seems to have picked up on about Luke's adoption.

Luke was living with his (step) Uncle Owen (Lars) in his Granny's(/step-Grandpa's) house.

Uncle Owen features in EpII as the son of the guy who maries Anakin's mum (dunno his name - was in a wheelchair... . ..without any wheels, so just a chair really).

So Anakin actually meets the guy who ends up looking after his son whilst looking for/finding his missing mother and then burries her body outside the house where Luke will spend his youth.

All in all, not the best hiding place. Probably a good job Vader was off killing some Jedi, then some rebels throttling English blokes in Nazi uniforms and blowing up some stuff (you know, planets and that).

Also I'm not even sure (from memory) how/when Vader figures out he has a son. The name'd probably twig it for him if he heard there was a Skywalker out there causing a bit of a stink for the empire. (I'm pretty sure it is in the original films but I'd appreciate a reminder!)

Cheers.
Davey.


On 20 May 2005 (12:15 PM), Davey said:

One small point that no-one seems to have picked up on about Luke's adoption.

Luke was living with his (step) Uncle Owen (Lars) in his Granny's(/step-Grandpa's) house.

Uncle Owen features in EpII as the son of the guy who maries Anakin's mum (dunno his name - was in a wheelchair... . ..without any wheels, so just a chair really).

So Anakin actually meets the guy who ends up looking after his son whilst looking for/finding his missing mother and then burries her body outside the house where Luke will spend his youth.

All in all, not the best hiding place. Probably a good job Vader was off killing some Jedi, then some rebels throttling English blokes in Nazi uniforms and blowing up some stuff (you know, planets and that).

Also I'm not even sure (from memory) how/when Vader figures out he has a son. The name'd probably twig it for him if he heard there was a Skywalker out there causing a bit of a stink for the empire. (I'm pretty sure it is in the original films but I'd appreciate a reminder!)

Cheers.
Davey.


On 20 May 2005 (12:53 PM), Davey said:

D'Oh! Sorry for the double post, the page froze during submission.

I agree about the feel of Jedi Outcast.
It was the a game in a series that went all the way back to Dark Forces, then Jedi Knight, Jedi Outcast and then Jedi Academy.

Dark Forces was great! All the levels were well designed, it played well, it definately had the original Star Wars feel (minus the Lightsabers - more Rebel Aliance than Jedi Council), though the graphics are v.dated, but not without a good deal of atmosphere.
At the time the story seemed a bit detached from the Films by the end. Not to give too much away in case anyone likes retro-gaming, it seems pretty well tied in now, with the fighting droidy stuff in the prequels and the Fett's depply rooted Imperial connections.

Jedi Knight again had great levels, more weapons, Lightsabers, great (though pretty dumb) enemies and the force. there was a pre-destiny theme which was ffamiliar from the films. Jedi Outcast brought better gameplay letting you control the Lightsabre, properly - (like "Severence"(only RPG game I could ever get into) but better), though the level design fell down a bit for me. The last one was pretty similar to Outcast though.

Anyway, relevance?
I rekon these games held true to the feel of the original films - far more so than EpI/II though I'm holding out hope that EpIII will fulfill its purpose - stepping the void.


On 20 May 2005 (08:43 PM), Sai said:

You know I think you've made some really great points. I may have been introduced to Star Wars via VHS tapes by my parents, seeing I was only born the year Return of the Jedi came out, but I still had sense enough to know the new Star Wars feels nothing like the old Star Wars. So far all I've been able to describe it as is "it doesn't have the same ambience".

But what you've said makes alot of sense. How this vast galaxy seems a whole heck of alot smaller in the new Star Wars. How everyone is suddenly so important. I didn't really relate to the characters in the new movies, I can barely remember most of their names. I can remember who Luke is. Who Obi-wan is. Who Yoda is. Who Leia and Han and Lando and Jabba the Hut are. But it took me a while to even connect the fact that Queen Amidala's name is Padme. Maybe I was just too distracted by the poor acting, poor plot contruct and Unnesessary CGI, but I could barely follow episodes 1 and 2 at all. As for 3, I think I'll wait to rent it at Blockbuster some rainy day.

And really, I don't like to knock CGI that much, I've come to appreciate what computers can do for art and film over the years, but I have noticed far too much emphasis/reliance on them. There does seem to be far too much of an air of "hey look it this!" and "check out our nifty graphics!" and "look how we can make this alien blink almost realistically!" in the new films. It's really annoying. And having grown up with the rapid development of video games and even Dinsey integrating computers into films this stuff tends to wear on me pretty quickly.

Though I have to admit when I was younger and the Star Wars Special Edition came to thearters it left me giddy. But even then a few extra aliens in a scene didn't change the plot.

Unfortuneately, the prequels COULD have been really great. They really could have been a Star Wars for a new generation, for my generation, but apparently George Lucas has grossly understimated what appeals to my generation in an almost insulting manner.


On 20 May 2005 (08:45 PM), J.D. said:

I should note that I just saw Revenge of the Sith. I didn't hate it nearly as much as I hated the first two prequels. In fact, I kind of liked it. My thoughts are here.


On 22 May 2005 (07:49 PM), D said:

Just saw Episode III. Truthfully, it's the biggest sci-fi disaster since Episode II. A real eye-sore, it hardly classifies as a "movie" in my book. Lucas has no story to tell--only poorly concieved computer effects to play with in his Imperial Light & Magic studio.

George Lucas should be grounded from his computer.


On 23 May 2005 (05:00 PM), TBRWolf70 said:

I have to say I agree with all of the postings on this site....although I have some disagreements with some of the things said. I seen 3 on opening night and I have to say Lucas messed up again. I don't know exactly what George was thinking when he made these (last or first depends on how you look at it), 3 films. Episode 3 was filled with a lot of non direction. The film seemed to me to be jumping around a lot. I read the book before the movie came out and there is a lot in the book that is not brought out in the movie. The only quality that even remotely saves this film is the fact that they somewhat show the conversion of Darth Vader. I do believe that the movie went way to fast with anakins conversion to vader and that it didn't really say why he so easily converted. The CGI in this film was way to much and almost ruined the film. I have been a star wars fan from the begining and loved the first three. I lived star wars as a child and now that these last three came out I am almost shamed to be called a star wars fan. I don't know what made lucas think that humor had a place in the films but I think that was a BIG mistake. Jar Jar totally ruined a film for me that I had been waiting to see for years. When Lucas stated that he was waiting for computers to get to the point so that he could do with the films what he needed I didn't know he couldn't wait to totally destroy the flavor and style of the films the way he did. I could continue to rant about this for hours but I will spare you unlike lucas did to us. I think lucas fell out of love with the movies or just got tired of making them and just wanted to get the story told so that his fans would leave him alone. At least this is how I feel. There is a rumor that Lucas' son is going to do 7-9, I hope this is true and I hope he goes back to the original style of the movies and does not ruin them like his father did.

Thank you for your time,
TBRWolf70


On 25 May 2005 (09:38 PM), Cepo said:

if we just pretend they're a whole different set of movies, then perhaps after George Lucas is dead someone will remake the prequels. :P


On 25 May 2005 (09:55 PM), D said:

I'd love to see special editions of all three prequels that introduce real characters on real sets delivering real dialogue with lucid action scenes and coherent plotlines.


On 26 May 2005 (09:13 AM), DAKMOR said:

Firts,I must point out that I did not read any books,scripts,or commentaries on any of the Star Wars films. Second,I must say that I enjoyed them,although most of this stuff you guys are saying does change it a lot. Third, I do beleive that Lucas never really understood what he was writing. I bet that if he could redo the "original" series,he's would have two actors in the whole thing. The guy playing Luke,and the guy playing Obi-wan. The rest,CGI.

Lucas' idea of Star Wars and ours are too very different things. Think,LOTR and and old robin hood movie. Lucas is LOTR,and ours is robin hood. that big of a difference.

His marketing license is really what made him keep making the dang movies. Without absolute millions coming in from toys,this fat cat(not from washignton hough) is just out to get money!


On 27 May 2005 (07:18 AM), Shinzon said:

I agree with this great article. I loved Episode III BUT I cant love it entirely like the first one (episode IV). I fell asleep in episodes I and II because they were too long, but I liked it cause it had all of those space ship and army fights.

But yes, there is soemthing akward in the prequels. I had no problem with Luke working his way to becoem a Jedi. But in Anakins case, I just didint buy it, it was too aristocratic, I mean after all Anakin is the center of the galaxy in the prequles, that would fit with george Lucas becoming a multimillonaire praised and worshiped, probably went to his head and reflected it. I just didnt buy the whol "anakin is the god of the galaxy" thing, its unreal and imposible, life never works that way to such an extreme. Trule Lucas head is too big so he reflected it on Anakin.

A New Hope is better.


On 10 June 2005 (10:41 PM), Clayton said:

Wonderful article on all levels. I'm only writing to say 'Eureka' in regards to your comments on the relationship of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to Star Wars. I have never met anyone else who thought the same and here you are expounding upon what i've always thought as well! The only thing I can recommend to someone so apparently in the know is that you read Milton's Paradise Lost for the true story of Vader that LucAss never told us becuase he has been so busy wacking off with CGI (And since he is just merely a hack in the first place)

Peace.


On 14 June 2005 (09:10 AM), Jack Sargent said:

In short, Episode II is a terrible movie. The acting, special effects and dialogue are not only poor, but un-engaging. The action sequences are tedious and un-involving, and the love scenes are laughable. This film has no redeeming features. It is worse than Episode I!
The worst scene has to be the one in the droid factory (it looks and feels like something from a video game).
George Lucas and Jonathan Hales' screenplay for this film is appalling too.


On 19 June 2005 (06:57 PM), I want George Lucas' head on a platter said:

While I agree with most everything said on this site, I feel that most people missed a really important complaint and it is one of the reasons I really feel ripped off by the first trilogy. For one, in a universe that's so vast and interesting, there is wayyyyy to much coincidence going on. It's like the whole story is based on a few influential families. Such coincidences not only make the universe seem immeasurably small, but also takes the great library of Star Wars literature and throws it in the garbage. This brings me to my second point. While George Lucas may not owe his fans anything, he certainly owes the people that worked hard explaining the technology and filling the plot-holes in the original series. One small example of this is the astromech droid Obi-Wan has for his ship in EpisodeII. He refers to the droid as 'R4', which isn't that big of a deal until you go and buy the book on droids which explains that the first part of an astromech's serial isn't different for every astromech (like people's first names) but explains the type of model the astromech is i.e. there are several thousands of R2's but only one that's called R2-D2. According to the book (which George recieved a paycheck for) the R4 model is one of the newer models that does look similar to an R2 unit, but has a clear dome. Some people may think this nitt-picky, but since George Lucas did recieve a paycheck for that book, he could at least crack a copy open before he took his big dump on the universe that so many other more talented authors were able to keep to a timeline that takes everyone's work into consideration and builds off a world that has become so much more diverse than anything George Lucas could have done himself.

Sorry, got a little long-winded there. The real reason I even posted here is this question: On the May 8th post of John C. Welsh posted that there is a scene in one of the movies (he doesn't say which) where Vader picks up threepio's head and there is a long pause or some such. Could anyone tell me in what version of what movie this scene is in? I've seen all the movies multiple times and I can never even remember Vader sharing a scene with either of the droids. And one more point, just because they never shared a scene doesn't give the excuse for having them in episodes 1-3 (just one of those huge galactic coincidences that helps ruin episodes one-three).


On 19 June 2005 (06:58 PM), I want George Lucas' head on a platter said:

While I agree with most everything said on this site, I feel that most people missed a really important complaint and it is one of the reasons I really feel ripped off by the first trilogy. For one, in a universe that's so vast and interesting, there is wayyyyy to much coincidence going on. It's like the whole story is based on a few influential families. Such coincidences not only make the universe seem immeasurably small, but also takes the great library of Star Wars literature and throws it in the garbage. This brings me to my second point. While George Lucas may not owe his fans anything, he certainly owes the people that worked hard explaining the technology and filling the plot-holes in the original series. One small example of this is the astromech droid Obi-Wan has for his ship in EpisodeII. He refers to the droid as 'R4', which isn't that big of a deal until you go and buy the book on droids which explains that the first part of an astromech's serial isn't different for every astromech (like people's first names) but explains the type of model the astromech is i.e. there are several thousands of R2's but only one that's called R2-D2. According to the book (which George recieved a paycheck for) the R4 model is one of the newer models that does look similar to an R2 unit, but has a clear dome. Some people may think this nitt-picky, but since George Lucas did recieve a paycheck for that book, he could at least crack a copy open before he took his big dump on the universe that so many other more talented authors were able to keep to a timeline that takes everyone's work into consideration and builds off a world that has become so much more diverse than anything George Lucas could have done himself.

Sorry, got a little long-winded there. The real reason I even posted here is this question: On the May 8th post of John C. Welsh posted that there is a scene in one of the movies (he doesn't say which) where Vader picks up threepio's head and there is a long pause or some such. Could anyone tell me in what version of what movie this scene is in? I've seen all the movies multiple times and I can never even remember Vader sharing a scene with either of the droids. And one more point, just because they never shared a scene doesn't give the excuse for having them in episodes 1-3 (just one of those huge galactic coincidences that helps ruin episodes one-three).


On 20 June 2005 (06:22 AM), dowingba said:

"I want George Lucas' head on a platter",

In Episode 4, Luke and his uncle buy a weird looking red astromech droid that looks nothing like R2-D2 from the jawas, but soon afterwards it malfunctions and smoke begins emitting from it. "Uncle Owen, this R2 unit has a bad motivator!" says Luke.


On 25 June 2005 (10:11 PM), Jeff said:

New Jedi Order, New Jedi Order, New Jedi Order, New Jedi Order!

In case you're wondering what I'm ranting about ... it's the 13-or-so book series that ended a couple years ago that truly reminded me how much I love the Star Wars saga. Yes, the prequels have been a dissapointment ... which is why I have immersed myself in the Expanded Universe and all but ignored everything before "A New Hope". Yes, I'm a huge Star Wars fan and definitly a Star Wars geek ... but the books really are where it's at now.


On 01 July 2005 (11:43 AM), jd said:

you must be the most stupidest peices of s**t on the planet, how can you not like star wars are you lot stupid.


On 08 August 2005 (04:01 AM), Chris Laughlin said:

Thank you so much! This is a fantastic analysis of why the new Star Wars movies suck so badly that they make baby Jesus cry. Damnit I hate these new movies!

Chris


On 14 August 2005 (12:42 AM), Stinky said:

"I'd rather have the hocus-pocus religion, and so would you."


-good one


On 24 August 2005 (08:41 PM), JT said:

Thank you so much. I thought I was the only one to think this movie series was suckville.


On 28 August 2005 (09:42 PM), alien said:

Phantom menace, Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith� ALL SUCK. Not because they have �Computer Graphics� or that their �New�. No,� simply because they SUCK AS FILMS! They suck because Lucas could not sell them as workable ideas 30 years ago and as a consequence started the series at EPISODE 4. I mean why would you start at episode 4 why? What�s the logic? Yes the prequels have a story on which they are based but what most people fail to observe is that the films lack the most obvious thing that all good movies have. DRAMA! How do you support a film that is carelessly littered with inane details and has absolutely no emotional draw to the characters?

But don�t blame Lucas I�m sure he wanted to make the prequels into epic films but what has happened is that industry is not the same anymore. The talent pool around him is not the same either. The Seventies and Eighties had incredible designers like Syd Mead who did the set and vehicle designs for the early films and Blade Runner. Now you basiclly have groups of CG jocks that incestuously copy each other and compete for recognition among the studios.

What�s also sad is that when you become rich and powerful and the people that work for you are dying for your approval it does not foster a healthy environment for creativity or new ideas. I think Lucas should never have revisited his old ideas because they were just not good enough to make the cut. I suppose when you are close to being a Billionaire and the public looks at you with envy or as a living god then this must encourage you to believe that even the ideas that you abandoned 30 years ago were secret gems yet to be discovered.

People should recognize that many incredibly talented people collaborated with Lucas to make Star Wars what it became. If you read Star Wars as just a script�. God almighty�. that could have easily become an incredibly bad seventies Sci-fi flick. Yet that�s not happened, Star Wars became the most significant SCI-FI film of the Twentieth Century! HELLO!!! Does this register with those arguing about Astromech droids! Can you grasp the magnitude of what Star Wars was and what it has now become? Probably not�Honestly if you were not alive to see Star Wars during the 70�s and 80�s you just don�t get it and you never will understand the magic of that time. I grew up on a farm and as a kid when I saw that Star Destroyer rumble overhead I sat with my mouth gaping wide in disbelief�.As �JD� so poetically pointed out�.. It was truly a time of wonder.

So let�s talk about supposedly hating the �New� and hating CG? . . What�s that about? As an original Stat Wars fan I resent this remark because it is a sweeping generalization and a polite way to call someone �old�� Yet the question in my mind is why prequel fans love these movies when they appear to be so heavily vested towards children and not adults? Honestly it�s a real drag for anyone with any taste or capacity for good film to sit through these so called movies.

To be blunt, many Star Wars fans would have slept outside theatres just to see any film related to the Star Wars Legend. Really, . . . I mean it. Lucas could have taken a shit on a plate, pointed a camera at it and released it as "The Phantom Menace" and maybe some people would have gone to see it twice. So my question is? If you are George Lucas and you can do anything.....I mean anything....Money is not an issue, selling the movie is not an issue and getting creative talent to work with you is not an issue ....Then why not make a film for Adults? Why not keep the aura of the original films and do something innovative and epic�If the Star Wars movies were better films they would have easily overtaken the success of Titanic in earnings?

I think most original Star Wars Fans have remained SCI-FI fans and I personally loved A.I., Minority Report, and The Incredibles. How much more CG do you want me to like? The Incredibles was all CG but it had effects and characters that were highly memorable. As for ep1, ep2 and ep3 � No one will remember these effects because they sucked at delivering an idea and that�s because the prequels have no tangible feeling or idea to deliver� �NOTHING�� just a list of detailed inane Star Wars babble. The original Star Wars films always blew us away when we saw the effects! To this day, I still get goose bumps when I watch the rebel soldier look through his binoculars to see those gigantic Imperial Walkers lumbering towards them on the ice planet Hoth. This �effects shot� created drama, because you felt sympathy for those poor souls who faced certain death defending themselves against such terrible machines of war.

Nobody wants to watch a two hour Star Wars trivial pursuit with convoluted land battles between CG cartoon characters? Didn�t Lucas see Braveheart? . . . What if the battles in that film were hundreds of instances of 3D Scotsmen fighting the 3d English army, all with a predictable randomness? How boring would that be?

How about the �New�? When I saw the Lord of the Rings in the theatre that scene with the Balrog blew me away! What an incredible effect, the flames, the textures, the heat distorting the air as it roared and lastly the haunting chants and music of the Balrog. That is cinema, that is genius and sadly it did not come from the Skywalker Ranch and for my friend that loves the appendices of books don�t confuse Tolkien with Lucas they are not equals� not even close.


I think many Star Wars fans are living in denial. Most of them can�t admit that the prequels failed at the most basic level as films and what�s even worse is that these films denigrated the original Star Wars Myth. They can�t come to terms with this simply because �this is it��like it or not there will be no alternative to this cinematic suck fest in triplicate.
Yet I think the future holds even darker things for Star Wars fans�As Hollywood has been consistently reinventing old movies because they just can�t take a chance on any new ideas. Soon the time will come when they recreate episodes 4, 5 and 6 to match the crappiness of the prequels.

Maybe they will get Vin Diesal to play Han Solo? God Help us......


On 06 September 2005 (10:35 AM), Devil's Advocate said:

On 19 June 2005 (06:58 PM), I want George Lucas' head on a platter said:

"It's like the whole story is based on a few influential families."

Ever heard of the Kennedys? Or the Bushs?


On 01 October 2005 (07:35 PM), Jake said:

i completely disagree with you :(


On this day at foldedspace.org

2006Monday, May Day, Monday   In which I speak up for the immigrants.

2004Super Powers   In which we discuss our favorite superheroes and try to decide which super powers we'd like to have.

2003The iTunes Music Store   In which I spend $18.81 at the new iTunes Music Store. Could this be the future of music? (Three years later on: the answer is a resounding YES!)


Comments
On 09 November 2005 (01:49 AM), Frank said:

2) What is the plot of Attack of the Clones?

The plot of the Attack of the Clones is so simple a nerf herder could follow it.

After manipulating the crisis betweent the Trade Federation and Naboo to become elected Supreme Chancellor of the Republic, Palpatine/Darth Sidious sends his apprentice, the former Jedi Count Dooku to lead a separatist movement and stage a "civil war" as an excuse to gain support for a Grand Army of the Republic.

Sometime between his election as chancellor and Episode II Palpatine manipulated Sifa Dious (sp?) into visiting the Kimino cloners to arrange a clone army based on the DNA of Mandalorian Warrir turned Bounty Hunter Jango Fett. The transaction was then erased from Republic records and the Jedi archives.

Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker stumble onto this plot when they are assigned to protect Padme from assasination attempts--she and Bail Organa from Alderan have been the most vocal opponents of the Republic Army.

Anakin has been harboring a crush on Padme since he met her ten years earlier. He is elated when he is assigned to protect her when she returns to Naboo to weather the crisis.

Meanwhile following leads from gleamed from his investigation of the Cloners, Obi-Wan travels to the planet Geonosis to track down Count Dooku and the separtists.

While on Naboo Anakin has visions that his mother is in danger. He and Padme return to Tatooine and discover not only has she married Cliegg Lars but has been captured by Tusken Raiders.

Anakin tracks down the Tusken Raiders and when his mother dies in his arms he slaughters the Tusken Raiders like animals.

Meanwhile R2-D2 has intercepted a message from Obi -Wan Kenobi on Geonosis. When Anakin views the message it becomes clear that Obi-Wan has been captured. Padme and Anakin travel to Geonosis to rescue Obi Wan but they are also captured by the separatists.

Meanwhile, Yoda has traveled to Kimino to take command of the army of the Republic which was authorized by one vote solicited from a manipulated Jar Jar Binks.

On Geonosis Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Padme use their combined skills to fight their way to freedom. Mace Windu and the Jedi arrive to arrest Dooku and the Sepratists. The Jedi are out numbered by the droid army until Yoda arrives with the Clone Army. A fierce battle ensues.

Obi-Wan and Anakin track down Dooku. Due to Anakin's rashness he and ObiWan are defeated. Yoda saves them but Dooku escapes.

Dooku reports to his master in an industrial section of Coruscant.

Later Palpatine, the Senate and the Jedi oversee the departure of Clone Troopers for the War against the separatists.

On Naboo Anakin and Padme are secretly married.


I think the plots of the prequels are more complicated for a variety of reasons. The original series was made in the 1970s and 1980s as a response to more cynical and violent films of the times such as The Godfather, Apocalypse Now, and Death Wish. And as a response to the political strife of the sixties and early seventies such as the Vietnam Conflict, Watergate, oil embargos, and the Mideast conflicts. The audience was ready for a lighthearted, straightforward fairy tale and Star Wars was that fairy tale. The back story that became the prequels was written at that same time but Lucas had neither the budget nor time to film the entire series at the time.

When he returned to series, Lucas and our culture were further tempered by war, strife, and political corruption. Like any other artist, Lucas would want to use his art to address the world around him. The world had grown more complicated and complex and so did the films.

I don't think the inclusion of midiachlorians lessons the Force but develops it further into a a more pantheistic religion--the philosophy behind the force is that the universe is a unified whole and as unified whole is divine.



On 17 December 2005 (02:11 PM), arr said:

you guys are stupid


On 01 January 2006 (07:42 PM), Jay Nicholson said:

I just watched all the prequals and the original movies again after being shelved months. After it was all over - I came into the computer room and typed "Star Wars sucks" into Google.

Lucas messed up Star Wars - fan boys will defend it to the end - but if you're a true fan you can see the new movies for what they are - Eye Candy over content - a vast number of objects in motion - lacking emotion.

There are a few parts in the movies that give a glance of what these new movies could have been - but in the end there is no emotional stir. No attachment to any of the characters.

Something happened to Lucas on the way to the bank - maybe he lost his emotional attachment to his characters in place of vivid graphics and amazing sounds.

Oh well, I guess I have to live with what Star Wars has become - Lucas has to live with what he made Star Wars into...

-jay


On 02 January 2006 (08:44 AM), Joel said:

Wow, that is impressive: your #2 on the google list for "star wars sucks" above the "official anti-Star Wars Organization"! Beware, lest they turn their snarkiness upon you.


On 06 February 2006 (08:19 PM), imho said:

I still can't believe how bad the script was. I cringe.

The digital stuff is fun but it lacks the texture which makes it difficult to connect with. With the older version you can almost imagine the smells.


On 20 February 2006 (10:51 AM), Clanko said:

I really liked the original Star Wars and TPM, but after that it seemed to have too many digitial effects, it hurts your eyes. I think the old ones were better because it actually made you sad when a rebel died, instead of a clone, and when a corrupt Stormtrooper died, instead of an annoying droids (which are ok, but I still don't like as much) the original one seems more like a large galaxy where you know everyone (even though there are many people) which makes it more sad when people die, but in AOFC and ROTS it is just like lasers flying all over the place, I even noticed that in the games (Battlefront 1 to Battlefront 2) it is a shame, some of my favorite characters and events(Greivous, Darth Maul, Tatione on Episode 1) weren't put into the old movies, because those were the only things I liked about 1-3. They just didn't seem to have a good plot. And the cheesy love scenes were getting annoying wasting valuable time, in the old Star Wars they were short, undertandable, and weren't cheesy. I mean what the heck is, "The sand is course, unlike you." suppoesed to mean?


On 20 February 2006 (11:17 AM), Clanko said:

Sorry to post again, but I wanted to add the fact that I think Anakin is too much of a crybaby and a sissy to be Darth Vader, I think someone that was more evil should have been Darth Vader.
P.S. I always thought Greivous would've been great in the original series. Heck, if he wasn't in Episode 3, I wouldn't have even watched it.


On 01 March 2006 (06:25 PM), Bobby Jones said:

I think they didn't have Darth Vader reconize R2-D2 or C3PO because it would have made the scene where we see C3PO being made by Anakin in Eps. 1 stupid, and not as good.


On 20 March 2006 (10:55 AM), Randall Christensen said:

Here is the ironic thing about what you have written: it isn't George Lucas who doesn't have a clue what Star Wars is about....its you. You obviously don't have a clue and you never did. Its funny that you think the man who created this universe doesn't know what its all about. How dare you tell him what he can and cannot do in his epic. The problem is that you like Star Trek and Battlestar Gallactica. You are a sci-fi fan, not a Star Wars fan. I am a Star Wars fan and I wasn't disappointed in the slightest. Of course I will always love the original the most, but that is because those are the characters I first fell in love with, not because the movies weren't good. You also point out the books and comics as being good. The books often didn't have the pulse of Star Wars (especially the one's written by Brian Daley and Alan Dean Foster) and the comic books (especially Dark Horse) never even had a clue. Star Wars is still great, but you are definitely a moron. So, do me a favor and go watch some crappy sci-fi and leave my Star Wars alone.


On 07 May 2006 (02:19 PM), SciFi fan said:

Just my 2 cents

I like 4-6 as a kid very much. Phantom was brilliant due to the Sci-fi effects and CG, but 2-3 just sucked. In 2 I walk out totally disappointed and I did not feel satisfied as a movie goer. The love scene was a total disgrace... In 3 the plot and dialog had so many errors that I got bored. It was just a clear attempt by Lucas to fit 3 and 4-5, and, let me assure you, the tie-up was bad. The use of the FORCE was totally misused and lacked the status it had in 4-5.

But overall .... I still love Star Wars and so do my kids (6 and 10 years old).

SciFi fan


On 11 May 2006 (08:29 PM), Xicris said:

Wow...this article's almost a year old and there's still people talking about it. This is a good thing, because fantastic points are made. Also, I applaud you for taking dowingba's comments into consideration and correcting yourself on several counts; it takes true guts and willpower as a journalist/writer/analyist to admit biases. That said, I will agree with all the ANALYTICAL posts presented here. Not the ones that offer complete jiberish accusing the article-writer of being a moron, and then present no proof. Those are just silly.

The only thing I wish to speak of at length is that there are a select few things that I, as a life-long star wars fan, enjoyed about the prequals. None of these are nitty gritty details. In fact, they are all very grand elements of the new movies (and even the old movies) that I think were things Lucas was aiming for. Sure, he messed up the details, but there are a few things he did well. I will discuss them below.

1) Evolution (or Reverse-Evolution) of Technology: I love the technology of star wars. I like knowing how things work, and the equipment used in the universe. That said, I at first could not BELIEVE how the ships looked in Ep 1. It was too sleak, to polished. The comparison of technology between Ep 1 and Ep 4, in terms of vehicles AND weapons, looked like the equivelant of comparing a Lexus to a Gelopi. Then, as the other prequals came out, I began seeing familiar shapes, hearing familiar sounds, and so on. I LIKED that by the time Ep 3 came out, I saw what looked like the beginning of Star Destroyers, fighters that looked like they could become TIEs, X-wings, and A-wings. Even the Clone Trooper armor evolves slightly between Ep 2 and 3 to more closely match Stormtroopers (you even see the Scout Trooper armor, just jungle green). The Imperial Guard uniforms are also present in a different form in Ep 1, at the very end if you catch it. This ties directly in with an earlier comment that technology REGRESSES when the Old Republic falls into oblivian, and the Empire takes over. At first, when I only had Ep 1 to judge this, I wouldn't have believed such a statement. Now, after 2 and 3 have been realeased, I think there is hard evidence to support that position, and I actually enjoy watching the transition throughout all the prequals and into the original films.

2) Jedi Talent Increases: This is actually present in BOTH sets of films. If you watch the overall progression of ability and power in both Luke and Anakin in their respective trilogies, you can actually see them getting "better" as Jedi. Luke starts out losing against even a simple Remote. In Empire Strikes Back, we see him go through some real training, and ends by contacting Leia from a distance. By Return of the Jedi, he's deflecting blaster bolts left and right, as well as slicing speeder bikes in half as they pass by. Watching Luke become a more confident person as well as proficient warrior is one of the better parts of the original trilogy as a WHOLE, and the same can be said for Anakin in the prequals (poor direction and line delivery aside). In Ep 1, Anakin doesn't have any idea how to control what he's got, but can use it instinctually. This is actually a better start then Luke had. In Ep 2 he knows how to control his power, though haphazardly. We see him taking risks with his powers, and making mistakes that Obi-Wan has to correct. We see a young man that Obi-Wan is trying to reign in and teach him to focus himself. To me, it seemed like a teenager with the will to run 100 miles but no idea how to pick a direction. The power is pent up. In Ep 3, we see Anakin at the pinical of his power before his dark side corruption, and by all rights it looks as though he's SURPASSED Obi-Wan, outperforming him on multiple levels. Regardless of whether the character thinks he deserves more, the fact is that we witness his progression into an extremely powerful individual, and watching that overall transformation in and of itself is quite intreguing.

3) The Emperor: Believe it or not, the political maneuvering doen by Palpatine throughout the first 3 movies is actually ingenius. What's funny is that he seems smarter as Palpatine then as Sidius. Sidius simply orders the Gungan Army destroyed in Ep 1, not seeing the trap when it would probably have been obvious for him. But beyond that, if you watch carefully, you can see Palpatine playing a rather good game of chess through all 3 prequals, making choices in Ep 1 that pay off in Eps 2 and 3 (and even 4 with the dissolution of the Council/Senate as reported by Moff Tarkin). He convinces Amidala to vote no confidence for Velorum because he KNEW he would be nominated for Supreme Chancler, KNOWING he would then purposely plunge the Republic into war, KNOWING that he could get emergency powers granted to himself because of it, KNOWING that he could convince the Republic that in order to maintain order against threats like Greveus the Empire must be created. Because he had a foot in bad guy territory under the noses of the Jedi, he was able to manipulate both the good and bad against each other in order to attain the title and authority of Emperor. He even put himself at risk to force the Jedi to act in a way that Anakin would think un-Jedi like, convinceing him that Palpatine's side is correct. If you really pay attention to how Palpatine maneuvers, it actually works quite well and is, again, a large scale change that takes place over multpiple movies.

To appreciate the things I have just described, one cannot look at each film individually, but as films that compliment each other. Only then can some of the large overarching themes be unearthed. They tend to be completely ignored by die-hard fans because they are paying more attention to minute details. Basically, it should be noted that overall themes are still present and actually going stronger then one might think from all the arguing. Lucas can at least give us that much.


On 20 September 2006 (06:59 PM), Arpie said:

I am ashamed to be a member of the Star Wars generation. I really wish we had some other... some better defining moment. Some other link as a group of people. I enjoyed Star Wars as a kid, heck, I was so wrapped up in the whole thing I even bought into the ewoks, but I'm ashamed. I should have looked farther, tried to see beyond the showy canvas of nonsense, but I just didn't want to and now our whole generation is probably paying for that. But every generation becomes disillusioned, or so I've heard and, in this case, the disillusionment may be a good one. Instead of turning in upon ourselves, it's that inward fantasy that's crumbled and maybe, just maybe, we've got a chance to go out into the world with what's left of our lives and quietly make it a better place, instead of the other way around. Maybe we could be the inside-out generation? That might be something to reach for.


On 22 September 2006 (03:12 PM), kailam said:

Yeah, I've been pretty upset about how disappointing the prequels were. It's nice to know there are others out there who felt as let-down as I was. Of course, it's also rather sad that a couple of sci-fi movies constitute a 'major let-down' in my life, but that's another issue altogether...

My opinion? WELL, since you asked!! It seems that a 'good' star wars movie can be defined in 2 very different terms.

There are those of us who think good sci-fi filmaking combines character development, emotional dialogue, PLUS action & effects to produce a broad, epic story. The original trilogy had all of these aspects. It had plot holes and some bad acting, but as sci fi fans the good outweighed the bad.

Then there are those of us who think a sci-fi movie is good if it gets your heart pounding, pushes the special effects boundaries, transports you to another time and never lets up on the other-worldliness. The prequels had all of these in abundance, but NONE of the emotion or interesting dialogue of the originals.

Thus, those in it for the action and effects are happy with the prequels, while those in it for a bit more are left sorely dissapointed.

Lucas was never great at character development and dialogue, but the writing in the originals was FAR superior to that in the prequels. Luke and Leia's relationship may have been a little underdeveloped (at least it was for me), but Anakin and Padme's courtship was an absolute joke - and not a very funny one. Whatever small bits of good writing and emotion there were in the originals is completely absent from the prequels.

That, at least, explains to me why I can't stand to sit through the prequels because they are so awfully painful to watch, yet others can sing their praises as though nothing's wrong. We're simply looking for different things.

I will say this though: Lucas has slipped (or lost his mind), and I will not be convinced otherwise. I'm not an expert, but I know something about film and theater. One thing is always true in any production: Bad acting from good actors is the director's fault. If Hayden really sucked, Lucas should have fired him (the orignal Aragorn was let go for being too young - Hayden's performances were a far worse crime). Every badly acted scene that made it to the big screen is the responsiblity of none other that Lucas himself.

The CGI issue? I am a huge fan of CGI, and I love what it can do. Lucas abuses it, horribly. ILM, in general, in fact, abuses it. A real life, physical model - no matter how low budget or crappy looking - always sells a scene better than a cartoon. If you can't animate CGI well, if you can't apply textures and proper lighting to make it look real, it's a useless tool that defeats the entire illusion.

To some, the above points aren't the main aspects of Lucas' films. But to me, they are what makes a film worth watching, and therefore I say these movies suck hard.


On 22 September 2006 (03:17 PM), kailam said:

EDIT: in the above post, I meant to refer to Han and Leia's relationship, not the Jerry Springer Incest Special that was Luke and Leia's relationship


On 13 November 2006 (09:07 AM), Disapointed Jedi said:

They were all silly and anyone of us could have made a better prequel. I totoaly identify with the above writer about the metachlorians or whatever, I thought it was great that there was something mystical and ancient among a vast realm of technology, and what was kewl about it was it still kicked ass. So silly how he ruined it, especially with the part that Anakin was born without a father, what a load of crap. And the Jedi should not have had a council in the middle of the busiest planet on the solar system. Thats like buddist having an office in Manhattan, just plain silly, anyways I can go on and on, but yea i totaly agree, Lucas ruined his own work, its forever ruined.


On 13 November 2006 (09:10 AM), Disapointed Jedi said:

Oh and another thing, Queen Amidala was elected??
And if she was elected, thier best choice was a 13 year old girl to rule the planet? Who was her Campaign manager, Yoda? What kind of idiocy is this?


On 13 November 2006 (10:33 AM), The Real lucas said:

Im sorry for the horrible movies that were made with my name on the box, but it wasnt me, an evil sith kidnapped me and mind tricked everyone into thinking he was me. My actual movie was supposed to go like this...

Phantom menace:
Anakin was the same age as luke when he first begane his training, which is why yoda was so hesitant to train luke in the first one, and because of anakins age refuses to train him, Obi Wan defys yodas orders not to train him because Obi Was also told He was too old to recieve training but Qaijon trained him anyway because he saw his potential (So was I if you can remember). So Obiwan is an outcast renegade and he takes Anakin somewhere quiet to train him, and basically sacrifices everything he ever worked for to train Anakin because he believes he is following the principles of a true Jedi. Anakin of course proves to be a superior student. After the disapearances of several Jedi, Yoda is forced to reconcile with Obi Wan and his new padawan and tasks them to find out what has happened to them. Obi wan and Anakin are then sent to nabu to discover what happend to the jedis that were sent there, while on Nabu Anakin is recognized as the lost prince and rightfull heir to the throne of nabu. Because of this Chancellor Palpatine must step down from his seat of power, which he does gladly. While in Nabu Anakin decides to leave his newfound kingdom in the charge of Chancellor Palpatine to continue his Jedi studies. They then continue thier search to Alderon (spelling?) where they discover that the royal family there has been dethroned and that the actual ruler of the planet is a person named Darth Maul. Obi-wan and Anakin Defeat Darth Maul and rescue the royal family, Anakin then meats princess Amidala, OF OLDERON. They are obviously intrigued with one another and the movie ends.

Attack of the clones:
Darth Maul having been defeated in olderon barely escapes with his life, Darth maul is branded by the public as the mastermind of an evil plot to bring down the empire, it is here where you discover that he is not the mastermind, but simply the apprentice of Palpatine, the sith master. Palpatine sends Darth Maul to the planet Daranir 3 to oversee the clone facility they have secretly developed to make a new generation of super soldier. The planet is for the most part uninhabitable and the facility is underground, the planet is charted, because with the current technology its pretty hard to hide a planet, but they dont know about the underground facility, the facility is complete with fertilization labs and barracks and everything a clone soldier would need for training. Palpatine has resigned as the chancellor of Nabu and becomes a political enemy of the current state, and is rallied by the people. Palpatine starts a campaign of hate against the current government and believes that humans and other species are much to different to be in unified government and vies for seperation from the union of planets. His campaign of hate starts to spread, though he is not supported by the majority, he gathers enough followers to be a force to be reconned with. All the human populated planets succeed from the union, except for Olderon and Nabu. They choose to remain with the federation. Yoda knows now what Palpatine truly is, he is using the fears of the people and his powers of the force to bend entire planets to his will, it is then that Yoda realizes that the emperor is too powerfull to take on his own, yoda retires to the degoba system to avoid the oncomming onslaught that is about to happen. Yoda tries to persuade the other Jedi to do the same but they decide to fight for the Union of planets. Palpatine sends Darth Maul to the Degoba system to destroy yoda, yoda destroys Darth maul. Palpatine then sends his clone army and siezes controll of the galaxy, he is ratified and proclaimed the emperor by the people, though he tries to refuse the title it is forced on him with pleading and begging of the people, they proclaim him the savior of the Galaxy. He who drove away the corruption and brought everlasting peace to the Universe.

Episode III:

Things are pretty messed up now, so Obi-wan takes refuge in Tattooine, Anakin stays with him but then must leave because he recieves a premonition about Amidala. Anakin tries to warn him not to go but he goes anyway, he reaches Alderon and finds that everything appears normal, alderon has entered an agreement with the empire and will remain untouched as long as it agrees with the policies of the new empire, Anakin Marries Amidala in a ceremony and in turn unites Nabu and Alderon, this raises many concerns with the empire because the two planets combined can raise a formidable military. Anakin is also plagued with visions of Amidalas death. The Emperor palpatine can also see these visions. He uses them to lure Anakin to the dark side with promises of having the power to change fate, that only with his aid can he save her. Anakin agrees that he would do anything to save her, Palpatine then convinces Anakin that the reason Amidala dies is because of Yoda's doing, Beyond all reason Anakin goes to the degoba system to destroy yoda, Yoda Beats Anakin within an inch of his life and is then saved by Obi Wans intervention. Despite himself yoda listens to Obi wan and spares Anakins life, Anakins body is wracked with wounds from the the fight with Yoda, His limbs are dismembered and must be cyberneticaly Altered to live, the fury of yodas wrath forever changed anakin to the darkside. Palpatine Personaly Takes Anakin away from the Alliance forces and Begins to corrupt his mine further. They then travel the galaxy together to destroy the remaining Jedi in the galaxy and to crush any further resistance that they may face. Amidala dies giving birth to twins, Darth Vader hardly cares anymore so hardly notices when Obi Wan takes luke to his uncle on Tattooine, and leaves Lea in place to be the future princess of Olderon. You of course know what happens to luke.


On 18 January 2007 (08:07 PM), Wulfgard Martel said:

The simple truth is that George Lucas is not the visionary we thought he was. He did not have nine episodes in mind when he made star wars. He didn't have three. If dear reader you doubt that, look for the original scripts. "A New Hope" is the 4th or 5th version of the script written for the movie.

Did anyone really buy Obi-wan's "Certain point of view..." speach? Lucas made these movies to make money, to sell toys. But he accidently inspired a universe.

The Star Wars universe is a thousand times more complex than the trifle Lucas imagined. From Zahn's books, to the Xwing, tie fighter, and Dark Forces video games. The fact that Lucas invalidated most of the books (plots that he authorized) with his pathetic prequals, is an outrage.

The stewardship of Star Wars has long been taken from George Lucas. The point is just being driven home. The history of the books is far more believable, interesting, and logical than the movies.

I vote that the prequals be stricken from record. They are of an alternate timeline to the true Star Wars universe. This Alternate Timeline is also home to the Star Wars Holiday Special, Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure, Star Wars: Droids, Star Wars: Ewoks, and Ewoks: The Battle for Endor.

George Lucas, I cast you out. After a time of exile and penance, we may allow you to return to the universe we hold dear. But for now, BEGONE!


On 06 February 2007 (08:17 PM), The Dude said:

I rather like all of the TV movies and cartoons that were made of Star Wars. However, yes the alternate timeline idea is fantastic. Lucas had a brilliant spark that he managed to coax into a flame. However, he has been a very terrible keeper of that flame. He has successfully turned iconic characters, legends of film into laughable characitures, drowning in a sea of CGI.


On 09 February 2007 (11:58 PM), chrmorning said:

Look, the real reason the prequels suck has very little to do with CGI, poor plot, or bad acting. The OT was full of all these things, from the almost comical stop-motion movement of the AT-AT Walkers in TESB, to mark Hamill's high-school musical caliber acting. No, my friends, the problem with the prequels is Vader... Vader... Vader... If you are like me, having grown up with the OT Vader was larger-than-life. Is there not one of us who didn't feel the grip of cold fear around our necks when Vader appears in the cave on Dagobah in TESB? In fact, the feeling of pure EVIL is palpable throughout EP 4-6. He totured Leia, for Christ's sake, in EP 1, and then, to put the uppity be-atch even further in her place, blew up her whole planet. As one writer stated before, he tortured Han in Ep 5 just because he could. He killed high ranking Imperial officers on the spot for the slightest infraction... Now... We are expected to believe that skinny, small, whiny, moping, Hayden Christenson is DARTH VADER???? WTF??? To use an old Hollywood saying... Vader was the man/cyborg/sith we loved to hate. Who the hell can hold a candle to our beloved Dark Lord in the prequels? Not Darth Maul, who, by the way, looks like one of the freaks you might see at an Oakland Raiders game, no... not him... Count Dooku? Just because you are named after a turd doesn't mean I'm scared of you... Palpatine/Sidious... If he were any more over the top in EP 3, he could have been one of the gay guys in Mel Brooks' the producers. No one FEARS Anakin at any point during the prequels. He doesn't inspire ANY emotions in anybody. Then, as Darth Vader, fully dressed, HE CRYS OUT in anguish over Padme... well, I can't speak for you, but every fiber of my being rebelled against that injustice. (A little dramatic, I know, but COME ON...) Sure, you could make the argument that he killed some Tuskan Raiders in EP 2, and he took out some children in EP 3, but the raw, unadulterated fear and power that was MY Darth Vader in the OT is missing. No, the plot of the prequel is decent but the essence and meaning of Darth Vader is totally lost in the telling. May the Force Be With Y'all....


On 21 February 2007 (05:34 AM), Richt said:

In my opinion Lucas has a lot to answer for!

I agree with the original poster entirley. I grew up with the original Star Wars films I loved them, and watched them far more than I possibly should have.

But, Lucas's systematic deconstruction of a legendary trilogy didn't start with the release of the prequals. For me it started when he began fiddling with the originals, tweaking here and there, adding CGI sections in. While I admit, some of these additions were great, some of them began to strip that magic from the Star Wars universe. For example. In the first release of Jedi, when all hell breaks loose on Jabba's barge and Han is suspended by his feet on a skiff above the Salac (apologies for spelling!)trying to rescue Lando pointing a gun at the tenticle, Lando Says:
"Whoaa wait I thought you were blind?"
To which Han replies simply.
"Trust me!"
To me, for many years this implied the possibility that Han was finally begining to believe in the force. The remastered version however changed Han's reply to:
"I can see a lot better now!"
This simple change completely destroyed my conviction that Han may be discovering the force.
You may be sitting there now thinking what the hell am I chatting about, so what! But my point is that Star Wars was more than Lucas's vision, it was personal to me. Lucas showed me a world, a universe and left me marvelling and saying 'wow I wonder what is on the other side of that door, or what kind of creature left its remains in the Rancor pit, who was Bobba Fett. The latter being one of my bigger grievances.

I agree whole heartedly that Lucas must have forgotten half of what went on in the original trigology when he started on the prequals. There are just far too many plot holes and continuity errors. To name but a few, Leia, when asked in Return if she remembered her Mother she replies
"Just a little bit, she died when I was very young."
Well you got that right, her mother died a few seconds after giving birth to her! There is R2D2 with his flying rocket gizmos, and Chewie who goes from being a pivotal character amongst the wookies and personal friend of Yoda to a low down co-pilot for a back-water smuggler? These I believe are unforgivable errors that should not have been made.

Is CGI to blame? Possibly! I think a lot of people of my generation would agree with me here. I was an 80's child, born late 70's I grew up with the 80's films, where sets were constructed in their entirety, and actors acted with other actors and used detailed and scaled props. And I think it is quite safe to say that, while there have been some recent epic films that I have loved, Gladiator, the Matrix trilogy, Lord of the Rings etc, but nothing can beat the oppressive feeling of Aliens, with its gritty combat because the sets were real and the actors acted in a true environment, without a blue screen and the direction of computer animators. Willow, which I enjoy watching more than Lord of The rings.

I think when push comes to shove, Lucas had an amazing vision, its just that that vision didnt leave room for CGI effects, and really didnt need them.

Unfortunately, now when I watch the original trilogy it is tainted by the prequals, and my belief that Lucas had money and franchise on his mind rather than producing quality prequals.

All that said, could any films of that genre live up to the expectations of the original trilogy? Have any films of the same genre seen as much popularity or success? I think that to true Starwars fans, those who were there to watch on the release of each original, Star Wars episodes 4,5&6 will always be the pinnacle of Sci-Fi against which all else is judged. Those who saw the films second hand may be more tollerant, but for us old timers, weve seen the best and rest just don't compare.


On 21 February 2007 (05:38 AM), Richt said:

In my opinion Lucas has a lot to answer for!

I agree with the original poster entirley. I grew up with the original Star Wars films I loved them, and watched them far more than I possibly should have.

But, Lucas's systematic deconstruction of a legendary trilogy didn't start with the release of the prequals. For me it started when he began fiddling with the originals, tweaking here and there, adding CGI sections in. While I admit, some of these additions were great, some of them began to strip that magic from the Star Wars universe. For example. In the first release of Jedi, when all hell breaks loose on Jabba's barge and Han is suspended by his feet on a skiff above the Salac (apologies for spelling!)trying to rescue Lando pointing a gun at the tenticle, Lando Says:
"Whoaa wait I thought you were blind?"
To which Han replies simply.
"Trust me!"
To me, for many years this implied the possibility that Han was finally begining to believe in the force. The remastered version however changed Han's reply to:
"I can see a lot better now!"
This simple change completely destroyed my conviction that Han may be discovering the force.
You may be sitting there now thinking what the hell am I chatting about, so what! But my point is that Star Wars was more than Lucas's vision, it was personal to me. Lucas showed me a world, a universe and left me marvelling and saying 'wow I wonder what is on the other side of that door, or what kind of creature left its remains in the Rancor pit, who was Bobba Fett. The latter being one of my bigger grievances.

I agree whole heartedly that Lucas must have forgotten half of what went on in the original trigology when he started on the prequals. There are just far too many plot holes and continuity errors. To name but a few, Leia, when asked in Return if she remembered her Mother she replies
"Just a little bit, she died when I was very young."
Well you got that right, her mother died a few seconds after giving birth to her! There is R2D2 with his flying rocket gizmos, and Chewie who goes from being a pivotal character amongst the wookies and personal friend of Yoda to a low down co-pilot for a back-water smuggler? These I believe are unforgivable errors that should not have been made.

Is CGI to blame? Possibly! I think a lot of people of my generation would agree with me here. I was an 80's child, born late 70's I grew up with the 80's films, where sets were constructed in their entirety, and actors acted with other actors and used detailed and scaled props. And I think it is quite safe to say that, while there have been some recent epic films that I have loved, Gladiator, the Matrix trilogy, Lord of the Rings etc, but nothing can beat the oppressive feeling of Aliens, with its gritty combat because the sets were real and the actors acted in a true environment, without a blue screen and the direction of computer animators. Willow, which I enjoy watching more than Lord of The rings.

I think when push comes to shove, Lucas had an amazing vision, its just that that vision didnt leave room for CGI effects, and really didnt need them.

Unfortunately, now when I watch the original trilogy it is tainted by the prequals, and my belief that Lucas had money and franchise on his mind rather than producing quality prequals.

All that said, could any films of that genre live up to the expectations of the original trilogy? Have any films of the same genre seen as much popularity or success? I think that to true Starwars fans, those who were there to watch on the release of each original, Star Wars episodes 4,5&6 will always be the pinnacle of Sci-Fi against which all else is judged. Those who saw the films second hand may be more tollerant, but for us old timers, weve seen the best and rest just don't compare.


On 04 April 2007 (06:09 PM), Blane Mylke said:

We're forgetting one crucial element to STAR WARS' success. With ROTJ being the least favorite of the Original Trilogy, it suffered greatly due to the absence of one producer: GARY KURTZ. Anyone familiar with him will know some of his contributions had made it possible for ANH and TESB of being two of the greatest films ever produced. His involvement with ROTJ at the time would've been a crowning achievement had he stayed. Kurtz also produced AMERICAN GRAFFITI, THE DARK CRYSTAL, and the much maligned (but under-rated) RETURN TO OZ. At the time with his involvement with ROTJ, there no Ewoks; no Death Star 2 (he didn't like to tread on familiar ground); no Emperor (at leat not til Episode IX); no relation between Luke and Leia (Luke's sister was somebody else); Han was going to die in battle; Leia would've become Queen of her people; and Luke seperated from his friends to continue his training. The ending to ROTJ would've been very much sad and uplifting, with a downer very much like that on TESB. The possibilities could have been limitless, and I ache very much to have seen this. Alas, it's all hindsight.


On 16 April 2007 (09:23 AM), Sean said:

I think that what most ppl fail to see is that Lucas completly ruined star wars for many different reasons.

I will go into those and would like everyones opinon.

For one...the story was setup with the original 3 but when Lucas wrote the prequels it is as if he disregarded everything from the original 3. If you watch the prequels first and then the originals things will be said that will make you say "wtf is he talking about?" "That never happend"

I.E..

"Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough but your uncle wouldnt allow it"--REALLY? WHEN?

"That's what your uncle told you. He did'nt agree with your fathers ideas and thought he should have stayed home and not gotten involved"- INVOLVED IN WHAT? WHAT IDEAS?

Leia remembering her real mother as she tells Luke in ROTJ.--FUNNY SINCE YOU WERE 1 MINUTE OLD.

"I haven't gone by the name of Obi-wan since well before you were born"- OH REALLY?

"you will go to the dagobah system there you will learn from yoda the jedi master who instructed me"-SO YODA TOUGHT OBI WAN?

"he thought you might follow ole obi wan on some damn fool idelasitc crusade like your father did" -WHAT DAMN FOOL IDEALSTIC CRUSADE?

Now lets go on all the times in the 80's where lucas said the real story was about anakin and how he was this great jedi that everyone admired and was a hero to the galaxy and ppl looked up to and how he reached this great height only to fall prey to the darkside and have a tragic fall from grace..

WHAT FALL FROM GRACE? WHAT KIND OF ANAKIN DID WE GET? we got a 2nd grader...and then we got a teen age smart mouth punk who got smart with his amster from scene one..and a little whiney brat "its not fair" (quote anakin there)....even if you did not know the story of darth vader you would expect this punk to turn bad or evil....where is the tragic fall from grace? How can we have emotion and feel sorrow for someone or sense they fell from grace when they are nothing but a little whiney teen age brat punk lol COME ON?

Not to mention in the original 3 lucas had great screenwritters and directors.....lucas tried to do these all on his own..direct all 3...write all 3....and we see the result. WOnder how much money he saved doing that and if that was the goal all along?

At any rate its clear the prequels are crap....and I like many waited almost 20 yrs for them. I will never forgive Lucas for what he has done. I agree with the original poster that I think the prequels were more or less pout out to make money and to be one long 6 hr commerical for what Lucas arts CGI department is capable of.

THANKS GEORGE ...thanks a lot


On 16 April 2007 (09:25 AM), Sean said:

I think that what most ppl fail to see is that Lucas completly ruined star wars for many different reasons.

I will go into those and would like everyones opinon.

For one...the story was setup with the original 3 but when Lucas wrote the prequels it is as if he disregarded everything from the original 3. If you watch the prequels first and then the originals things will be said that will make you say "wtf is he talking about?" "That never happend"

I.E..

"Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough but your uncle wouldnt allow it"--REALLY? WHEN?

"That's what your uncle told you. He did'nt agree with your fathers ideas and thought he should have stayed home and not gotten involved"- INVOLVED IN WHAT? WHAT IDEAS?

Leia remembering her real mother as she tells Luke in ROTJ.--FUNNY SINCE YOU WERE 1 MINUTE OLD.

"I haven't gone by the name of Obi-wan since well before you were born"- OH REALLY?

"you will go to the dagobah system there you will learn from yoda the jedi master who instructed me"-SO YODA TOUGHT OBI WAN?

"he thought you might follow ole obi wan on some damn fool idelasitc crusade like your father did" -WHAT DAMN FOOL IDEALSTIC CRUSADE?

Now lets go on all the times in the 80's where lucas said the real story was about anakin and how he was this great jedi that everyone admired and was a hero to the galaxy and ppl looked up to and how he reached this great height only to fall prey to the darkside and have a tragic fall from grace..

WHAT FALL FROM GRACE? WHAT KIND OF ANAKIN DID WE GET? we got a 2nd grader...and then we got a teen age smart mouth punk who got smart with his amster from scene one..and a little whiney brat "its not fair" (quote anakin there)....even if you did not know the story of darth vader you would expect this punk to turn bad or evil....where is the tragic fall from grace? How can we have emotion and feel sorrow for someone or sense they fell from grace when they are nothing but a little whiney teen age brat punk lol COME ON?

Not to mention in the original 3 lucas had great screenwritters and directors.....lucas tried to do these all on his own..direct all 3...write all 3....and we see the result. WOnder how much money he saved doing that and if that was the goal all along?

At any rate its clear the prequels are crap....and I like many waited almost 20 yrs for them. I will never forgive Lucas for what he has done. I agree with the original poster that I think the prequels were more or less pout out to make money and to be one long 6 hr commerical for what Lucas arts CGI department is capable of.

THANKS GEORGE ...thanks a lot


On 30 March 2008 (10:55 PM), TIMMY! said:

PREQUELS SUCK BECAUSE : 1. Already look like a dated video games. Somehow the backdrops and coloring looked dated when the films were released. 2. Space Diversity. Seems that every race and culture HAD to be represented. Dont recall that being a probelm in the first two films. 3. Double dose of Jar Jar and that fucking kid in the first prequel. 4. Talking down to kids. Pandering to the youngsters doesnt work. They are smarter than you think. Why do all these new cartoons suck? Because they go after one demographic. Bugs Bunny, Tom & Jerry, etc., are timeless because they didnt treat kids like, well, kids. 5. Lack of actual "space" footage. Majority of the scenes are of the the actors sitting down and having a good talk. I believe the audience would like to be transported to another place (outer space) but ended up being transported to a soap opera with disco outfits. Lucas finally figured it out on the last of the prequels opening but it was too late.


On 22 April 2008 (08:45 AM), George said:

Gosh, I liked 'em. That scene that was like a chariot race-- that was cool. Like Ben Hur, right? And Yoda was walking around. And stuff. And that little girl from that movie, I made, uh, I mean she was a Princess! She was all grown up and Princess like she should be in real life so nobody would ever, ever touch her.

I have to go somewhere...


On 29 April 2008 (10:54 PM), Adam said:

The prequels are the worst attempts at movie makin that ive ever seen Lucas should shoot himself for even thinking that those scripts were good or that him directing himself was the best idea. I hope that when he is tits up someome will redue this crap called star wars 1,2,3


On 19 September 2008 (10:35 AM), Dade said:

Same here. I showed my kids the original films and they love them. I refuse to let them know the newer ones exist. A little dramatic I know but I really don't want to ruin it for them. It's sad that I dread my daughter watching Episode 1 more than I dread her first date.


On 23 September 2008 (10:27 AM), Andrej Panjkov said:

There is a very interesting document on the internet called "The Secret
History of Star Wars". Actually, I just checked: it's going to be
published on dead tree, so the e-book is not where it used to be. I deleted
my copy, so don't ask me for it.

Anyway. The Secret History is pertinent to this whole discussion, as it
traces Lucas's character and plot ideas as they evolved through many
versions of the scripts, and as revealed in his interviews and writings
over the years.

Lucas was not a good enough writer/plotter to keep all these things
straight over the years. Episode 4 was probably closest to his vision:
a Saturday Matinee serial adventure, with elements of World War 2 movies
thrown in. It had a stylish grimy, worn look, great effects, an amazing
score. The Luke character is George Lucas living in a small town, like
the characters of American Graffiti. Darth Vader was a mysterious and
menacing henchman. That Vader was powerful highlighted the power of
Tarkin, who ordered Vader casually, and did not fear him.

Now to make this world even richer, the script is littered with
references to historic events (Clone Wars), other worlds never seen, a
whole android subculture, glimpsed partially, and back stories, like
Han's problems with Jabba, or tragic ones, like Lars and Beru wishing to
protect Luke from ending up like his father (not Vader at that point!)

To pander to fans, Lucas spelled out every one of these little references
and back stories in clumsy explicit detail. In 1-3, we get it all.
There are no references to any distant places, long-ago times, or whole
other cultures that we only just hear about. No, the whole thing is
smashed in your face! Here it is! The universe of 1-3 is pretty much
all there is.

Sitting through 1-3 felt like being lectured, with more material than
fits into the time allotted. Every little thing had to be explained.
Given Lucas's reputation as an innovator in the 70s, I have to wonder why
he would make such a film-making blunder. I'm sure at film school they
would have discussed the notion that what's _not_ on the screen can be as
important as what _is_ on it. Lucas put everything on the screen, and
nothing off it, nothing tacit, nothing implied.

The beginning of this trend I put at E5, with the whole Jabba bit.
Right. So now we know all about Han's troubles. And bam, that's all
there is to the character. Nothing's left.

The other big big problem starting in E5 is of course, "I am your
father". Actually, there was one last chance to sort this out in E6. It
could have been a lie on Vader's part to disturb and destabilize Luke.
But no, Vader was pop, and Leia was Sis, and Pop tortured Sis (child
abuse?) and of course we are all thankful that Luke and Leia went no
further than a kiss. Who now cannot cringe on viewing that scene? On
first viewing though, it was a little triumph for the farm boy with a
crush on the haughty princess, to thaw her heart a little, and quite
charming it was too.

In the Secret History, it is made clear that Luke's father was an
important character in Lucas's vision, but he was not always Vader.
Crowbarring Luke's dad in as Vader turned the films from fun, goofy
(compactor anyone?) escapism, into some sort of bizarre psychodrama. The
plot problems generated by this development are enormous, and the
attempts by diehard fans - and Lucas - to resolve the plot problems
will, I predict, replace the old "how-many-angels-dance-on-pin" metaphor
as the archetype of an intricate, hair-splitting and ultimately pointless
debate. There was a point at which I gave up and said: nah, all it was,
was Lucas got it wrong.

All the other flaws of the first three films - the lousy dialogue, the
who-gives-a-damn acting, Jar-Jar, etc - also count against them. But
really, it's the whole weak plot structure that kills the films for me,
that makes them unconvincing enough that I can't invest any effort into
caring about what happens to any of the characters. Once that happens,
all the other flaws stand out and are unmissable. In E4, I could
overlook "laserbrain", "parsecs" and little lapses like that, because the
rest of the film was big, noisy fun. In E1, I felt like I was sitting
down for a two hour lecture on taxation law, and when I looked for some
fun to distract me, all I got was institutional Jedi toadying ("master"),
an army of robot idiots, a cipher-villain, Darth Maul (Oh look. A double
sword.) And J.J. Binks, the Clippy of Star Wars.

So: Star Wars Sucks Because Darth Vader Is Luke's Father.


On 28 September 2008 (09:58 AM), Jaden said:

I'm sorry but the writer of this review is undeniably an ass.

But then again there are many that cling pathetically to the roots of their beloved series and can't embrace the change of the world. Well you know what?

GET OUT OF YOUR HORSE-DRAWN CARRIAGES AND BUY A GOD DAMN CAR!

Shit happens and so does CGI! CGI is a way of creating realistic and life like worlds and shouldn't be taken for granted.

I know I'm about to be blasted of the planet for this but I truly enjoyed the prequel trilogy MORE than the original.

Want to know why? Well I'll launch right into that. Firstly the new trilogy had much better plots. They were better planned, every last drop of script contributed to the trilogy and was genuinely interesting, unlike the rebellion versus empire shit that quickly got boring. What IS so bad about the empire anyway? Seems like they aren't necessarily doing anything terrible with their regulations.

Anyway the second reason I liked the newer trilogy was that the characters were just SO much more likeable, which therefore made the movies much more attractive. The relationships worked, the characters were properly developed over the series and they really pulled at your emotions. I cried when Padme died in childbirth and Aniken got immolated. I checked my watch when Han was frozen in carbonite and Leia watched in grief because I knew he would come back and all would be right again.

Which is another one of my gripes at the old series. The newer series is written like a Greek tragedy, with love and loss, death and grief and good and evil intertwined in an emotional set-piece you beg to turn out well yet know won't. The old series was a happy frolicked through the galaxy to save the day. Noone important died, those who loved each other stayed together forever and good prevailed decisively over evil. Like a little bedtime story you read to children. It puts you to sleep and fails to captivate you.

My final barb to fling at the old trilogy was how the originals ultimately fail to live up to prequels. I know that though I watched the saga in chronological order this statement may seen as insane since the originals were made first and the originals couldn't change after the prequels were made. However when you put the two trilogies in comparison it is easy to see my point of view.

The prequels did an amazing job of setting up a bleak and depressing landscape, demolishing everything they created over the last three movies to do this. It brings down relationships, government and the very backdrop of the galaxy I'd grown to love, strengthening the prequel trilogy in the process. We expect a brilliant comeback, an amazing and complex battle of politics and morals along with lightsabers and blasters which fills every movie of the old series to the brim and leaves us feeling satisfied and genuinely believing the victory of the rebellion.

What I got was an trilogy with little character development (Han's "team work" turnaround was laughable, I could see the cliché from the moment I saw him), little struggle and effort by the protagonists and a villain that, though great in concept and general effect, lacked the apparent character needed to be evil. The rebellion came across as one sided and uninteresting and so did the empire (which is a true shame seeing the acting capacity of Ian Mcdiarmid). Overall everything the prequels worked towards is made mediocre by the originals. What a shame.

And that is my overly long explanation on why I dislike the originals. While their premise served for campy escapism, they rarely pushed me into realm of caring for what happens which is entirely the opposite of the prequels. Thank god George Lucas made the prequels. Not only did it allow him to utilise CGI, which was a major reason for me liking the prequels, but also it also created more emotion in me than any other series has. The originals did their job and I can understand why they appealed so much back in the day where plots were as undeveloped as CGI. But people, we've moved on. We've learnt how to digitally create fictional images...and learnt how to write.


On 24 November 2008 (06:38 PM), jackie said:

you are right dude and anyone who likes the prequel trilogy is a fuckin retarded asslicker


On 24 November 2008 (06:41 PM), jackie said:

i dont know why that got posted twice and hey jaden you are an asslicking homo